ioncebelieved Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Y made me realize this from his post in post here instead of contacting ex: That what hurts most is friendship is thrown away, lost, derailed, disregarded, forgotten about, and anything else I could possible think of that would be bad. For almost two years we built something that was unbelievable, unique and different!! That SCUD told me that I was her best friend and crap like she wants to call me and tell me things before anyone else. Jesus, I thought we were best friends!!! That hurts the most and I guess today is my day to very sorry for myself. Man, it hurts losing a loved one, but to lose a love/ best friend is WORSE!!! I love being lied to, makes me feel ****ing great!!!
carhill Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Fact is, generically, women use men as emotional receptacles just as routinely as men use women as penile receptacles. All the smooth talk is just a means to an end. Once you have reconciled that perspective, you can separate your self-esteem from the mutual satisfaction of the relationship and enjoy it for what it is when it is. Hopefully, regardless of outcome, it was a positive influence in your life and inspired you to become a better person. Is so, that's the gift
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 You know TALK is about all I got!! So you are right!! I want to be so guarded next time. I almost regret not using her as a sperm receptacle. I would have been in better shape. I once thought it is worse being the dumper, but I would argue that now. Thanks for an interesting perspective. Today has been bad!! I can't even put my thoughts down accurately w/o editing. The fact remains, I will always be a good person and she will have to live with the two lives she has over the last 2 years. It may not even bother her and if it does not... I am glad not to be with her even though she still has my hearts strings like a puppeteer!!
inulg Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 man, i totally agree! just be happy it was just 2 years and didnt drag on to 7 like mine... lol yeah.
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Man talk about long suffering!! In August, it would be two years. As of now, I think good guys finish last. I would have said nice, but I am good not nice. SEVEN YEARS!!! I guess that I could have given her another 5 years to play me and her husband. His problem now, not mine!! DID I MENTION 7 years is a long time???? Man oh man!!! That would make you consider the business end of a scattergun.
serendip Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 The losing the ex's friendship was never a big deal with me...mainly because I have many amazing friends(some of us have over 25 yrs of history together). I pretty much set in the friendship department as far as that goes. When I first reunited with the ex again...I told her...you can never have too many good people in your life...boy was I mistaken about her(the cheating on me twice didn't help) What killed me was the lost of faith in her....she played the most significant part in my life(the first time we were together)...it was key in my development. I always thought she was good and pure and it made me want to be a better person just having had her in my life. I kept that with me even when we broke up the first time back in the mid 90's. Now it just seems like a lie...and it killed to lose my faith.
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 T I always thought she was good and pure and it made me want to be a better person just having had her in my life That is just it!!! EXACTLY!!! For once, I thought that I had found someone that was different so to speak, like you mentioned good and pure. I actually told her about a year and half ago that I wanted to be a better person because of her. Not that I was bad to begin with, I just thought that much of her! Serendip, I think I understand you! When that is taken away from you it destroys what you believed. I have a few close friends, but they are married w/ kids and I am single without kids. Makes it kind of hard to fit in their lifestyle with that. My best friend assures me that it is okay to hang out with them (his family) but some were out of no where I think his wife thinks I will be trying to convert him to the single life. Which I would not. Today has been pretty bad for me. I guess we are entitled from time to time!!!
stlnsmile Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Today is a bad day for me as well, I've had a few of them lately, and its been 6 mo. for me. I have so much anger and sadness sometimes I don't know what to do with them. Its hard to loose the one person you felt you could put your faith into, only to find out how wrong you were. You say you always thought being the dumper was harder...I'de love to know why you thought that. I honestly can't see that dumpers feel much of anything, but I know this is completely one sided and coming from a lot of pain. It hurts as well to loose my friend. Was I soooo wrong to believe in him? It doesn't make any sence...how could someone sooo good, go and be soooo bad?
Tony T Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 The quote is right here on LoveShack somewhere...I remember seeing it and memorizing it. It goes something like: "Never make someone a priority who sees you only as an option." Unfortunately, there are people who will be your dear, close, wonderful friend until something better or different comes along and you can't predict that.
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Well in my case when I was getting divorced a few years ago I met her and she said she was going through the same. Not really the case. She was never separated and getting a divorce was something her husband knew anything about. I believed her in the beginning, until I knew she was lying. By that time, It was too late I had already fallen in love with her. I held onto hope and that hope will drive you mad. Basically her option became too demanding and it was screwing her double sided life up.
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