megapositive Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 This is my story: he is an angry guy, he throws things at other drivers when they make him angry, he gets mad at friends and co-workers when he feels slighted and says he doesn't need them, he'll get a new job... then after a few days he forgets about it and is all right again. He does the same to me, he gets angry and defensive about nothing, blows up, and won't talk to me for a few days, then is ok, and comes back. Basically he is a drama queen. I have to walk on eggshells. Is this healthy? What do I do? I'm thinking of breaking up, but I do love him very much. Not just "in love," but I love him and care for him. Help!
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 He could very well have borderline personality disorder. Some people are just sensitive, though. Before you break up with him, you should talk to him first; ask him if he knows he does this and why he thinks he does it. Basically, instead of asking US, you should be asking HIM. Communication really is one of the most important features of any relationship.
df273 Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 i agree. if you can't "talk" to him for some reason, write him a letter or something. be honest with him and be honest with yourself. don't let it get into an arguement or anything. talk to him nice and calm. then give it a little time and see where it goes.
bish Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 This is my story: he is an angry guy, he throws things at other drivers when they make him angry, he gets mad at friends and co-workers when he feels slighted and says he doesn't need them, he'll get a new job... then after a few days he forgets about it and is all right again. He does the same to me, he gets angry and defensive about nothing, blows up, and won't talk to me for a few days, then is ok, and comes back. Basically he is a drama queen. I have to walk on eggshells. Is this healthy? What do I do? I'm thinking of breaking up, but I do love him very much. Not just "in love," but I love him and care for him. Help! It means he is not at peace with himself and with life. It means he doesn't enjoy life. I use to be like that....the road rage guy...gets upset over the littlest things. And even though I get a little miffed at the people here that don't care who they hurt, IRL I take deep breaths, my last girlfriend said she never dated a guy who just blew things off that would make any other guy red in the face. So when I was like what you described your bf(i assume he is your bf), it was because life sucked and everything got on my nerves.
Author megapositive Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 He also looks online for women when he gets mad at me, signing up for free dating/sex sites, and looks for a quick fix. I overlook this, time and again. But should I? I'm so confused!
kizik Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 You're co-dependent, sick. I would guess you have been abused at some point in your life. It's not enough for me to tell you to leave him, b/c I fear you won't listen - you need therapy, and soon.
justaman99 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 This is my story: he is an angry guy, he throws things at other drivers when they make him angry, he gets mad at friends and co-workers when he feels slighted and says he doesn't need them, he'll get a new job... then after a few days he forgets about it and is all right again. He does the same to me, he gets angry and defensive about nothing, blows up, and won't talk to me for a few days, then is ok, and comes back. Basically he is a drama queen. I have to walk on eggshells. Is this healthy? What do I do? I'm thinking of breaking up, but I do love him very much. Not just "in love," but I love him and care for him. Help! My ex gf was like this and I in some ways was like this. She would get upset at random times for the strangest things. I even told her I was walking on eggshells. She didn't understand what I was saying and chose to ignore it. i just think she wasn't happy inside no matter what. She had to work on herself and your guy needs to do the same. I would try to talk to him calmly. Sit him down, tell him to be quiet while you say what's on your mind. Try and not be too accusatory just tell him what is bothering you. I used to let road rage get to me, people would annoy me easily at work or whenever, and I would get upset over the dumbest things. I lost myself. I blame that behavior on things that were going on in my life that I couldn't control. Very bad things with my family and I dealt with it by being angry and not getting help. I knew I wasn't happy inside and I chose NOT to deal with it. I didn't know how. Things have settled down and I have learned from that experience to take control and treat people well regardless of the challenges we all have in life. I suggest giving him a chance and if he chooses to continue doing what he's doing that there is no place for him in your life.
Trialbyfire Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Both of you have issues. You for putting up with his crap and him for dishing it out. He needs some form of therapy, for certain anger management but this online revenge cheating when he's mad at you, is petty and screams of a serious lack of self-esteem/selfishness for himself and an utter lack of respect for you. Do yourself a favour and walk away from this loser. I suspect you're both pretty young so the sooner you do this, the sooner you'll find someone who can appreciate what you have to offer.
Author megapositive Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 Yes, his anger is problematic, and now I'm wondering if he's being incredibly passive-aggressive too.... I looked up a sex/dating site that I know he used to be on, and there he was. Plus one of the pics he posted was of me and him! He has TONS of pics of himself doing all sorts of things, why did he pick this one? He blocked my face out of course. I just don't know what to think, the pic isn't all that great of him, either, so I'm confused as to why he picked it. What do you think?
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