irinaimisha Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Hi I just got married barely 3 weeks ago after a 3 and a half year relationship with the lucky man we didn't live together until after marriage but we did have a very satisfying sexual life. well now it always feels like i am FORCING my new husband into doing it. and when we do its mostly me doing the work and he just lays there enjoying the view and not giving me any extra pleasure. I do not know what is going on!!! There are times that i get dressed up in my lingere and he just looks at me and goes eh... like NOTHING. and then i go to bed depressed. i mean i know he is in working condition and he does playful things like grabbing a boob or butt- and he gets hard ons through out the day. what do i do??????? i mentioned it to him and he just i am a little too obsessed with sex!!!!!!! aren't we both supposed to be after marriage and being newlyweds and all?????? i know i want to get it on.
Walk Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I'd guess it has more to do with the added stress of the new living arrangements, along with adjusting to the new title... Ball and Chain. Personally, sounds to me like his body is good to go for sex, but his mind is having problems letting go of the stressors going on around him. And it is stressful when you first officially move in with your partner. Maybe you would have better results if you appealed more to his desire through his brain, rather then visually. Possibly cuddle up with him and read erotic lit out loud or describe to him all the fun and wonderful things you'll do to him. Congrats on the marriage!
trust Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Hi I just got married barely 3 weeks ago after a 3 and a half year relationship with the lucky man we didn't live together until after marriage but we did have a very satisfying sexual life. well now it always feels like i am FORCING my new husband into doing it. and when we do its mostly me doing the work and he just lays there enjoying the view and not giving me any extra pleasure. I do not know what is going on!!! There are times that i get dressed up in my lingere and he just looks at me and goes eh... like NOTHING. and then i go to bed depressed. i mean i know he is in working condition and he does playful things like grabbing a boob or butt- and he gets hard ons through out the day. what do i do??????? i mentioned it to him and he just i am a little too obsessed with sex!!!!!!! aren't we both supposed to be after marriage and being newlyweds and all?????? i know i want to get it on. Hi irinaimisha: Welcome to the forum. Hmmm....typically, if you held out a lot prior to marriage, sex is pretty full force at least for the first 6 months or so...just long enough for the newness to wear off. For many, it does become a chore. I would persuade him to go to a sex counselor with you as soon as possible. Time is on your side. Don't let this problem snowball by taking a non aggressive approach. You need a professional to sit down with both of you, so he/she can read your body language, see your expressions, your tone, both sides of the story, etc. Much of which people on this forum won't ever be able to see. We can only tell you how our experiences were similar or dissimilar. Any assumptions based on that information would be just that; assumptions.
inloveandhurt Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 That is really weird..eliminate these factors 1. homosexuality 2. other woman 3. porn addiction so you know it's not yourself. but the fact that you had an awesome sex life before makes me think it's just the new stress of marriage. maybe he needs some space...like he was probably used to his own apartment...so go out with your friends, do what u like. and show your affection for him in a more subtle way. you don't have to have all-out sex, even a tight hug can be nice.
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