johan Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Ran into her and her daughter at the grocery store. It's been over 2 years since I saw either of them. It didn't feel awkward though. She looked a little older and she had no makeup. They happen to be moving away in a couple of weeks, so it's kind of a weird thing to run into them now. Sort of like God saying "you should at least see each other again." I thought maybe they had moved away already. I don't feel devastated or bad about things. I feel a loss. I still love her, I know that. I thought I saw love in her eyes as well. I know the relationship we had was really difficult, and that was because of all the fear and insecurities between us, and I think that most of it was her. And if none of that has changed, then I can't say that I'd try again with her. But if I thought that time and maturity had healed us and maybe the constancy brought a deeper trust, then I'd marry her tomorrow. I always felt that way, and it's exactly how I feel now. Nothing has changed. I told them I'd like to take them out before they left. And they agreed. I kissed her on the cheek as we parted. It was an impulse. Probably not wise, but it happened. I really do miss them. I miss her. I will miss her.
ShellseyB Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Ran into her and her daughter at the grocery store. It's been over 2 years since I saw either of them. It didn't feel awkward though. She looked a little older and she had no makeup. They happen to be moving away in a couple of weeks, so it's kind of a weird thing to run into them now. Sort of like God saying "you should at least see each other again." I thought maybe they had moved away already. I don't feel devastated or bad about things. I feel a loss. I still love her, I know that. I thought I saw love in her eyes as well. I know the relationship we had was really difficult, and that was because of all the fear and insecurities between us, and I think that most of it was her. And if none of that has changed, then I can't say that I'd try again with her. But if I thought that time and maturity had healed us and maybe the constancy brought a deeper trust, then I'd marry her tomorrow. I always felt that way, and it's exactly how I feel now. Nothing has changed. I told them I'd like to take them out before they left. And they agreed. I kissed her on the cheek as we parted. It was an impulse. Probably not wise, but it happened. I really do miss them. I miss her. I will miss her. what happened with the break up J?
Lostgurl Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Jo, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. Especially when she's leaving and you know that nothing has changed. Are you sure that you want to see her again? Won't that bring on more pain for you? I can feel the hurt in you reading your words. Seeing her once has brought this hurt on. If you know that nothing has changed, why put yourself through that again?
Author johan Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 what happened with the break up J? This sums it up pretty well. There were other threads before that. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t69968/ How can I compete with Gene?
Author johan Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Jo, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. Especially when she's leaving and you know that nothing has changed. Are you sure that you want to see her again? Won't that bring on more pain for you? I can feel the hurt in you reading your words. Seeing her once has brought this hurt on. If you know that nothing has changed, why put yourself through that again? It's not a lot of pain I'm feeling. This is the loss and regret that comes from meeting an ex from long ago who you really cared about. Not the kind of torment that comes from breaking no contact. In spite of that, you make a good point. I will have to say goodbye to her again, and that won't be easy. But I can't really back out of it. And it seems like the right thing to do.
Lostgurl Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 It's not a lot of pain I'm feeling. This is the loss and regret that comes from meeting an ex from long ago who you really cared about. Not the kind of torment that comes from breaking no contact. In spite of that, you make a good point. I will have to say goodbye to her again, and that won't be easy. But I can't really back out of it. And it seems like the right thing to do. The right thing to do for you or her? You sound like an honourable man. But if it will cause you sadness, please think twice.
mihea Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I've learned that it is better to forget and loose contact with some ex-partners otherwise you won't be calm. It is hard to see old partner again offcourse the feelings return, even if just for a brief moment. But it is best to move on and not think about that anymore. There are plenty of people arround, you just have to meet someone suitable (not perfect, cause nobody is Imagine how it is for me, I live in a country with 2mil people it is hard to avoid some people from my past even if I want to.
underpants Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I just saw this. I guess x's are popping out all over for some reason. Maybe this encounter and if you go through with it, visit, will help you heal up the rest of the way. Bittersweet huh?
LikeCharlotte Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I told them I'd like to take them out before they left. And they agreed. I kissed her on the cheek as we parted. It was an impulse. Probably not wise, but it happened. I really do miss them. I miss her. I will miss her.I think it is very nice that you want to say goodbye. Kudos to you for not backing out of your impulse. Whatever feelings surface they will pass too. Enjoy it and leave both of you with a positive experience.
marlena Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I like the way you feel for your ex. It shows maturity, confidence and a man with a big heart. I think you are in a good place now emotionally and will be able to handle the encounter very well. Whatever happens, this last memory will warm up your heart for years to come.
Touche Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I just saw this. I guess x's are popping out all over for some reason. Maybe this encounter and if you go through with it, visit, will help you heal up the rest of the way. Bittersweet huh? Either that or it's going to put him right back at square one.
Art_Critic Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I think it is going to make you sad again.. not always a bad thing though Merin had a good post on your other thread... Worth re-reading IMO The Bridge is Burnt when you burn it... BUT happens all the time that people will rebuild the Bridge so to speak... I suppose the trick is this... figuring out why the Bridge wasn't strong enough to begin with, AND deciding if the place it leads is worth going back too... Pride is sucky uh? There is no way I'm believing after 3 years together that she feels nothing about this, AND I also think sometimes people full fill thier own phrophcy (her being afraid you'd one day abandon her) Have you decided if the bridge is actually burnt ? Do you think she feels the bridge is burnt ? You just mentioned you would marry her in a second...Hummm.. I'm not trying to be the romantic but if the bridge isn't burnt then maybe you need to deal with this.. I'm normally an advocate for NC.. but it seems to me that she might still care for you and these feelings need to be explored..
Touche Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I think it is going to make you sad again.. not always a bad thing though Merin had a good post on your other thread... Worth re-reading Have you decided if the bridge is actually burnt ? Do you think she feels the bridge is burnt ? You just mentioned you would marry her in a second...Hummm.. I'm not trying to be the romantic but if the bridge isn't burnt then maybe you need to deal with this.. I'm normally an advocate for NC.. but it seems to me that she might still care for you and these feelings need to be explored.. Wow, I can't believe you're encouraging him in this. And he said he'd marry her in a second IF ... I thought that time and maturity had healed us and maybe the constancy brought a deeper trust, then I'd marry her tomorrow. That's a huge IF. It's also what's going to continue to get in his way. He can never truly open up and give of himself as long as he really feels that way. He'll live out the rest of his days hoping and wishing for the above to happen. What a waste.
Art_Critic Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Wow, I can't believe you're encouraging him in this. And he said he'd marry her in a second IF That's a huge IF. It's also what's going to continue to get in his way. He can never truly open up and give of himself as long as he really feels that way. He'll live out the rest of his days hoping and wishing for the above to happen. What a waste. I wasn't telling him to jump off a bridge Touche.. I was just looking at what he posted thru a different pair of glasses.. The pair that sees he cares about her and she cares about him...
Touche Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I wasn't telling him to jump off a bridge Touche.. I was just looking at what he posted thru a different pair of glasses.. The pair that sees he cares about her and she cares about him... Oh you mean the rose-colored ones? I threw mine out long ago.
Nemo Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I agree that these sorts of things never happen "by accident." There's always a reason, and life always has a plan for us. Time heals all wounds, and love will find a way.
Touche Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I agree that these sorts of things never happen "by accident." There's always a reason, and life always has a plan for us. Time heals all wounds, and love will find a way. Yes, perhaps you're right. It's a "sign." They were meant to be. The path of true love is never smooth. Just be yourself. And if it really is meant to be it will happen. Love happens when you least expect it.
Author johan Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 I guess x's are popping out all over for some reason. Maybe this encounter and if you go through with it, visit, will help you heal up the rest of the way. Bittersweet huh? Yeah. It was a nice rush to see her and to feel love for her. But also to face the idea that I'll never see her again. And the conflict between hope for change and memories of when change was impossible. I think it is very nice that you want to say goodbye. Kudos to you for not backing out of your impulse. Whatever feelings surface they will pass too. Enjoy it and leave both of you with a positive experience. I agree with you. I like the way you feel for your ex. It shows maturity, confidence and a man with a big heart. I think you are in a good place now emotionally and will be able to handle the encounter very well. Whatever happens, this last memory will warm up your heart for years to come. I hope so. I think it is going to make you sad again.. not always a bad thing though Merin had a good post on your other thread... Worth re-reading Have you decided if the bridge is actually burnt ? Do you think she feels the bridge is burnt ? You just mentioned you would marry her in a second...Hummm.. I'm not trying to be the romantic but if the bridge isn't burnt then maybe you need to deal with this.. I'm normally an advocate for NC.. but it seems to me that she might still care for you and these feelings need to be explored.. I don't know, Art. I don't know anything at all. I'm prepared to let her go forever. I already did. Seeing her didn't change that. But she's moving away now, and I'm not planning to pursue her. I wasn't telling him to jump off a bridge Touche.. I was just looking at what he posted thru a different pair of glasses.. The pair that sees he cares about her and she cares about him... I know we care about each other. Today I was thinking about what it would mean to try again. It would most likely mean more swimming upstream, fighting like hell just to achieve what happens automatically in a normal relationship. I haven't forgotten the things that broke us up. Seeing her revived those feelings as well. I see a lot of sadness in her. I don't think she'll ever be happy in love. That's really a terrible shame.
sultry33 Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 I agree that these sorts of things never happen "by accident." There's always a reason, and life always has a plan for us. Time heals all wounds, and love will find a way. yes i think this way too... maybe its fate.. its up to you op .. maybe it will help you both return or move on happlily..
Touche Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 yes i think this way too... maybe its fate.. its up to you op .. maybe it will help you both return or move on happlily.. Absolutely. It's up to you.
Author johan Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 I haven't been able to bring myself to call her. I think about it, and what she's probably thinking. But I just procrastinate.
underpants Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I haven't been able to bring myself to call her. I think about it, and what she's probably thinking. But I just procrastinate. Walk strong and make a decision. There is no shame or humility in either direction. Just direction. Choose one, a wise one.
Author johan Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 I called her. She sounded very sweet and said she had been thinking about us getting together since we talked. We chatted for a minute, but she said she was on her way out and didn't want to be late. She would call me tomorrow so we could arrange a time and place to get together. She said she wanted to hear all my "stories". Who knows. It's so tempting to ask her whose party she's going to, just to hear her say it's a girlfriend's. But she might not say that. It's a dilemma whether I should confess my feelings to her. That I wish she wasn't going and that I still have a place in my heart for her. That I miss her and that I'll miss her more when she's gone. In spite of the fact that she and I haven't had any contact in all this time, that's true. I'll miss her more knowing she's moved away.
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