northstar1 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 The past few days have been rough. Constantly missing her, and everything seems to remind me of her. I've been fighting myself not to send an email of my thoughts. I know it would serve no purpose at this point - since things are out of my control. It's just hard when things didnt' end because of fighting or cheating or not being compatible. Seems to be harder to just move on. Just neeed to rant.
iwish Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Hang in there buddy. We all have the days where we miss them and think of them (i suffer daily!) but i really do think, time is healing me and it will heal you too. It will heal all of us. I so wanted to contact my ex this morning (i'm a morning sufferer) but i held strong and am better for it now. What i do, is i write the email or the text and then just simply don't send it. I mean i sit on it for a bit, get through the morning and save into my drafts. I can always send it tomorrow, can't i. And when tomorrow comes i might not want to!. I probably will but then i just write another one. And so the circle continues.. One day i'm sure i won't want to even bother, i mean they can always contact us can't they..
Author northstar1 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Hang in there buddy. We all have the days where we miss them and think of them (i suffer daily!) but i really do think, time is healing me and it will heal you too. It will heal all of us. I so wanted to contact my ex this morning (i'm a morning sufferer) but i held strong and am better for it now. What i do, is i write the email or the text and then just simply don't send it. I mean i sit on it for a bit, get through the morning and save into my drafts. I can always send it tomorrow, can't i. And when tomorrow comes i might not want to!. I probably will but then i just write another one. And so the circle continues.. One day i'm sure i won't want to even bother, i mean they can always contact us can't they.. Thanks - yeah, I have a big long email sitting in draft, with all my thoughts on our relationship and the good times and what it meant - but I just don't see what good it may do, other than set me back, since she's in another country. And yeah, I'm a morning sufferer to. I'm happy for about the first 30 seconds I wake up, then suddenly thoughts wash over me. It's only been a few weeks, but I wonder when these thoughts will end.
kizik Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 The thoughts won't end, they will only diminish. You can attempt to take control of them by pushing them out when you think them, or just by staying so busy they have no time to enter.
sunshinegirl Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Aw, c'mon Kizik, with enough time the thoughts WILL end. I don't lose an ounce of brainpower on my previous exes. I'm not writing email drafts or thinking about what I'll say to them next time I see them, or wondering who they're with or whether they miss me. With enough time and distance, they have receded into my past. Moreover, I am glad I didn't wind up with any of them! In the short term, yes, we can mostly just wait it out, not send the messages we want to, and hope those thoughts diminish. In the long term? They will disappear altogether!!
iwish Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Aw, c'mon Kizik, with enough time the thoughts WILL end. I don't lose an ounce of brainpower on my previous exes. I'm not writing email drafts or thinking about what I'll say to them next time I see them, or wondering who they're with or whether they miss me. With enough time and distance, they have receded into my past. Moreover, I am glad I didn't wind up with any of them! In the short term, yes, we can mostly just wait it out, not send the messages we want to, and hope those thoughts diminish. In the long term? They will disappear altogether!! That is so true!! My other ex's are friends now and they're with other guys. I'm not in the least bit bothered!! I can't wait until i'm that indifferent about my current ex. Although right now, i hate to even think she could be with someone else. She was so damn sexy!!
Author northstar1 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Aw, c'mon Kizik, with enough time the thoughts WILL end. I don't lose an ounce of brainpower on my previous exes. I'm not writing email drafts or thinking about what I'll say to them next time I see them, or wondering who they're with or whether they miss me. With enough time and distance, they have receded into my past. Moreover, I am glad I didn't wind up with any of them! In the short term, yes, we can mostly just wait it out, not send the messages we want to, and hope those thoughts diminish. In the long term? They will disappear altogether!! I sure hope so, because I'm getting a little tired of having my thoughts hijacked all day long by nostalgia and melancholy. I know she sure isn't bothered like this.
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Uughh...I know, I think thats actually what bothers me the most, I know my ex does not give me a thought. Trust me on this one. I hate being forgotten. Thats where all my rage comes from when I have it anymore. I hate that its just so easy for him. As weeks pass, I forgive more and more his need to move on in his life with out me. But the hurt that lingers is the "forgotten" hurt. The fact that he can move on so perfectly with out a blip. Grrrrr...but, as time rolls on more and more, I just realize it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if he can move on or not move on, have a perfect life, or imperfect life, find complete joy or complete sorrow, find perfect love, or distructive love, it doesn't matter.... not in my world, not in my life, not in my heart and not in my mind. I have released him to the world for whatever his life will hold, and take firm hold of the life that is mine for good or bad. He is no longer my concern. Any conern I have for him now is just my ego refusing to accept what it needed to accept long ago. Feeling some possession over him that I have no right to feel. I don't know if it makes sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me.
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