Sothas Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 - One of my best friends asked me out in November. I wasn't looking for a relationship so I told her that. - Things were only awkward for 1-2 days then back to normal. - About 3-4 weeks ago I realized that I had feelings for her. I was afraid to tell her but was convinced to take the chance. - Two weeks ago I asked her "if she wanted to go out some time". - She said she was "taking the summer off from guys". - Again, things aren't awkward now, I've seen her a couple times since then and it was fine. - The other day she said she might be moving to South Carolina (due to anxiety issues living w/ parents). - When she said that I realized that I didn't just "kinda" have feelings for her, I really care about her a lot. At this point our friendship is back to normal, so I don't want to mess it up or seem like a creep by not accepting what she said when I asked her out. Part of me wants her to know but at the same time it seems like a bad choice. Should I tell her how I feel? -Sothas
BrooklynBridge Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 You have to take the chance. Worst case scenario, she moves to North Carolina anyway. But at least she'll how know you feel from where you are on many levels. Do it!!
Author Sothas Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 I suppose that's the case, but it isn't definate whether or not she is moving. She has anxiety issues and from what I've heard from a mutual friend some days she gets to the point where she feels that she needs to make a very drastic change like that but once she calms down it doesn't end up happening. The South Carolina example was more of a moment of realization for me of what my feelings for her really were, rather than an ultimatum of act now or never have the chance. -AMG
Keridan Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Buddy, take a shot. That bs about "I don't want to ruin the friendship" kinda drives me nuts. If you feel that strongly about her and you don't make a move, it's going to ruin things anyway. Especially if she finds someone else. Take action! If it doesn't work out, yer still good friends. Also, she may be having the same hesitation. If you think she might be into you, but anxious about what to do. Just tell her you are taking her out. Don't ask. Then show her while you are out that it's just like being friends and that the worst that can come of it is friends who know they don't work as more.
Author Sothas Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 So I talked to her last night, I didn't tell her how I feel but I did find out that she isn't going to South Carolina. So she's still going to be around. At this point I think it's probably best to just accept her response from last time and go on as friends. If she changes her mind she knows where to find me. I'm still going to flirt with her a bit, but I'm going to go easy on contacting her, etc. so it doesn't seem like I'm desperate. Sorry if I'm being frustrating but I just feel like after her saying that she was taking the summer off from guys (I still don't know if she truly meant that or if she was just being nice but meant not interested) that if I bring it up again she'll get to the point where she thinks I can't take a hint, and then she'll be worried that she's leading me on, etc. and things would just get awkward with our friendship. I could be totally wrong on this so please let me know if I am but I don't want to be a creep. -Sothas
Keridan Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I understand why you want to take that approach. It's a hard choice sometimes. Maybe try just leaving the door open for her to change her mind. You don't have to hit on her again or tell her your feelings. Just tell her "Just so you know, if you change your mind, that offer stays open." and move on with the conversation.
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