superfox Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 My ex broke up with me six months ago. I had no contact except one time only. Anyways we had met on this chat program originally and I try to avoid it at all costs. After our breakup I did go on there and seen him on some pretty nasty rooms, I mean very gross things involving incest, pedophelia and other nasty things I can't even mention. I became sickened and ended up hating him. Although I have been told it can just be a fantasy I still am sickened. Anyways I decided I needed to avoid anything to do with him so I refused to go there. Yesterday night I went on and joined a room he was in. He messaged me immediately after seeing my ip address. He started to chat with me, and about his fantasies which were all gross. I had no idea he felt this way in our relationship because he never tried anything like that with me! When he said he was single and I asked why he said he had a girlfriend but broke up with her. I asked if things had been bad. He said "damn near impossible" and that there were cultural/religous family issues on her end that would never be resolved" so he ended it because it was necessary. Part of me is relieved because I always thought it was other reasons that were more major and the cultural one was minor. When we broke up he said we had no relationship chemistry whatever that is. I am kind of upset because he never even gave my family a chance and always assumed he would be disliked because he was white, I had told him it would be a struggle but I was willing to fight it. Also he had expressed racist, almost hateful things surrounding people of color and was very intolerant of other cultures, and quite ignorant. It angers me that he blames me for cultural issues even though he was the one who was ignorant. Immediately after spending xmas with his family he ended things because I assume they must have told him being with me would be a challenge due to cultural differences. I just feel so yucky inside for actuallly caring, and for doing what I did. Part of me felt better, but part of me just went back to square one with the thinking, and digging up the past.
Trialbyfire Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 superfox, that's really rude about what your ex enjoys, fantasy or otherwise. Imagine this guy with his own children which potentially could have been yours too. :sick: Forget the cultural issues. That's nothing compared to being free of someone who's this sick.
serendip Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Why waste time on even thinking about him Your ex sounds like a douchebag...a creepy one at that
Author superfox Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 I know it is all creepy all my friends told me initially after the break that i needed to think of these things and be thankful for him leaving. Right after I seen him on those rooms I wondered if he was doing those things the whole time we were dating. He actually made me delete my program and not go there because he expected complete loyalty - I agreed. As soon as we broke up I logged on out of curiosity and seen those things I saved myself pain but opened up pain yesterday night when I had that conversation. I felt I was to blame and felt so icky inside like I lost someone cuz I'm from a different culture, even though I told him my family would accept him down the road but in my culture seriousness comes with marriage and that is when you can bring the guy or girl home to your parents. He said he understood and can respect that but then when we did breakup I even asked is it due to culture he said no its chemistry. Yesterday everything he pointed to was in regards to culture. He did always make me feel bad for being of a different culture, but I never thought t hat was the exact reason he left. Now I feel kind of sad.
sultry33 Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 dont feel sad.. feel glad.. how could you trust him now? you would always be checking up on him.. find a guy thats not weird.. ill.. culture etc is the least of your worries.. if you know him and you felt sick then it must be bad.. my ex put transexual is google once and i thought that was weird.. but anything like you mentioned id be dialling the police..
Author superfox Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 I feel gross because I can't believe I did things with him and that this is what he is really about. I mean he actually has very bad thoughts in his mind and my chat clarified that. I feel like a wierdo doing what I did to get information but I really wanted some answers. His family and friends always said that it would be so hard to be with me because i'm not white. It made me feel so crappy inside for our relationship and now I know for sure that is the reason he broke it off. I can't change my culture or race, it is who i am. I know he is a sicko but i feel sick with myself for thinking about him and caring about the pain he brought to my life. I honestly thought I did something wrong to him for months I had no idea it was my culture that did this. even though I am Canadian just like him but a different ethnicity. Now I just feel pathetic because he would rather have a relationship with some sick online fantasy than with me a person who really cared.
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