MattUK Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Hey, My first post on this forum, but I really need somewhere to ask some questions. I'll try to keep it short. I have been sort of seeing this girl recently. I have known her since high school, but until bumping into her in a club earlier this year, I hadnt seen her for at least 3 years. If that makes sense. We both went to different colleges. When we met again she was seeing this guy sort of on and off who she eventually broke up with about 2 weeks ago. Since then she has to my knowledge shown an interest in me. She put her number in my phone after asking my friends for me number in this club. She then started texting me just asking to meet up with her at her college the next day and later on in the week. I went each time and nothing 'happend' as she was with her friends, but I decided that because I like her, a lot, that I would take it slow. Try and see what she wants and not be forward with her at all. So thats what I have been doing. The last time we met up was with some of her friends and we later went back someones house. Because it was late she asked if I was going to stay over so I did and we slept in the same bed. Again, nothing happened, but she spent the whole time hugging me and snuggling. I had to leave early in the morning the next day, but she text me saying thanks for meeting her and it was nice. I was thinking, so far so good until last night. We had arranged to meet and go out on Monday night with our friends. I first met up with her in a bar and it was going great. She was flirting alot, lots of eye contact and body contact. Like I said, I really like this girl and didnt want to ruin anything so I was just taking things slow and thinking she wanted to do the same. Later on that night though when we got to this club, everything seemed to change. She walked off from me straight away and was flirting with other guys right in front of me. The rest of the night was like this apart from her occasionally and quite randomly coming over to me and kissing me on the cheek or something. All this just completely threw me off and to top it off, she sat down right by me and started texting other guys. Its like everything was going perfectly before we got into this club and almost like flicking a switch she was off and different. I started talking to one of my mates about this and he ended up talking to her about it. He said something like 'Matt thinks you are messing him around' and she said she thinks im hot, but she has only just got out of a relationship. Now I can respect that, but it just confuses the hell out of me as she has made all the moves then turns around and says that. Normally this wouldnt bother me so much, but im really falling for this girl and I have no idea at all where I stand or if she even feels anything like I do. Up until last night I thought she felt the same way I do, but obviously not. Sorry about such a long post. If anyone can understand what I written and can give some help/advice, please do. I dont normally go onto forums like this, but I need somewhere to talk about this with people who I dont know. Who arent related to the situation. I just want to know if anyone thinks she actually likes me or not? I know that usually the 'just got out of a relationship' line means a big no no, but her saying that just really didnt make sense to me. Like I said, she was like a switch. All full on interested making all the moves then when things get good she goes and talks to other guys in front of me. Man, I could go on for ages. Once again, sorry for a long and probably confusing post. Thanks.
Jokerman Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Hi Matt, doesn't sound to bad for the beginning. Maybe she is just panicing a bit right now, if I was you I would try see what happens if you take her to another place, another time.. if she is still "switched". Couldn't it be anything the club you went to triggered in her? Like sort of a memory that came back to her? Probably I'm not the right person to say that, but I wouldn't overrate that if it only happens once, if it happens repeatedly, if she starts switching forth and back, that should rather make you worry. And if it feels that awkward furhter on, why not just pick up on it if you have the chance for a walk or so? "Hey, you know I feel like there was something a bit awkward between us recently.." - not sure whether that's too risky though, could scare her off as it is relatively pushing.. Good luck
I am who I am Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I went each time and nothing 'happend' as she was with her friends, but I decided that because I like her, a lot, that I would take it slow. we slept in the same bed. Again, nothing happened, but she spent the whole time hugging me and snuggling. so I was just taking things slow and thinking she wanted to do the same. And there is your problem. She isn't messing with you. You have not shown her any interest. If anything, she is confused about your intentions, and instead of waiting around for you to make your move, she is slowly pulling away to find someone that will give her the attention she seeks. You will quickly find yourself in the "friend-zone", and she will be dating another guy, if you "keep taking it slow". She will not wait on you forever. Man up and show this girl you like her. DON'T TELL HER... SHOW HER! Your actions speak louder than words. Why are you so scared to show this girl you like her?
I am who I am Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 "Hey, you know I feel like there was something a bit awkward between us recently.." You do this, and you will have just ended your relationship before it even started. Oh, and her flirting with others at the club goes back to what I said originally... adding in, that maybe, just maybe, she is trying to make you a bit jealous. She is showing (telling you really) that you better make your move soon, or she will be gone. And on more thing... If you find yourself out with her and her friends, simply isolate her from the group. Get her on the dance floor, pull her up to the bar, go outside, etc.
Jokerman Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 You do this, and you will have just ended your relationship before it even started. As I think of it, that's totally correct. Don't do that, it's a stupid idea. I agree you might have to show her what's on..
Sothas Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 From what it sounds like, she was testing the waters with all the body contact, hugging, snuggling, etc. when you went to see her but you didn't respond to it. So possibly she was trying to see what your reaction would be if she flirted with other guys when you were around. I agree with the other posters, take a chance, show her how you feel. -Sothas
Author MattUK Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 Thanks for the posts guys. I appreciate the help. Sometimes in these situations its really easy to get confused. Probably trying too hard not to be pushy and in turn going the other way and probably coming off as if im not interested. We havent spoken since though so maybe she is waiting for me to call/text her? To show im interested? I really dont know, haha. I tried so hard to do this right and managed to mess it up. lol. The main thing that gets me is the whole 'just got out of a relationship' thing. I mean, what was all this about if she didnt want to go anywhere? Arrrrg...... I hate this.
Keridan Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Hehe ... I know exactly how you feel. But the other posters are right, you have to make a move. You are doing the gentleman thing and it's going to bite you right in the butt. Text her and say you want to hang out just the two of you. Flirt like mad, then kiss her. She is into you or you wouldn't have been in her bed already. Just stop waiting for her and make a move yourself. Good luck!
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