Author mikal05 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 well heres the story as of today...she says she doesnt wanna be with me right now cuz i messed up. but she says she still wants to talk and txt as friends...she says as for us whatever happens in the future happens...idk is it safe to being friends or what?
vivrantflo Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 All I am saying is this is not common for women to jump into another man while they are dealing with pain from another relationship Yeah it is.. it's called rebounding.. and I've witnessed more than enough women do that. Trust me, I am very quick to jump to the conclusion that there is someone else is in the mix( you have seen my other posts, you know)....but I am also a very good judge of people. Yes, I enjoy your posts, you're always on point in all of them... I just think you're giving this girl too much credit.. especially at her age. She told the OP she wants space..time to herself...she wants months apart from him... months??? and then follows that up with this.... she says she doesnt wanna be with me right now cuz i messed up. but she says she still wants to talk and txt as friends...she says as for us whatever happens in the future happens In every situation that I've read on Loveshack, and I've seen women give those lines... future posts always reveal that another man of interest is there... so my recommendation is... No to friends if you still have romantic feelings towards her. It never, ever works out. Besides.. I can bet that within a month, she'll be dating someone else.. so unless you want front row seats to that, go NC. Let her sit in her decision to be away from you, and take this time here to detach from her, move on with your life, and find another woman
awkward Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 My money is on another guy. At least interest in another guy. Keep your eyes open just in case. If there isn't another guy, I'm sure it wont take her months to get back together with you. Good luck. Also, it is hard to move out of the friend zone to the relationship zone.
blind_otter Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 well heres the story as of today...she says she doesnt wanna be with me right now cuz i messed up. but she says she still wants to talk and txt as friends...she says as for us whatever happens in the future happens...idk is it safe to being friends or what? It depends. I doubt that you two would be able to be "just friends" so soon after the breakup. I would think that all the old feelings would just resurface after a couple of weeks, maybe less. I can understand why she's being wishy washy, actually, mikal. I'm the same way, when I really love someone but they did something that really betrayed my trust or hurt my feelings - I think to myself, well I HAVE to do something to make him realize how much he screwed up. If I just let it go - especially when he hurt me in a deep way - I feel like he won't realize what he did, and he'll just go and do it again. So I push/pull. Maybe not the healthiest thing to do, but that's what I do. I want so badly to stay together, but on the other hand, I know if I do - the same thing will happen all over again. And FWIW, I don't think there's another dude involved. But that's just my opinion.
porter218 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Yes, I enjoy your posts, you're always on point in all of them... I just think you're giving this girl too much credit.. especially at her age. She told the OP she wants space..time to herself...she wants months apart from him... months??? Normal, completely normal. I took 9 months to come back to my husband(only dated someone after the 7th month), I took a 6 month break from one ex(dated nobody), and took 3 month break from another ex(dated nobody). I have seen a lot of my friends do this when they are hurt. These are all men I went back to after months apart. And yes I was in touch with them during this time, still going out to lunch, calling everyday, I still cared I was just sorting out my feelings. Women do rebound but usually this happens when they are sure they don't want to go back, and most of the time they have had more time apart then the couple that we are talking about. And if her parents are like he says they are then I don't see her being the type of girl you are implying.
vivrantflo Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Normal, completely normal. I took 9 months to come back to my husband(only dated someone after the 7th month), I took a 6 month break from one ex(dated nobody), and took 3 month break from another ex(dated nobody). I think it would be a normal action to take, if the woman was mature, and made the decision based on the situation alone.. and not the other tempting outside possibilities. By the way, how old were you during each of those breakups?? And even if you were 18 in any of those decisions.. you'd be in the minority of women that IVE read about, that ask for space, and actually mean taking time for themselves.. Women do rebound but usually this happens when they are sure they don't want to go back Sounds like she's sure.. Post 31 -- i just talked to her and she said she doesnt know if shell take me back she cant say cuz shes never been like this like non forgiving...i guess shes never felt this way. Post 35 -- she said shes thinking of taking me back but it could be months??? Post 40 -- oh and also i even asked her...if its done 4 ever? are we just completeley giving up? and she just said she dont wanna answer that cuz she dont want to regret anything. Post 52 -- she says she doesnt wanna be with me right now cuz i messed up. but she says she still wants to talk and txt as friends...she says as for us whatever happens in the future happens Keep in mind, this is all coming from an 18 year old girl...
justaman99 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 well heres the story as of today...she says she doesnt wanna be with me right now cuz i messed up. but she says she still wants to talk and txt as friends...she says as for us whatever happens in the future happens...idk is it safe to being friends or what? The FRIEND bomb..... oh boy
Author mikal05 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 **** i dont even know anymore lol...but honestly whatever happens happens...if she deals with her emotions and gets back with me thatd be kool. but if she finds sumone else or justw ants to move on without me...i dont care...cuz really life is too short too be all stuck on one girl...even though it hurts to imagine not being with her...
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Why does everyone keep harping on age? Lying is wrong whether you're 18 or 60. If it's a pattern in the relationship, and she has any self-respect, she is allowed to, and indeed SHOULD break up with him for it. I, also, doubt there is another guy. There seems to be a lot of bitterness and cynicism harboured in this thread...
porter218 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I think it would be a normal action to take, if the woman was mature, and made the decision based on the situation alone.. and not the other tempting outside possibilities. By the way, how old were you during each of those breakups?? And even if you were 18 in any of those decisions.. you'd be in the minority of women that IVE read about, that ask for space, and actually mean taking time for themselves.. ... Most women I know would make this decision based on what the OP did. I know it is hard for you to understand because you have a different view of strippers and feel like nothing is wrong with what he did. But majority of women would lose their mind if their SO had strippers at their private residence and not even invite them over after the strippers left, in fact a lot of them would break up with their bf because of it. Whether you agree with her reason or not, most women feel this way. 18 or 48 this is how we process these kind of situations. I was 19 during the 6 month one. BTW, what do you think the difference in asking for space and taking time for themselves? That is the exact same thing, unless you meant something else but worded it wrong.
dazed.1 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 your GF is stupid. Get rid of her. You did nothing wrong. Its strange why she would break up with you over strippers. She's probably been looking for a reason to break up with you, either that or she's immature. Um stupid and immature is a bunch of guys ogling over some half naked women in HIS GIRLFRIEND"S and his house....then lying/hiding the truth from his girlfriend. I wouldn't hesitate to break from a guy for doing something like this...the thought of having some half naked women dancing around in MY house, while MY boyfriend watched...it would make me sick. OP you better beg and plead for her back...but I agree with you gf, it will be hard for her to trust you again. I know you were just "going along with the guys" on this one but maybe you should have worried about what your gf thought over what your guys thought. Just my opinion. d
Recommended Posts