My friend is dating again

[sedgwick]

I have a friend who has been married to his wife for 18 years, and they separated last fall. She left him. He was totally destroyed. Six months ago he was trying to think of ways to get her back. Now I find out he's dating someone else and he's really happy.

 

He said to me, "Anyone new in the picture with you?" And I had to say no, I still love Joe, I'm pathetic.

 

Another friend who broke up with her bf the same week Joe dumped me (she did the breaking up but it was because they were fighting a lot, she was still very sad) is now dating someone else. Both of my friends were in significantly longer relationships than I was, and they've moved on and are happy. To me it still feels like he just left yesterday.

 

What is WRONG with me? It's not like I don't want to move on, but I just don't want to put up with anybody else's bullsh*t. Why give my trust over to someone again if people can't be trusted? Will I ever find anyone else attractive?

 

I've spent the past year walking around with a shell around me. I have totally taken myself out of a world in which romance is a possibility. I will never be able to trust again like I did before. I don't think I could open up to anyone if I wanted to.

 

I just want him. Goddammit. I know I need to go back out in the world and be social, but mostly I still just sit in my apartment writing all day. It just seems easier.

 

In other news, I have exactly one week left before I have to turn in the rewritten version of the book to my editor. My editor takes no prisoners. Please wish me luck!!!! I would like to think I'll turn this thing in and then my life will change somewhat -- I won't have it hanging over my head anymore.

[jerbear]

book! PM me with the book title when it comes out, I collect signed books.

 

Anyway, people move on at different speeds and time. Just go with the flow. I know what you mean, but you have to put yourself out there to ask and get asked out.

 

Ditch the coffee maker and go out for coffee. Instead of dinner go out for happy hour for a quick meal.

 

Go out when you travel, go see, do new things, try new restaurants, etc...

 

I think you can get over Joe.

[carrotgirl]

What is WRONG with me?

Nothing.

 

It's not like I don't want to move on, but I just don't want to put up with anybody else's bullsh*t.

Then don't! And You already know that you capable of that. Brava for your courage last week! Remember it. You were wonderful.

 

Why give my trust over to someone again if people can't be trusted?

When people prove they should not be trusted, revoke trust. That simple.

 

Will I ever find anyone else attractive?

Yes.

 

I've spent the past year walking around with a shell around me. I have totally taken myself out of a world in which romance is a possibility.

Romance is like Santa. It knows where you live. It will find you.

 

I will never be able to trust again like I did before. I don't think I could open up to anyone if I wanted to.

It's not ever the same with any two people, not even friends, but there will come a point where you will have a choice between opening up or not and you will choose. It could go either way and whichever way you choose will be right and good for you at that time.

 

Good luck with the edits! You're in the home stretch!

Carrot