badz2801 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Truth be told....time is not a measure of love. It honestly does not matter how long someone has been with you, once they want out....they are gone. One thing you can take comfort in is that if they really did love you at one time....they will remember you and will compare you to who they are dating. Both you and others have the ability to love one day....and move on the next. Love is experienced differently between two people for different reasons. What happened sucked for sure, but its time to start over. My advice try and look for someone who is different than your ex (I am not talking about the easy chick/pot head/first person to your door step). Go out on a few dates (meaning you don't sleep with them), even if the lady does not knock you off your feet; you might be surprised. So where do you find the next one: 1. Ask yourself what you really like and go do it. - She / He is waiting there. 2. When you consider and idea that sounds less than fun....go do it, you might be surprised (or rather you will confirm it sucked). 3. Ladies love to dance, even if you suck...just getting out on the floor is half the battle ( I can assure you I am no expert but all my other buddies are standing there watching afraid of trying). 4. Go out and live it up (within reason - if you are goal driven you know what I'm talking about), you are finally single; you can go to a bar without being yelled at, you can go white water rafting or whatever else you want. 5. When your having fun don't forget who you are and what you believe in....and consider one very important question: Would someone else (who matters) like who you have become. I have several friends who changed for the worse. To answer the question in the back of your head...she had interests else where....it does not mean she didn't care...it just means her interests were captivated elsewhere at this point in time ( consider the fact you were her interest at one time) People change, once you really begin to accept that the better off you will be. That and remember the honest truth: You only get one pass on this earth....you might as well make the best of everything.
kyta Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I'm sorry you've had negative experiences with women but crappy behavior isn't gender-specific. Based on my own breakup experience, I could just as easily condemn all men... But I know there are good ones out there (loveshack has actually prevented me from falling into total cynicism, as I see all you guys suffering along with us women). I wasnt trying to say it was jender specific, i know men are just as bad, we are all human, it not all been negative experiences with women, i know some wonderfull women. Im not againt women at all, nor do i hate them, nor will i let my experiences stop me wanting to love again, im actully looking forward to feeling love again, we all feel the pain of a breakup, men/women alike, and we all get treated in a way we dont like, but it is part of life, i dont belive its all a big plan, it happened for a reason, it was meant to be, god has some one else for you, it happens because it happens for what ever reason, i except that, but it can allways be done with a bit more compassion, i find women, are very bitchy when they dump or get dumped, me im a placid guy, i have dumped and been dumped, so i nkow from both angles, and which ever way it goes i still try to be nice to them. I was with a girl once for about 6 months, she did love me, and when it came to an end she couldnt cope, she wanted us back together for 3 months, kept trying, i stayed friends with her and talked to her lots, after the 3 months she met another guy, and i was ok with it, and so was she, we are still friends now, but i helped her get rid of the grief she felt about us, and i helped her move on, so in the end she didnt feel as much pain as she would of if i was cold to her, its called a heart, i have one, it hurts at times, but i know its a good heart, ill help anyone out who is in pain or just needs help. Thats just the kinda guy i am.
Author ate_the_paint Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 its called a heart, i have one, it hurts at times, but i know its a good heart, ill help anyone out who is in pain or just needs help. Thats just the kinda guy i am. Ditto..I'm a sucker for someone in need...can't bear to see people lost and hurt and alone. Some call that a weakness but that's the way I've always been...I don't think it's weak it all. I'm just not used to that person being me...
kyta Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Its not a weekness at all its a strenth, it may get us hurt at times, but its a good vaule to have, id rather be a nice person than an *******, ppl who cant think of others are very sad inside, and they suffer for it, the world we live in is a very bitter place, with very bitter unhappy ppl in it, live good and allways be the person you are, as we are only who we are, i dont want to change the way i am or who i am, there are bits of me id like to change, but overall be true to yourself, and happiness will find us.
sumdude Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Truth be told....time is not a measure of love. It honestly does not matter how long someone has been with you, once they want out....they are gone. One thing you can take comfort in is that if they really did love you at one time....they will remember you and will compare you to who they are dating. Both you and others have the ability to love one day....and move on the next. Love is experienced differently between two people for different reasons. What happened sucked for sure, but its time to start over. My advice try and look for someone who is different than your ex (I am not talking about the easy chick/pot head/first person to your door step). Go out on a few dates (meaning you don't sleep with them), even if the lady does not knock you off your feet; you might be surprised. So where do you find the next one: 1. Ask yourself what you really like and go do it. - She / He is waiting there. 2. When you consider and idea that sounds less than fun....go do it, you might be surprised (or rather you will confirm it sucked). 3. Ladies love to dance, even if you suck...just getting out on the floor is half the battle ( I can assure you I am no expert but all my other buddies are standing there watching afraid of trying). 4. Go out and live it up (within reason - if you are goal driven you know what I'm talking about), you are finally single; you can go to a bar without being yelled at, you can go white water rafting or whatever else you want. 5. When your having fun don't forget who you are and what you believe in....and consider one very important question: Would someone else (who matters) like who you have become. I have several friends who changed for the worse. To answer the question in the back of your head...she had interests else where....it does not mean she didn't care...it just means her interests were captivated elsewhere at this point in time ( consider the fact you were her interest at one time) People change, once you really begin to accept that the better off you will be. That and remember the honest truth: You only get one pass on this earth....you might as well make the best of everything. Super post!
canadian976 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I'm sorry Bobby. Mine was in April so not long after yours. I hope that your pain diminishes but judging by what I read here it seems like you and I are both going to be grieving for a while. 9 years. WTF? What gets me is that they refused to try to fix it. Sounds like you were blind-sided much like I was. It must be true what they say; by the time they physically leave, they've already left long before. I hope that everyone here can simply learn from the mistakes and go into the next relationship even stronger. Oh ya, and watch for those red flags! A1 me too --------- !
tanin84 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Well my friend, women are elusive and very irrational so I have no quick and esy answer for your pain. I feel your pain very much. I had a wedding cancelled on me. I suggest taking up boxing. Great way to relieve the stress. Best of luck friend and again very sorry for the pain.
nopainnogain Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Yes ,when we are not a challenge anymore,they know everything about us ,we become predictable,blah blah. Good riddance,I dont need a woman with that type of mentality in my life anyways
Recommended Posts