Calisto Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I wouldn't fault a guy for that, especially in today's economy. If he happens to have a job in the same town where his parents live, why not? At that age, in their 20's, fine, but not at my age.
KinAZ Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Everyone has a different take on that. If the guy says he's living at home to save money, and he buys a boat (had that happen once)... something might be a little fishy. Personally, I think we've gotten too far away from traditional family structure anyway. The main question, I think would be, what PROBLEM there might be with him living at home. Do you think he's a mamas boy? Do you think he's unmotivated? Lazy? Confused? etc If there aren't other underlying issues such as, lack of movement forward in his life, or his mother has a kung fu grip on his life, I wouldn't see it to be a huge problem. Most people DO want to have that privacy, so I would compare it to everything else going on in his life.
MaxManwell Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Its stupid to live away from home when you can live with your parents. Women don't think about important financial things they just think about what color they'd like to the curtains to be, often that is but not always. Women mostly have their boyfriends (who are older and earn more) split bills and take on the majority of the financial burden when married or even when initially living together. When it comes time to buy a house the woman can depend on the man and not the other way around; so the women has no concept of having to prepare for a financial future in that way. So she will see no reason to to stay at home and save up in short she just won't understand as these are primarily man issues. That and females are not as punished for stupidity as males are therefore allowing female stupidity to proliferate while male stupidity is stamped out at a young age. Female stupidity continues for life. And when women get into debt they can pay it off by being whores, strippers and waitresses in sleazy establishments. Men don't have such easy outs so they have to financially prepare and be more responsible often involving lifestyle sacrifices such as; living at home instead of renting or buying that studio apartment. Allow women to call you a loser and save up to by your own place and set up financially. Then they will be too busy trying to get to your doodle once they see the $$$$$ you accumulated. Those same 'loser' guys in their late 20's will be those same 'financially stable' and 'goal orientated' guys women so desperately want to hammer drill their keyholes.
KinAZ Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Its stupid to live away from home when you can live with your parents. Women don't think about important financial things they just think about what color they'd like to the curtains to be, often that is but not always. Women mostly have their boyfriends (who are older and earn more) split bills and take on the majority of the financial burden when married or even when initially living together. When it comes time to buy a house the woman can depend on the man and not the other way around; so the women has no concept of having to prepare for a financial future in that way. So she will see no reason to to stay at home and save up in short she just won't understand as these are primarily man issues. That and females are not as punished for stupidity as males are therefore allowing female stupidity to proliferate while male stupidity is stamped out at a young age. Female stupidity continues for life. And when women get into debt they can pay it off by being whores, strippers and waitresses in sleazy establishments. Men don't have such easy outs so they have to financially prepare and be more responsible often involving lifestyle sacrifices such as; living at home instead of renting or buying that studio apartment. Allow women to call you a loser and save up to by your own place and set up financially. Then they will be too busy trying to get to your doodle once they see the $$$$$ you accumulated. Those same 'loser' guys in their late 20's will be those same 'financially stable' and 'goal orientated' guys women so desperately want to hammer drill their keyholes. LMAO! I'll pretend you said all of that for shock value, and say, that aside from your sexist remarks you do have a point. PEOPLE, not just women, but PLENTY of men often over look the value of saving for the future. They don't want to stop working to go back to school because they don't want to lose that bit of independence and financial freedom, even if they're just making little more than minimum wage (and still living at home). And yes, that goes for male and female alike. I would also like to point out that men don't always make more. While my parents are divorced and my father used to make more than my mother, my mother now makes FAR more than my father does, AND she has more education as well. More savings, more everything. It's less about gender and more about how one was raised. These days, it seems like my generation was so generally spoiled that they DON'T want to make the sacrifices that they should, as often as they should, for future stability. Almost everyone who rushed out of the house soon after high school or college, that I know, had to move back home at some point. Whether it was to save, because they were laid off and had nothing to fall back on, or got a taste of the real world and realized that higher education (whether a BA or MA) was necessarily. So, yeah... you have a point, but there's no need to be sexist about it. There are men out there today who feel the SAME way about women who live with their parents. It doesn't matter if their trying to save, or trying to finish school, but whether or not they meet certain... social standards.
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Nothing forces a person to mature faster, than moving away from Mommy and Daddy.
endlesstrains Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Its stupid to live away from home when you can live with your parents. Women don't think about important financial things they just think about what color they'd like to the curtains to be, often that is but not always. Women mostly have their boyfriends (who are older and earn more) split bills and take on the majority of the financial burden when married or even when initially living together. When it comes time to buy a house the woman can depend on the man and not the other way around; so the women has no concept of having to prepare for a financial future in that way. So she will see no reason to to stay at home and save up in short she just won't understand as these are primarily man issues. That and females are not as punished for stupidity as males are therefore allowing female stupidity to proliferate while male stupidity is stamped out at a young age. Female stupidity continues for life. And when women get into debt they can pay it off by being whores, strippers and waitresses in sleazy establishments. Men don't have such easy outs so they have to financially prepare and be more responsible often involving lifestyle sacrifices such as; living at home instead of renting or buying that studio apartment. Allow women to call you a loser and save up to by your own place and set up financially. Then they will be too busy trying to get to your doodle once they see the $$$$$ you accumulated. Those same 'loser' guys in their late 20's will be those same 'financially stable' and 'goal orientated' guys women so desperately want to hammer drill their keyholes. Ok, who left open the door to the 1940s?
carhill Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Well, I won't be as harsh as MM, but I personally have never dated or been married to a woman who owned her own home and I'm pushing 50. That said, I've encouraged and helped every woman I've known in my life (and I have considerable skills in those areas of real estate and construction) to make that important step in personal and financial independence. I'm doing it right now for my wife, even if just a rental property for her. I think it's fine to live at home as an adult, as long as one has a plan for personal and financial independence. I did so, with my parent's full support, until I bought my first house when I was 24. I worked and paid rent and did chores at their house, just like I had ever since quitting college to go to work. I would counsel the OP to look at the entirety of the man, not just any one aspect. In making the "jump" away from home, timing is critical. It's like capitalizing a business; if done incorrectly or mis-timed, the business will fail (and the guy/girl goes upside down and moves back home with mommy and daddy). Watch for actions which indicate knowledge of and planning for his financial future, as well as actions showing his desire for independence. Those are the crucial ones, IMO. Editorially, I find it very interesting how ingrained "security" is in the female psyche. Even with college educations and an overwhelming majority of women in the workforce, often making far more money than men, they're still considering such antiquated things as indicators of a desirable male. I hope, in a few more generations, women will look back and laugh about all the angst and importance they attached to males and money. Evolution
MaxManwell Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I'd love to have a girlfriend who lived at home there would be something strangely erotic about looking at her father with the 'yep I'm taping that' look. Or perhaps I am just a natural antagonist. I am sure I could give mother the ' so that is where she gets it from' look. That is one of the reasons I'm looking forward to having a girlfriend for that reason, actually I think it would be fantastic to check out her mother.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Ok, who left open the door to the 1940s? :lmao::lmao::lmao: Well I remember the 1940s houses were cheap back then.
MaxManwell Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Editorially, I find it very interesting how ingrained "security" is in the female psyche. Even with college educations and an overwhelming majority of women in the workforce, often making far more money than men, they're still considering such antiquated things as indicators of a desirable male. I hope, in a few more generations, women will look back and laugh about all the angst and importance they attached to males and money. Evolution Won't happen there will just be a whole lot of single people.
KinAZ Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Nothing forces a person to mature faster, than moving away from Mommy and Daddy. I have to agree with this as well. At the same time, just because someone currently lives with their parents doesn't mean that they never left home. If a guy NEVER moved out once, I might wonder why. Not so say that there's anything wrong with it directly, but I think we were all itching to get out of the house as soon as we were old enough.
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Editorially, I find it very interesting how ingrained "security" is in the female psyche. Even with college educations and an overwhelming majority of women in the workforce, often making far more money than men, they're still considering such antiquated things as indicators of a desirable male. I hope, in a few more generations, women will look back and laugh about all the angst and importance they attached to males and money. Evolution It's not an evolutionary process of security for me. It's an indicator of drive and application of ability. If a man is an underachiever, I would run roughshod over him. Drive for drive, will for will.
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I have to agree with this as well. At the same time, just because someone currently lives with their parents doesn't mean that they never left home. If a guy NEVER moved out once, I might wonder why. Not so say that there's anything wrong with it directly, but I think we were all itching to get out of the house as soon as we were old enough. If a person has enough drive and financial savvy, they won't ever get themselves into the position of having to move back home. No matter what your income, if you live within or less than your means, there's always room for savings.
Jilly Bean Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I left at 18, moved overseas on my own when I was 19, and never lived with my folks again. And we have a great relationship and are very close, so it wasn't like I hated living with them. So, I guess because I've always been so independent, it's a turn-off if a guy in past 22 and living at home. Just seems lazy and kinda stunted to me.
MaxManwell Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 The other contributing factor is that under the age of 25 in todays world women just flat out have an easier time earning enough money to move out. They earn so much more for similar work and are basically more employable. Obviously if the guy has a trade he will have more money at a younger age as he should because it takes a lot of hard work. Similarly men with technical qualifications such as engineering and IT that women do not have will earn more. A women with the same skills still earns more. I'd say up until the age of about 35 women probably have much better opportunities. Beyond that age I think discrimination against women would still be offsetting the effects of reverse discrimination. Truly it is laughable how women deny they have it better especially under the age of 25, truly and utterly laughable.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Maybe buying the civic would have been the deal breaker in the relationship!? Not the fact he was 36 and living at home. It's possible... Man look at this Escalade: 40,000-60,000$!!!!? Honda Civic: Less than 20,000$ Come on now!
blind_otter Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 A man living at home with his parents has always been an immediate deal-breaker for me. Just my opinion.
KinAZ Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 If a person has enough drive and financial savvy, they won't ever get themselves into the position of having to move back home. No matter what your income, if you live within or less than your means, there's always room for savings. LOL, believe it or not, there are always things that can come up in life which would make it BETTER to go back home. Not to say that it's the only option, but sometimes, yes... it is the easiest one. And for some people yes, aside from turn to a life of crime, it is the only option, if they REALLY want to get ahead. I'm not speaking from mere assumptions about other people's lives, but the things I've watched people go through. Whether it was because they had to help out their families, or who knows what else, people have situations that you can't always judge from the outside. And no, they don't always tell you about them. Everyone's experiences in life are different. Some came up with different advantages that others. Some were more sheltered than others. Some have more burdens or responsibilities than others. If it's not your thing, then it's not your thing, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you can't pretend to understand a man's entire life and situation based on the fact that he lives at home for the time being.
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 LOL, believe it or not, there are always things that can come up in life which would make it BETTER to go back home. Not to say that it's the only option, but sometimes, yes... it is the easiest one. And for some people yes, aside from turn to a life of crime, it is the only option, if they REALLY want to get ahead. I'm not speaking from mere assumptions about other people's lives, but the things I've watched people go through. Whether it was because they had to help out their families, or who knows what else, people have situations that you can't always judge from the outside. And no, they don't always tell you about them. Everyone's experiences in life are different. Some came up with different advantages that others. Some were more sheltered than others. Some have more burdens or responsibilities than others. If it's not your thing, then it's not your thing, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you can't pretend to understand a man's entire life and situation based on the fact that he lives at home for the time being. True to the bolded part but I do have a choice to date him or not. Personal preference.
electric_sheep Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 One thing that is interesting to consider... the stigma associated with living at home is almost uniquely American. In most parts of the world (even in Europe), a typical family dwelling will have 3 or 4 generations occupying it. Indeed, in many parts of the world, the stigma is reversed. It is considered wasteful, "liberal", and disrespectful to your parents to want to live in your own house. Women are expected to live at home until they are married, no matter how old they are. A man and his new wife will typically move into one of their families houses after getting married. We attach a great deal of importance to this idea of "independence" in America, and I'm not sure it hasn't come without a cost. I for one moved completely across the country from my friends and family, and didn't even give it much consideration. I have a couple of Spanish friends that were completely astounded by this when I told them. The idea of moving so far away from their family and where they grew up was just completely alien to them. I'm actually sort of an extreme example of this aspect of America. I honestly wouldn't have been able to recognize any of my grandparents or aunt's or uncles if they walked right up to me and shook my hand. Most of them I haven't seen in almost 30 years, and I didn't attend any of their funerals. I was born in Dallas but my parents moved far away when I was 7, and I've only been back once in the last 30 years. My mom hasn't seen her brother in over 20 years. Certainly there are some good aspects of independence, but I think we as Americans have become disconnected from family to an alarming degree. A lot of us have lost not only family, but any sense of "tribe" or community as well. I think we have become quite neurotic in the process. So, when ever you see someone who is not living up to the societal "norm", it's important to ask yourself honestly... perhaps they are onto something here? Could it be that it's the "norm" that is actually the problem? I'm not saying it is... I'm just saying, it's something to consider.
carhill Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 It's not an evolutionary process of security for me. It's an indicator of drive and application of ability. If a man is an underachiever, I would run roughshod over him. Drive for drive, will for will. So, if your mother was a SAHM, would you consider her an "under-achiever"? What if the reverse were true, say your mother was a doctor and your dad was a SAHD who managed the family finances and ran the house so your mother could pursue her career? Would dad be an "under-achiever"? Why? Flawed logic, supporting the expression of an antiquated genetic predisposition.
blind_otter Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 So, if your mother was a SAHM, would you consider her an "under-achiever"? What if the reverse were true, say your mother was a doctor and your dad was a SAHD who managed the family finances and ran the house so your mother could pursue her career? Would dad be an "under-achiever"? Why? Are you insinuating that being a SAHP is comparable to living at home with your parents because it's cheaper? I don't get the association between the two scenarios, so please explain. I don't see what parenting at home has to do with returning home as an adult to live off your parents?
KinAZ Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I think it had something to do with "drive and application of ability"... And just because someone is living at home with their parents doesn't mean they're living off of their parents. You know?
blind_otter Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I think it had something to do with "drive and application of ability"... And just because someone is living at home with their parents doesn't mean they're living off of their parents. You know? So is this comment insinuating that SAHP lack drive and application of ability? Because if this is what carhill means, I think that utter poppycock. SAHP work their asses off every day, 24 hours a day. They get no breaks, no holidays, no time off. It's really hard to be a SAHP - but people who have no children would likely not be aware of how difficult it truely is.
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