iwish Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Well i have a problem.. She first dumped me at the beggining of Feb. It was a very emotianal affair with lots of tears on both sides... I chased and chased and got her back at the begginng of April (2 months apart).. We dated for 3 weeks, with me pulling out all the stops, trying all the angles to please her.. I tried so hard!!.. Then there was 'thailand gate'. She said she wanted to go there on her own for two weeks. I didn't believe her (i thought she was going with the ex).. We split up mutualy.. The night b4 she left, she chased and begged to see me, i mean a hell of a lot of begging, the tide had turned!!.. I caved and went to see her, we had sex, exchanged i love you's and i drove her to the airport. We agreed to meet up when she got back.. Whilst she was over there i texted her i missed her, she texted back the same... When she got back, she dumped me by text, then by email, until 3 days later we met up for a 'closure' chat. It was a kind of fun time (considering) where we both wanted to just kiss each other but agreed it was a bad idea as i would only get hurt.. I continued contact, then we met up in a fantastic hotel and had a night of fantastic sex. I told her i loved her, she just smiled... 4 days after that i was out with my friend and saw her in a restaurant with another guy. Now they could've just been friends, i just don't know. I was with a girl and she was just a friend. I contacted her and told her i saw her and was upset that it was so soon.. She replied and accused me of following her.. I wrote the longest email in the world declaring my innocence and my love. Thanks to the advice of LS i never sent it.. I went NC!! I managed a week and i got itchy (that's my longest period in the last 4 months!!) then she contacted me on my birthday wishing me a happy birthday.. i replied with a suggestion to meet up on thursday.. She replied with 'sorry i can't x'.. So i went NC again, now is day 5 and i'm getting the stong urge to tell her i miss her.. I don't seem to able to get past one week of NC.. I mean in 4 months the longest i have managed NC is one poxy week before i crack and send her a text or email.. I know i'm stupid and that she clearly doesn't want me. I also believe that she has never had the chance to actually miss me. I've never left her alone for longer than a week. I just can't seem to do it. I need to get past this week barrier, i need to be strong and not contact her. I need the next time (if there is a next time) to be initiated by her. I mean, i hope she does contact me. I hope that guy i saw her with was just a friend.. But more than that, i hope i can get through the next two days without cracking. I even have an excuse. I found the scarf she's wanted back since day one this morning. I could just call her and say that i found it and we could meet up so i can give her it. But i can't, i'm scared she'll say no. I'm scared she'll accuse me of some ridiculous lie. I'm scared to start with the NC again. The point is i miss her immensly, i think about her daily (i try not to), but she just doesn't seem to miss me. I've looked her up on facebook (very bad idea!) and she seems happy, going out getting drunk.. meeting new people. I'm doing the same, but i always think of her. Why isn't she thinking of me?! Why wont she initiate contact. I just want to get past the week barrier. And i'm struggling!! I read the other posts and see, one month, two months etc.. But i can't even do a week!! It's bloody ridiculous.
FloraPost Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 You can do it! You are worth more than that! Don't let her kick you while you're down. Stay NC! You can DO IT! Really, invest in YOURSELF, not in her. I've found it REALLY helpful to post on the link about posting to your ex here instead of in real life. Also, go read some of Y's posts. FIGHT ON!!!!
ioncebelieved Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 You are as bad as I am with that miss you ****!!! Look, I want to call mine every freaking day and say the same thing!!! What good would it serve???? I mean if they really cared, wouldn't they be beating down our doors? Would they not call us and say I miss you so badly and do whatever it takes to make it happen? I am sure mine is not done with her tricks and Yours is not either!!! I always like your advice, btw!
sultry33 Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I even have an excuse. I found the scarf she's wanted back since day one this morning. I could just call her and say that i found it and we could meet up so i can give her it. But i can't, i'm scared she'll say no. I'm scared she'll accuse me of some ridiculous lie. I'm scared to start with the NC again. The point is i miss her immensly, i think about her daily (i try not to), but she just doesn't seem to miss me. I've looked her up on facebook (very bad idea!) and she seems happy, going out getting drunk.. meeting new people. I'm doing the same, but i always think of her. Why isn't she thinking of me?! Why wont she initiate contact. I just want to get past the week barrier. And i'm struggling!! I read the other posts and see, one month, two months etc.. But i can't even do a week!! It's bloody ridiculous. hi iwish.. just because she appears happy.. ok does not mean she is.. people can always put on a brave face.. my ex is soo busy but its his way to cope.. he is upset i can tell.. i too am doing nc and its day1.. again longest i lasted was 6 days.. so i know where your at.. you need to do this to heal yourself.. maybe she will miss you then.. who knows? my heart cant take no more.. im done with the pain and the chase its time for me to be strong.. he has told me to move on.. but claims to love me! yeah right.. it hurts but you.. me.. we have to give "love" a chance if its meant to be it will be.. like me you have tried. im worth more than this pain im suffering as im sure you are too x
sailing Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 (Gee, I haven't bee on here long and I already feel I'm dishing out generic NC advice like some sort of heartless robot). Iwish, I feel for you because you sound so desperate, but you - if anyone - really need to stay NC and not just for a week. First of all, delete her off your Facebook - it's a particularly insidious form of contact. Secondly, send that scarf to her in the mail so you're no longer tempted to use it as an excuse/bait. Then get to work on your NC will-power. Actually, I think you could do with practicing your will-power and self-discipline in general; you were far too happy to bend over backwards for this girl and give too freely of yourself (and your money). Not saying it's a bad thing to be generous - unless it tempts people to take advantage of you of course. At the time, you probably thought it was worth it in return for her company, but once she was gone you would end up feeling used and short-changed. quote Why isn't she thinking of me?! Why wont she initiate contact. she just doesn't seem to miss me. I'm not taking your ex's side, I don't think she's handled this situation well, but - are these rhetorical questions or do you somehow feel entitled to her? That's not good. I also sense that you believe you could control this situation if you only got one more chance, one more date... I think you'd be going round in circles.
serendip Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 iwish What's the point of contacting her? ...you know how the story goes...you been here before...just reread your old threads
Author iwish Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Hey thanks guys, i was just letting of steam. I know making contact now will be counter productive and will only start me off from day one again.. And i want to get stronger not weaker.. Reaching a week will be a personal goal for me. A must do! I have this small voice in my head saying 'go on just text her, what will it hurt?' But like serendip says i know where this will go.. Maybe i'll get laid again (that would be great ) but then afterwards.. what? Back to square one.. i'm almost a week healed and this time i will succeed!! Yes damn it, i will!!! Sailing, i am not putting any of this onto her at all. It's all between us guys on here. I just rant when i need to. I do not feel like i am entitled to anyone or anything in this life. You can only be the best you can be and it hurts that my best wasn't good enough for her. I worked hard and got nothing. I failed. Just two more days and i will have broken my record, i will achieve that please let me achieve that!!
serendip Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 'go on just text her, what will it hurt?' Ummm.... -your ego and pride -your self-esteem -your ability to move on -you find out she's doing some dudes -kids will laugh at you in your dreams -you turn into YYY ...you know stuff like that
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