iwish Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 It's a myth!! I stopped going to the gym after my recent breakup and i started going again this week so as to get her out of my mind. The problem is, i'm running and i think of her. I'm cycling and i think of her. I lift some weights and of course i think of her. Swimming, the same. Now please tell me this will pass... or am i just obsessed?!
v33 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 But you'd be thinking of her anyways, right? At least you are doing something good for your body and general well being at the same time.
stolenheart123 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I feel the same way, but this is the normal process. I enjoy the moments where I do not think of her, and im alot better a month later with NC. Its hard but slowly she will fade from your mind, you have to be strong for you.
sunshinegirl Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 v33 is right. Yes, you may still think of her. But you're doing your body a world of good. And the endorphins will help boost your mood even if your thoughts are still consumed with her, what happened, whether there's hope, etc. I did yoga last night at home and got that nice "yogic glow" as Baron Baptiste promised in the video. I felt strong and 'myself' afterwards. My ex always said he had a hard time watching me do yoga because he always wanted to have sex with me (!). Well, you know what? He no longer gets to do that. But I am still the strong, sexy woman he WANTED to have sex with. So there. (See? It's all about attitude shift.)
sumdude Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Ditto what the others ay. Yeah i though about my ex like mad while lifting, running etc... But at least when I was done I could sleep pretty well and felt better physically and emotionally. After 6 months I also dropped 50+ lbs so that didn't hurt either.. It didn't take my mind off of it all... it gave me somewhere to work my frustrations and anger out in a positive way.
iain Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Or, as a personal trainer, I could write you a program that will take all of your focus and attention just on breathing and surviving that 40mins-1hour I've lost my fiance just last week and she's all I can think about, my mass is wasting away as my diet is about 2 protein shakes and 6 beers a day. I hadn't gone to the gym until today and the only thing that made my workout possible was to make it so intense I thought I couldn't finish. I actually feel very relaxed now. And like sunshine has said before, the endorphins and "pump" are giving me a much-needed self-confidence boost. PM me if you need any help with a routine, also set your goals, what you wanna achieve? Who you wanna look like? This can give you some more focus on you and less on "her"
Author iwish Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 Yes guys, i guess you are all right. I was just worried that i was just being obsessive in thinking about her even though i'm in the gym. Glad to see i'm normal! And man do i ache!! Iain, i'd love a programme, i'll PM you for some tips.. Thanks
bayouboi Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I dunno how I'd make it if it weren't for the gym.
Peter_pan Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 at first i went to the gym and realized i was doing it because of her not because i wanted to do it for ME. now ive been going for 3 months for me not her, and i do enjoy it. when i first started i couldn't stop thinking of her whilst working out. now i go with a mate and i only think of her after or later in the day when im bored etc. keep it up though, think of how many hot girls you can pull when you have a hot body!
critter909 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I've been running and thinking about the relationship the whole time. But it helps me sleep and feel better physically.
fran82 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 im kinda thinking the opposite to everyone, although it all makes good logical sense! i've had a problem with the gym ever since my split about 7 weeks ago, i've been about 2-3 times, not because i think of him when im there, but ive got no motivation, physically at all! like i think about going, and i shut down completely! and i always enjoyed it before! i dont get why its changed! cuz trust now more than ever i want my pre r/ship body back! lol! i think maybe sometimes, you have to listen to ur body! just dont over indulge enough to regret it. just take the time to detach yourself mentally (at least thats what im trying to do) but im not an expert, maybe these guys are spot on!
iain Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 fran, it's also sensible to consider your nutrition during these hard times. I know for a fact that mine has suffered considerably since my split so you need to tailor your diet and workout to suit your different energy levels. Before I'm sure you slept better than now, you ate more regularly and healthily, you're right, listen to your body... but look for the words "I can" exercise now rather than "I can't."
johnnienaked Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Here's a tip. Do it for you. Go and get jacked, and always have in the back of your mind that the next time she sees you, she will kick herself in the ass for dumping you. Such a huge motivator. If it wasn't for my breakup i never would have considered going to the gym. But a year from now when I am 210 lbs and cut like a Christmas turkey I'll have no qualms about lifting up my shirt and giving her the finger next time I see her. But then again, you will probably end up getting so much attention from the opposite sex that you will completely forget about her. So either way, you win.
northstar1 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 It's a myth!! I stopped going to the gym after my recent breakup and i started going again this week so as to get her out of my mind. The problem is, i'm running and i think of her. I'm cycling and i think of her. I lift some weights and of course i think of her. Swimming, the same. Now please tell me this will pass... or am i just obsessed?! Totally normal. I've been exercising like mad - going out with friends quite a bit and yet she still invades my thoughts all day. I'm sure it will pass - but for each person that time is different depending on how long you were together, how things ended, if there is absolutely no hope etc. Hell, I even dream about her a lot.
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