kaymtei Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 So my husband of 2 years and I have decided to get a separation. He is in the Army. We started dating when we were 17 had a baby together at 19 and we had a good relationship just dating. then he decided that he wanted to support the family and joined the army at age of 20. His recruiter told us that we had to get married first if he wanted to still be in his daughters life, and be able to take care of us on his health and dental plan. So we got married with in the next 3 days. then he left right away and missed about the next 2 years of our daughters life. He was alone in the army with all of the other single men, going out on weekends and drinking and living the single bachelor life. then he comes home and we get stationed in NC (from MN) and us being married my daughter and i got with. we get a house on base. he has all of his buddies here. I know no one. i don't have a job, he took the car all day and i sat at home all day. So I got depressed. And i noticed changes in him. that i didn't find right for a family setting and we started to argue often. he had the military life where army came first over everything. and i have strong beliefs that family comes first over everything. So everything started to go down hill, or stop. i wasn't happy so he didn't get any and so on. Well i started to think of a separation and instead try marriage counseling to see if that will help. By this time my feelings for him have gone. i look at him as the father of my child, and a friend or a roommate. He stops wearing his wedding ring every day and so to say by the 3rd counseling appt we agree on separation. He admits he likes living alone and being by himself more then with his family. And i admit that i wasn't happy and didn't want to live with him and had already planned a trip to move out. We agreed on all of the property stuff. he wanted the tv and computer, i wanted our daughter and my bed. so the rest we are selling. So our relationship is done we have established that. we are still friends and he still wants to take care of us for now. NC has a rule of being separated for 1 year before divorce. he doesn't think he will want to get back together, and i dont want to either, but he wants to keep it at the separation so that my daughter and i are covered medically and stuff. well i am wondering what i need to know before i decide to go back out in the dating field. Can you date during a separation if there is no possibility for it to get back to a marriage? he will still be in NC and i will be in NY and then MN so its not like we would actually be seeing each other often or anytime at all. Is it alright for him if he finds someone that he wants to date to do that? if he's in the army and we are separated? I know that if it get serious dating and stuff that the papers would be signed thats fine but for now he has told me he has no interest in dating any one at all. Are there any legal rules i need to know? do we have to do anything on paper if we agreed to it and wont have anything anyways to argue over? please help me
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