underpants Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Ok, I will send a text now. It's nearly 9 pm, he sent it at 5:30 pm today. It will be lite and airy. I'll update as to what happens. Well, If you would like to see him again then cool. I don't understand the "light and airy". Why not just text and say "I had a great time, call me." You only had to think about it for about 4 hours. Don't play silly games. Be honest and play fair. That way you don't wind up with some confused dude on your doorstep at midnight. Being genuine attracts like and repels the undesireable fairly early on. Oh, and not to mention you let go of alot of silly anxiety in the process. Okay? Now if he responds and you two go out and you decide you don't want to see him again for some reason. I do hope you will tell him, instead of just blowing him off. Just sayin', in case.
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I defintely wouldn't say "call me" because that is being bossy. Also I don't like it when guys say that to me because if they want to talk to me, they can call me. If I feel like calling I will, but don't tell me to call you. He should want to call without being told to call. That is if he wants to... Well, If you would like to see him again then cool. I don't understand the "light and airy". Why not just text and say "I had a great time, call me." You only had to think about it for about 4 hours. Don't play silly games. Be honest and play fair. That way you don't wind up with some confused dude on your doorstep at midnight. Being genuine attracts like and repels the undesireable fairly early on. Oh, and not to mention you let go of alot of silly anxiety in the process. Okay? Now if he responds and you two go out and you decide you don't want to see him again for some reason. I do hope you will tell him, instead of just blowing him off. Just sayin', in case.
imbewildered Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Ok, I will send a text now. It's nearly 9 pm, he sent it at 5:30 pm today. It will be lite and airy. I'll update as to what happens. AS a general comment about returning texts. Men regard a slow reply as a sign of one or more of these - -Low interest level -Poor sense of responsibility. -Rudenees and lacking good manners -You can't be bothered to stop for one second and shoot off a reply. -You are married or living with someone. -You are a ditz -You are a lesbian. You see, men are not inclined to interpret your slow reply as a sign that you are "in demand" or "hard to get " in the way that you mean him to think or believe. LOng delays are just annoying and a turnoff. Reply within ONE HOUR if you want to keep his interest in you. If you do not believe me , print this out and give it to some random guy for HIS opinion.
underpants Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I defintely wouldn't say "call me" because that is being bossy. Also I don't like it when guys say that to me because if they want to talk to me, they can call me. If I feel like calling I will, but don't tell me to call you. He should want to call without being told to call. That is if he wants to... True, You have a good point. I am not a text person. I tried. If it were me I would just hit the call button and talk or leave a voice mail. "hey, I got your text, how is it going?...." Texting is something I don't understand beyond directions or "I'm running late" sort of thing. He should have called directly, and given your enlightenment, she should have responded with an actual call, but I'm old school.
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Hey keep us updated. This seems like it could be promising.
I am who I am Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Reply NOW. Nothing pisses a guy off more that some female who is playing by the "the rules".. Gawd ladies, why not just act like grown up girls and text/call him back when you get a message from him. Drop all this juvenile calculation of "how long should I wait " . It never works. Just be spontaneous with guys.You will be thioght of as a delightful breath of fresh air. WE stuggle with the world out there. Demanding bosses, baitches for secretaries, traffic snarls, bank loans, house renovators who do bad work ...we do NOT want a relationship with someone who is adding to our burdens by playing mindgames. Secondly - a prompt reply is seen as good manners. I am old school and I would dump a new prospect who played these games. I expect women to act with courtesy and respect towards men. "Wait to text back" WHY? Sure guys like to chase but I think guys also like to know that their actions are being reciprocated somewhat, men have feelings too and want to feel appreciated not made to feel like they are doing all this work to be faced with silly and mostly unecessary obstacles.Any guy who has a smidgen of self respect will not play.These game ALWAYS backfire - they never increase your preceived value, they just ANNOY men.AS a general comment about returning texts. Men regard a slow reply as a sign of one or more of these - -Low interest level -Poor sense of responsibility. -Rudenees and lacking good manners -You can't be bothered to stop for one second and shoot off a reply. -You are married or living with someone. -You are a ditz -You are a lesbian.Just had to consolidate the good bits. This is money and so spot on. The best part... all these quotes are from women! If a girl shows me signs of low interest, why would I chase her? Why would I want to be with someone that just "kinda" likes me?!? Play hard to get if you want, but understand, like many women, many men have other options too, and we will generally take the path of least resistance (and head games). Edit: If you want to appear to have a life (ie. not clingy), the longest you should wait is anywhere between 15-45 minutes. It implies that you were busy at the moment, but as soon as you were free, you responded. DO NOT apologize for the delay, just act like you were busy. (holy moley... did I just tell a woman how to play head games with a guy?!? shoot me now!)
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 There seems to be only one side of this "game" situation being discussed. Of my experiences, the guys who are very interested, don't play games of waiting to contact. They usually discuss the next date that same night, if not the next morning. It appears to me that this guy is also playing the "game". Personally, I would immediately write off someone who starts with this kind of attitude.
45Reverse Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 quote=Calisto;1715628]I defintely wouldn't say "call me" because that is being bossy. Also I don't like it when guys say that to me because if they want to talk to me, they can call me. If I feel like calling I will, but don't tell me to call you. He should want to call without being told to call. That is if he wants to... Hmmm...You probably won't agree but that response sounded like you put yourself on a pedastal. I think it would be best of you let the guys do that. Conciously behaving like that looks more like arrogance than anything else. Just sayin.
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 It is plain logic to say that if he wants to call me he will, not putting myself or anyone on a pedestal. Not doing exactly what he says because he told me to do it is not putting myself on a pedestal. Just because he told me to call him doesn't prevent him from picking up the phone. quote=Calisto;1715628]I defintely wouldn't say "call me" because that is being bossy. Also I don't like it when guys say that to me because if they want to talk to me, they can call me. If I feel like calling I will, but don't tell me to call you. He should want to call without being told to call. That is if he wants to... Hmmm...You probably won't agree but that response sounded like you put yourself on a pedastal. I think it would be best of you let the guys do that. Conciously behaving like that looks more like arrogance than anything else. Just sayin.
zicke Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I agree, don't wait FIVE HOURS to return a text message---it's obvious that you were holding off texting back. In five hours you have checked your phone at least once. I wouldn't nescessarily text back the second he texted, but within 1 hour at least. Five hours is totally playing a game.
Calisto Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I don't think so. When I'm at work, I can go for 8 hours without checking my phone. I can also be doing activites and stuff and not even have my phone with me, or just don't think to check it. I think it is healthy to not answer pronto because it shows you aren't obsessed with people calling all the time. It takes away from the quality of your life.
zicke Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Yes, but Calisto, how many people actually go that long without once checking their phones. In addition, she mentioned he texted her at 5:30pm. I am not a proponent of chasing after guys, and I do agree that a man needs to initiate--it just always works out better in the end. Besides, if a man cannot pick up the phone to call me in the beginning, he sure as **** ain't gonna do it later on. I would never wait 5 hours to text a man back. I have waited that long or longer to call someone back, primarily cos I wasn't all that interested to begin with.
Calisto Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Yes, but Calisto, how many people actually go that long without once checking their phones. In addition, she mentioned he texted her at 5:30pm. I am not a proponent of chasing after guys, and I do agree that a man needs to initiate--it just always works out better in the end. Besides, if a man cannot pick up the phone to call me in the beginning, he sure as **** ain't gonna do it later on. I would never wait 5 hours to text a man back. I have waited that long or longer to call someone back, primarily cos I wasn't all that interested to begin with. So I am out with friends for the evening, or hanging watching a movie with a girlfriend, and I am supposed to text back within five hours or I'm not interested? I disagree. Sorry I have a life.
SugarKiss Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I defintely wouldn't say "call me" because that is being bossy. Also I don't like it when guys say that to me because if they want to talk to me, they can call me. If I feel like calling I will, but don't tell me to call you. He should want to call without being told to call. That is if he wants to... do you honestly think you are making guy call or that he is going to feel obliged to call just because you say "call me"? you gave him your # obviously you want him to call you. saying "call me" is not going to make or break the deal a guy/person will do what they feel like regardless. it seems you wouldn't say "call me" out of insecurity or fear of rejection and that's fine I agree with all the rest that said don't wait. the guy is making an effort what more do you need? go for it!
zicke Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 So I am out with friends for the evening, or hanging watching a movie with a girlfriend, and I am supposed to text back within five hours or I'm not interested? I disagree. Sorry I have a life. He texted her at 5:30pm...come on!
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