reformed Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 OK, this is the deal....Several months ago, my serious girlfriend of 4 yrs gave me the pink slip. She is 25, me 30. I was shocked and heartbroken. For a year, we were saving for a wedding, no ring exchanged yet. Over the last 2 months, 99% of the time, she was cool and seemed to be happy. 1% of the time she would get upset and say she was not going to put up with certain things, but then would always calm down and then show signs of progression with everything being fine again. What I did not realize was that she was also starting to test me to see if I was serious about proposing anytime soon despite the fact we were still saving money for the big day. I was two months away from proposing. She did not ask me things straight up, but asked me very indirect questions trying to get a handle on my views on things about the future, if I was going to propose, etc. I did not get what she was really doing. There was an incredible amount of miscommunication on how I truly felt about things as well as a significant amount of incorrect accumptions made on both our parts. I also had a lot of stress going on at the time and yelled at her a couple of times and demanded she change a couple of things about her behavior. When she broke up, I did all the wrong things and would try and contact her every 2-4 weeks for a few months. She would not talk. I have quit. I learned she is going out with someone else. I swear this girl totally loved me with all her heart and wanted to marry me for the longest time. Her friends say so. We are both each other's only love. She sacrificed a great deal for me and did so much for me. I did that for her too but I did not realize she was unhappy with some of my behavior. I did not treat her well enough, we let too much tension build up, and I failed to communicate to her properly so she understood how I felt about different things. I know for sure she made significant and totally wrong conclusions (my fault) about conversations and events that happened. The problem is that I can't get her to talk to me to correct these assumptions she made and to tell her what I have realized. All she will tell mutual friends is that she does not want to talk. I am sure she feels like she gave me ample time to propose, which she did. I was just wanting to save more money for the ring, wedding, etc. My point: The straws that broke the camel's back were the result of miscommunication, bad assumptions being made, and me occasionally being a jerk. It is fixable logically, but she won't talk nor listen. I only upset her by trying to make contact so I have quit. We are two good people, no history of cheating, both moral and stable. Suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
luvmyboys Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 Yea, let her go. She obviously has made it clear she's not interested. Sometimes couples just become a habit and there really is no bond there that will last a lifetime. I'm guessing she has sensed this. As hard as it is to let go, you should really try. If it was meant to be, she would have at least communicated in person with you, not through her friends which to me, is very immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts