sid3 Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Yep, I went to visit with her today. Actually she called me this morning and asked when I was coming. I really do believe she missed me and knows that I was right in not tolerating her flakey behavior(she is much younger than me)N/c did give her the time to miss me, but just as importantly it also gave me a chance to realise the mistakes I made. We didn't speak very much about the R. I think I've read on these forums that it's usually a good idea not to right away. I'm not entirely sure where things are headed. So many people here will say never give someone a second chance, but I think there is some validity in the idea of taking things slow. In the past I had begged and pleaded with my other exes, this is the first time I made no effort and just tried to move on. And this is the only time an ex came back. Go figure. Had she not intiated contact with an apology I wouldn't have replied. Somehow I think she knew that.
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I'm pleased for you. Sounds quite positive. I think you're right, let her bring up the relationship. Keep guarded, trust you're instincts and keep taking things slowly. I don't think all second chances are doomed. You say you've thought about what went wrong, hopefully you have solutions for those observations and are prepared to really work at making a better relationship. That's all you can do, the rest is up to her. It is a risk, you could get hurt again, but there is only one way to find out. The choice is yours.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I'm happy for you sid. Even if it doesn't work out in the end it sounds like you both care enough to make a sincere effort. You've both put away pride and put your relationship first. That is a big step. Good luck.
Author sid3 Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 That's true. Seeing there was no cheating invovled, I am willing to see where it goes. Meeting someone entirely new poses the same risk as getting back with an ex.
iwish Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Well done sid, play it cool. Treat it like it's someone new and have fun.
Author sid3 Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 That is exactly what I am going to do. I am at least 50% to blame for the bad in the R. To me, she is someone new, we never got to the comfortable stage, so that is not the reason I am going back. I am not thinking about who has the upper hand, as long as it is a level playing field it's all good. She came back wanting to work on what was wrong. Things never got ugly, in fact, I've always treated her with the utmost respect. I agree with the others who have posted that it was brave of her to have even called, she risked rejection, put aside her pride. I couldn't say no to that. I was only able to stick to the n/c because of the support and stories of everyone here.. if it doesn't work out, then I'll know it wasn't ment to be.
BillClam Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Happy and jealous for/of you! Good job man, I finall got a write back from the ex as well, but I can see she's just not going to be coming to equal terms anytime soon, if at all. But good luck! It's awesome how you applied some great learning experiences to this one (I wish I had those!)
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