bfla Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I'm 24. I went out with my ex for 2 and a half years. She came (back) into my life right after my mom died; her family was old friends with mine. We had not seen each other since our childhood/young adult years. Of course, I was in a grieving state of mind when we started dating. Many of my friends said that I was only allowing her to fill in a gap and that's why I put up with some of her difficult traits (I was 21, she was 18... there was a small maturity difference there.) But in our years together, I have grown to love and want to keep her. We broke up in January for about a week. (Also once for like 3 days last October, but I dont really think that counts. I think she does though, and I think she thinks this is 3 strikes I'm out.) Throughout May we were arguing a lot and bickering over silly things. I was sexually frustrated. I began having thoughts about leaving her if only to "party and get laid." On May 31 we agreed to break up. Then I realized my mistakes. Throughout the next weeks I have looked deep in myself and realized that I never truly let her in all the way. I couldn't face my fear to do things she needed me to do, like dance with her (I was always scared of dancing). I realized last Tuesday morning how deeply in love with her I am. I have been working out, eating right... I'm starting therapy which is something I promised to do last time we broke up and always put off. I'm trying to handle my emotions. But, a week and a half after we broke up, she went and started online dating. She has since met a guy and it's such a rebound. I can tell they are CRAZY about each other already. She really really digs him. And I can't get her to respond to me or meet up with coffee just to talk about what we can do next. She's totally erasing me from her life. All of our "online photo albums" (facebook) - gone... off her stupid myspace "top friends"... etc. She is trying to pretend I don't exist and letting this guy right in and I'm so scared he's gonna get her for a long time. And all I want to do is show her... look... I finally changed myself!! I finally found the will to open up, and to dance, and to get help for my emotions, and to be strong (Ive never worked out in my life before this), and take care of my health AND YOU! I know she's younger than me. People say maybe she just needs to have fun. But I know she still cares about me and loves and is trying so hard to act like I don't exist and fall right into the arms of this new guy. Plus, her mom's 50th birthday is tomorrow... his birthday is next month... my ex's is 2 weeks after... they have all these special occasions coming up to bond that much more. I'm so scared I've lost her forever and I've finally figured out how to take care of her and not be cold and hurtful. HOW can I get her to let me take her out... to show her! I realized in my heart that i am SUPPOSED to love her... and keep her... and ask her to marry me. What can I do? Every day I pace around... I'm a teacher and on vacation right now... I have pretend conversations with her and say all the things I want to say. And she just will not let me in anymore. Help me
kyta Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Its time to move on, the rebound wont work out, i have never known one to work out, mine is the same, in a rebound rite now within a wk of us splitting up after 7 yrs, it happens, life will go on, the pain will ease, but i suggest nc, if she wants you then she knows where you are, if you try to convince her then all you will do is push her a way more, let her have her rebound get on with your life and dont think of what will get her back, as io dout very much that anything u say will get her back now she has some one else, her meotions are with him now, let her go, do nc, and time will heal, but u have to let go.
Author bfla Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 I just feel in my heart that letting go is wrong... that I finally figured out exactly what I wasn't giving her after my mom died... that I can finally make her happy and not hurt her anymore
kyta Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 We allways feel are hearts cant let go, but they can, maybe you could be a diffrent person now, maybe your head is telling you you can do it diffrent, we all think that, but the truth is it is broken thats why is called a break up, and when thing are broken, and especialy relationships they are never the same again, its hard to face, but as of this time you to are not togethr it is over, and you have to try and its hard to except it, move on, and would you really want to be with someone who after so short a time, just gave hgerself to the fist person to come along? what if this a true rebound then take the plesure of knowing it probably wont last long, some women and men just go from person to person, never really learning much, take time out build on yourself and let go.
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