Mike12 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Hey, This is my first post here as I only just found the place. I've been going steady with a girl for half a year but don't like some of her friends and they think I'm gay. I really love my girlfriend, we have great conversation and amazing sex but because I seem a little stereotypically gay (i like foreign cinema and corture labels, sex and the city, desperate housewives, pretty woman etc. interior decorating...) and i'm quite extroverted. most of my friends are gay or women and one night she came home, i was sitting drinking serpis absinth by myself watching desperate housewives, with my nails painted red. she'd just been out with her friends and she asked me if i had had any gay experiences, which i had a few of at school/college/uni etc. but it annoys me a lot that her friends think i'm gay just because i have a few traits. it's just that i like boxing as well, and other 'manly' stuff, i'm just comfortable with who i am and yeah, i might have had experiences with guys but i love my girlfriend more than any of that.
Keridan Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Teach them the phrase metrosexual If you are really okay with who you are, then you got no worries. Tell your gf that if you were gay, you wouldn't be having sex with her. Assure her that you don't question your sexuality, you just experimented when you were younger. Chances are she did too. Even if her experiences weren't girl/girl, I doubt she was a total prude in her younger times. Don't worry about the friends. There really is nothing you can do there. They are buttheads and will likely always be that way. Concern yourself with the woman you love. Wish I could be more help
Jilly Bean Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 she asked me if i had had any gay experiences, which i had a few of at school/college/uni etc. Um, having sex with men makes you gay, hon.
BrooklynBridge Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Um, having sex with men makes you gay, hon. Exactly. Does she not tell her friends that you two have 'amazing' sex together?? Why not point out that fact to these girls that you enjoy having sex with women and if they don't believe they are welcome to watch, or for you to have sex with them as well...........
Shygirl15 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 most of my friends are gay or women .... .....she asked me if i had had any gay experiences, which i had a few of at school/college/uni etc... .....and yeah, i might have had experiences with guys but i love my girlfriend more than any of that. Sorry, but I also believe there's some gayish elements in you..
Author Mike12 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Sorry, but I also believe there's some gayish elements in you.. i agree with you, i'm totally cool with that, but it's the idea that even if i was bisexual - which would be a fair opinion - that i would want to be in a relationship with a man or do anything with a man while i'm with her. Um, having sex with men makes you gay, hon. i don't know, probably, i know it's good because i remember when i was inexperienced what 'bad' was like. Exactly. Does she not tell her friends that you two have 'amazing' sex together?? Why not point out that fact to these girls that you enjoy having sex with women and if they don't believe they are welcome to watch, or for you to have sex with them as well........... not really, they were things in my last year of school, the years in between and then a few at university, as soon as i left that environment i only dated women Teach them the phrase metrosexual If you are really okay with who you are, then you got no worries. Tell your gf that if you were gay, you wouldn't be having sex with her. Assure her that you don't question your sexuality, you just experimented when you were younger. Chances are she did too. Even if her experiences weren't girl/girl, I doubt she was a total prude in her younger times. no, she told me that she had things with girls when she was younger (she's 21, i'm 24) but i don't know the rules as to how detailed i can be here, anyway she claimed it was just to get a reaction out of people which i don't really buy, i think she was just experimenting.
Keridan Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I think you could probably be classified as bi-curious from what you say. She might have been curious, but made a decision. The thing is ... it doesn't matter. Are you planning to sneak around with other guys? Do you love her? Does the fact that you've experimented mean you can't go back to women? Bear in mind, I have a lot of bi/gay friends and family, but I've never questioned or experimented myself. I can't speak from personal experience. However, I know many guys who have done everything you said and have the same interests as you that consider themselves straight now. It's about who you are CURRENTLY with, not what you've done before them.
Cov Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 You're a Gay Straight Male, a new kinda male, a male that embraces femininity in all its glory. Don#t be shamed to cross dress, paint your nails and sleep with me. I am much like you, except I haven't had any gay experiences with men, but I have fantasized about it, no end! Be proud of who you are and let me let you in a small fact, Romans and Greeks used to indulge in homosexual sex frequently, soldiers would do so in the baths and after battles. Hetrosexuality was used to build their civilizations, and not used for sexual experience.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Have you heard of the Kinsey scale? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale I believe that most people are not 100% straight or 100% gay. I'm probably a 1 myself. It sounds like it would be helpful for you to be truthful about your orientation (you might have to figure that out yourself) with your girlfriend, just so you both know exactly where you stand.
endlesstrains Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Um, having sex with men makes you gay, hon. Having sex with anyone doesn't make you anything. Being attracted to only males makes you gay. Being attracted to only women makes you straight. Being somewhere inbetween-- where it seems that the OP is-- makes you bisexual or bicurious. Pretty simple...
jimbo Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I guess you can say it depends on what you did. Anal or oral, chances are your leaning towards the gayish side I would think. Watching DH, Sex in the City, Pretty Women, not very much. Painting your nails red... ??? The clothes and stuff = metrosexual. But don't worry about what others think.. It depends on what you and your partner thinks.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 You could be bi and metro at the same time. But if your preferences are women then it doesn't necessary make you gay. But based on your behaviour I think you make a great girlfriend, rather than a boyfriend.
MalachiX Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Hey, most of my friends are gay or women and one night she came home, i was sitting drinking serpis absinth by myself watching desperate housewives, with my nails painted red. she'd just been out with her friends and she asked me if i had had any gay experiences, which i had a few of at school/college/uni etc. Dude, as one guy to another, you're really not helping your case for "not-being-gay." I'm as liberal as they come and don't mean this in a judgemental way, but that sounds pretty damn gay to me. I think perhaps you may want to awknowlage the possability that you're at least bi-sexual. Anyway, I really don't see the issue. I get used to get mistaken for gay a lot in college. It wasn't because I painted my nails, watched Sex in the City, or had sex with guys. It was because I was in the south, was interested in the arts, and spoke well (not to mention I have a boyish face). Did it piss me off? Sure. But it ticked me off because I was doing poorly enough with the ladies and didn't want yet another handicap. Recently, a girl I knew asked me if I was gay (still don't know what prompted it). It annoyed me not because I have a huge ego as far as my sexuality goes (quite the opposite) but because she was hot and I figured, "there's another one that ain't gonna happen). Well, I told her I wasn't, teased her because she thought I was the following night, and we ended up making out for a while. Now I don't really care what she once thought since I'm curious to see if this goes anywhere (she certainly doesn't think I'm gay now). I guess my point is (and I realize I'm taking forever to get to it since I talk too much about myself, another "gay" thing), if this girl loves you and still wants to be with you then what does it matter? You're not trying to get with her friends are you so all that should be on your plate is what she thinks. And if she's a bit worried don't blame her. Painting your nails, watching Desperate House-wives, and having had sex with dudes is more than a little gay. She's probably be a lot more at ease if you admitted you might be bi-curious or a little gay because then she wouldn't think you're in denial and you're going run off with some guy named Bruce in a few months.
Cov Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Dude, as one guy to another, you're really not helping your case for "not-being-gay." I'm as liberal as they come and don't mean this in a judgemental way, but that sounds pretty damn gay to me. I think perhaps you may want to awknowlage the possability that you're at least bi-sexual. Anyway, I really don't see the issue. I get used to get mistaken for gay a lot in college. It wasn't because I painted my nails, watched Sex in the City, or had sex with guys. It was because I was in the south, was interested in the arts, and spoke well (not to mention I have a boyish face). Did it piss me off? Sure. But it ticked me off because I was doing poorly enough with the ladies and didn't want yet another handicap. Recently, a girl I knew asked me if I was gay (still don't know what prompted it). It annoyed me not because I have a huge ego as far as my sexuality goes (quite the opposite) but because she was hot and I figured, "there's another one that ain't gonna happen). Well, I told her I wasn't, teased her because she thought I was the following night, and we ended up making out for a while. Now I don't really care what she once thought since I'm curious to see if this goes anywhere (she certainly doesn't think I'm gay now). I guess my point is (and I realize I'm taking forever to get to it since I talk too much about myself, another "gay" thing), if this girl loves you and still wants to be with you then what does it matter? You're not trying to get with her friends are you so all that should be on your plate is what she thinks. And if she's a bit worried don't blame her. Painting your nails, watching Desperate House-wives, and having had sex with dudes is more than a little gay. She's probably be a lot more at ease if you admitted you might be bi-curious or a little gay because then she wouldn't think you're in denial and you're going run off with some guy named Bruce in a few months. You're Liberal? I'd have never guessed after reading your intolerance towards 'emo's and airheads' (fantastic name for a band btw). How can you be a bit gay, you are either gay, straight or bisexual. He is more than likely bi-curious again, that doesn't make him gay, the chances are in a few years time he'll find out for himself if he is indeed straight or gay. At the moment he is a straight man because he is with a woman, regardless of his past.
Krytie TV Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Um, having sex with men makes you gay, hon. Not true, it can be experimentation. To the OP, I understand your plight. The same has been said to me, though not in a long time. At least with you it's people you don'tknow. I've had friends of many years ask me if I was guy when I was in my mid to late 20's. It's no big thing. What they think doesn't affect who you are. And if it affects what your gf thinks, that's her deal.
Author Mike12 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 I guess you can say it depends on what you did. Anal or oral, chances are your leaning towards the gayish side I would think. Watching DH, Sex in the City, Pretty Women, not very much. Painting your nails red... ??? The clothes and stuff = metrosexual. But don't worry about what others think.. It depends on what you and your partner thinks. Those two happen to be my favourites but I'm not really discounting anything. Nothing wrong with painting nails red though, it's just fun and i have a fetish for girls with long red painted fingernails that i can't really trace back to anything. But based on your behaviour I think you make a great girlfriend, rather than a boyfriend. Ha i sort of agree with you but i have a masculine side as well. Recently, a girl I knew asked me if I was gay (still don't know what prompted it). It annoyed me not because I have a huge ego as far as my sexuality goes (quite the opposite) but because she was hot and I figured, "there's another one that ain't gonna happen). Well, I told her I wasn't, teased her because she thought I was the following night, and we ended up making out for a while. Now I don't really care what she once thought since I'm curious to see if this goes anywhere (she certainly doesn't think I'm gay now). I guess my point is (and I realize I'm taking forever to get to it since I talk too much about myself, another "gay" thing), if this girl loves you and still wants to be with you then what does it matter? You're not trying to get with her friends are you so all that should be on your plate is what she thinks. And if she's a bit worried don't blame her. Painting your nails, watching Desperate House-wives, and having had sex with dudes is more than a little gay. She's probably be a lot more at ease if you admitted you might be bi-curious or a little gay because then she wouldn't think you're in denial and you're going run off with some guy named Bruce in a few months. yeah i had that happen, good luck with the girl. i should add that when i was 16-18 i identified as gay but now that's changed. she's at ease with it anyway, it's her snipey friends that annoy me.
grogster Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Mike, you claim to have had sex with men. Were you sexually attracted to them? Did you come? Did they? Did you kiss? With how many men have you been intimate? I hate to say this but often where there's smoke, there's fire. And, by your self-described sexual history, you have more smoke than a forest fire. Be careful, my friend: don't force your square peg into a round hole.
ARDriver01 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Are her friends not giving you the kind of attention you desire? Maybe this is why you don't get along with some of them... Just sayin...
45Reverse Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Hey, This is my first post here as I only just found the place. I've been going steady with a girl for half a year but don't like some of her friends and they think I'm gay. I really love my girlfriend, we have great conversation and amazing sex but because I seem a little stereotypically gay (i like foreign cinema and corture labels, sex and the city, desperate housewives, pretty woman etc. interior decorating...) and i'm quite extroverted. most of my friends are gay or women and one night she came home, i was sitting drinking serpis absinth by myself watching desperate housewives, with my nails painted red. she'd just been out with her friends and she asked me if i had had any gay experiences, which i had a few of at school/college/uni etc. but it annoys me a lot that her friends think i'm gay just because i have a few traits. it's just that i like boxing as well, and other 'manly' stuff, i'm just comfortable with who i am and yeah, i might have had experiences with guys but i love my girlfriend more than any of that. ...sounds gay to me. Here's a tip: If you don't want to be PERCEIVED as gay. Don't do things that look gay. Wear a basic t-shirt and some Levi's or something...and for God's sake don't go painting your nails...And straight guys don't drink Absinth...And straight guys sure as hell never have "experiances" with other men.
Author Mike12 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 Are her friends not giving you the kind of attention you desire? Maybe this is why you don't get along with some of them... Just sayin... i'm not sure what you mean. sexual attention, friendship attention, extrovert attention? ...sounds gay to me. Here's a tip: If you don't want to be PERCEIVED as gay. Don't do things that look gay. Wear a basic t-shirt and some Levi's or something...and for God's sake don't go painting your nails...And straight guys don't drink Absinth...And straight guys sure as hell never have "experiances" with other men. why would i do that? i'm pretty comfortable with who i am so i don't need to change for the sake of other impressions. and i do wear a basic t-shirt and jeans (not Levi's because of the unethical nature of their production) around the house, just not when i'm out. also a few straight guys wear nail varnish and drink absinthe anyway, not every straight guy is the stereotypical captain of the football team. Mike, you claim to have had sex with men. Were you sexually attracted to them? usually only the effeminate ones Did you come? yes...but only with assisstance or finishing off Did they? same with one exception. Did you kiss? yes, i've kissed dozens and dozens of men and women. With how many men have you been intimate? had full sex with three different men, all during the period where i identified as gay.
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