angryyoungman70 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 JS, I could just as easilly rant and rave all I want about women and how they are morally bankrupt...blah blah blah. But I will not, because I don't actually believe it. Look, I grew up in a house hold where I was abused and eventually abandoned by my alcoholic mother (She drove my father away when I was 4- sent him packing back to Germany). My older sister tormented me because she had the power to do so(subsequently, we are best friends today). A 'Foster mom' that I lived with physically assaulted me. When I was younger, all of my first gilfriends either broke my heart by screwing around or dumped me so they could date someone else. One even broke up with me for a girl! My SO whom I have been with for almost 18 years (14 of them married) is a polar opposite of me and does not reciprocate any of the love and attention that I give her. We have sex an average of 10 times a year (her choice, NOT mine). Even with all of my experiences combined, I will never make blanket statements here, or anywhere else about women in general, because I know that every PERSON is different, with different attitudes, personalities, morals, and values. From everything I have read by you, I can tell that you've been burned by men in the past, and that porn has been a big ticket issue with you. You most certainly have every right to be anti-porn, and to voice your opinions here, however much of what you've written smacks of a strong bias aginst men in general. And YES, I do get most of the points you are trying to convey. I do understand your perspective, and can agree with you on certain issues. I will not however be silent when someone is quite blatently gender-bashing. You know, there are women And men who are as you put it : "not nice". Men do not have a monopoly on this.
Order & Chaos Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Don't directly address the very real and true statements I made in my post. that would actually mean having to admit that men's behavior isn't as perfect as they want women to think of them as. God forbid a man admit that yeah, sometimes his behavior with porn sucks and he could understand how him looking at women young enough to be his daughter, could be a sceevy and not respectful of his daughter OR his wife. Who are you talking to? I'm a woman so I am not sure what you are talking about but I have never said men are perfect. I just don't believe they are the dirtbags you apparently think they are. I have advised you on what to do, you only want to look through your narrow glasses on a black and white world that agrees with you 100%. That's fine but I think life would be easiest for you and the male population if you just swore them off.
porter218 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Then don't be with them. If it is so awful don't date men and don't have a relationship with one. Hooray Lesbians! lol:laugh: That's what I'm saying! Men are on the downfall where I live, and new lesbians are popping up left and right. I think men are going out of style, and I see why.
Order & Chaos Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Hooray Lesbians! lol:laugh: That's what I'm saying! Men are on the downfall where I live, and new lesbians are popping up left and right. I think men are going out of style, and I see why. :lmao: Not sure if that was what I was saying. Was thinking more just being celibate since I think the self esteem issues and narrow philosophies would pop up dating women as well. Never realized that men were going out of style, shoot sounds like I need to stay up on fashion.
Citizen Erased Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I apologise if this is off track of the off topic discussion, thought I would voice my opinion on the actual point of this thread. OP: The porn is not bad. The video messaging is. You have a child and you cannot disappear with him for a day or two, that is not right to take him away from his father. You need to confront your husband on the video messages and arrange marriage counseling. This will only get worse if you let it be. Him video messaging other women is not acceptable. Either is you controlling him. And you both owe it to your child to make this marriage work. Not to mention each other. This gets said often, but this is just a symptom of a bigger issue.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 A Citizen..what about porn that calls women names and degrades them in other ways..is that porn bad or is that okay too? Just curious where men's mind frame is when it comes to this. It be really cool if men were actually as bothered by this..but seeing how most porn is pretty degrading to women in general and does refer to women in four letter words, I guess that isn't the real case. Look, I grew up in a house hold where I was abused and eventually abandoned by my alcoholic mother (She drove my father away when I was 4- sent him packing back to Germany). My older sister tormented me because she had the power to do so(subsequently, we are best friends today). A 'Foster mom' that I lived with physically assaulted me. When I was younger, all of my first gilfriends either broke my heart by screwing around or dumped me so they could date someone else. One even broke up with me for a girl! My SO whom I have been with for almost 18 years (14 of them married) is a polar opposite of me and does not reciprocate any of the love and attention that I give her. We have sex an average of 10 times a year (her choice, NOT mine). Well, I am sorry for that. It sounds like you have had a tough row of it. And it isn't fair that your SO isn't reciprocating to giving love and attention. I've had my own issues with men growing up as well. Even with all of my experiences combined, I will never make blanket statements here, or anywhere else about women in general, because I know that every PERSON is different, with different attitudes, personalities, morals, and values. Of course every person is different but there are similar behaviors that you can see in men and women on a general level. Most men DO look at porn. Most men do sometimes look at porn over having sex with their SO for "variety". ....... however much of what you've written smacks of a strong bias aginst men in general. And YES, I do get most of the points you are trying to convey. I do understand your perspective, and can agree with you on certain issues. I will not however be silent when someone is quite blatently gender-bashing. You know, there are women And men who are as you put it : "not nice". Men do not have a monopoly on this. Firstly, I am biased against men and I do realize that. But then, certain experiences teach you certain lessons. And while I am biased, I am not gender bashing. There are many things about men I love but there are alot of things that men do that really hurt. I am trying to be realistic about that now because before I was very naive.
Trialbyfire Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I apologise if this is off track of the off topic discussion, thought I would voice my opinion on the actual point of this thread. OP: The porn is not bad. The video messaging is. You have a child and you cannot disappear with him for a day or two, that is not right to take him away from his father. You need to confront your husband on the video messages and arrange marriage counseling. This will only get worse if you let it be. Him video messaging other women is not acceptable. Either is you controlling him. And you both owe it to your child to make this marriage work. Not to mention each other. This gets said often, but this is just a symptom of a bigger issue. I agree with this... But... Lying and trust broken are major, major issues. He should never have agreed to not viewing porn if he wanted to, as defined by the following: I really think you are missing the point here. Regardless of your views on porn...her man said in the beginning he wasn't going to use porn. This turns out to have been a lie, which means he tricked her into a relationship. Not fair at all. In situations like this a man needs to man up and be honest. If he wants to watch porn or do video chat porn, then say thats what the hell you want to do and make no excuses about it, don't f*cking lie about it. If he told the truth in the beginning she could have made a more informed decision about whether to pursue a relationship with him or not. If she doesn't want to deal with it, then he can go off to find a woman who is cool with a man like that, and she can find a man who would respect her wishes....every one wins. Is that so hard to understand.
Citizen Erased Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 A Citizen..what about porn that calls women names and degrades them in other ways..is that porn bad or is that okay too? Just curious where men's mind frame is when it comes to this. It be really cool if men were actually as bothered by this..but seeing how most porn is pretty degrading to women in general and does refer to women in four letter words, I guess that isn't the real case. Seeing as I am female, I doubt my input will give you an insight into their frame of mind. I myself have never been offended by what I have seen or heard in porn so I guess I'm not the right person to confront on the language used either. I agree with this... But... Lying and trust broken are major, major issues. He should never have agreed to not viewing porn if he wanted to, as defined by the following: I agree, I didn't mention it in my post because I thought it had been stated clearly by others.
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