Marcas75 Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Hello everyone, I'm new here and hopefully you people can help me to take the shadow away from my questions that bother me the last weeks. I met this girl through a community gathering a month ago. Very exotic, very beautiful and very smart with a great job and everything...can't really find something negative on her. She's 27 years old. I met her two times while on these gatherings. Then one friday I got an sms from her where she was telling me that she'll go out with a friend and whether I wanted to join. I joined, and by the end we kissed passionately and we ended to my place and had sex. It was great and she also seemed to enjoy it very much! I then left for a business trip for two weeks and as I had promised her I called her as soon as I was back. No previous communication during the trip from me or from her. We met again at a gathering...she was a little cold at the beginning and noone from the group did understand anything that something had happened between the two of us. But after some drinks we were hugging and kissing again and ended up to my place again! She suggested to meet next week. I called her (again) to arrange. All nice and happy. I took her out for a meal, paid for her, then out for some drinks, and by the end to my place. The next day I went for vacation for two weeks. Two whole weeks and no sign from her. Of course, I didn't contact her either cause I don't want to seem pushy cause she seems a woman with very strong opinions about guys and relationships in general and I don't want to do anything stupid that may make her thing I'm a loser that has lost his mind by her. I just got one sms two days before I return back where she were asking me a typical "how are you doing? we're arranging a gathering on fri, are you back by then? talk soon". And I replied her next day a typical reply ( at the same level as hers). Now...I've heard that women usually can't resist on calling the man, that they show a lot of interest and that everything is about not scaring of the man. I don't see this on her. It's the total silence that I get from her during those long periods when I'm not home or during the weeks. I don't think I've shown her any "loser" behaviour either because I also try and keep quiet but when I've promised I'd call then I just did. It's just that I would expect that she'd show more interest in me after those great nights. At least when we're together she seems really warm and happy and that she's having a great time... I'm very confused! Can you people tell me your opinion about this? Is there a possibilty she wants something more out of this? Thanks in advance!
Suiyobi Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Now...I've heard that women usually can't resist on calling the man, that they show a lot of interest and that everything is about not scaring of the man. I don't see this on her. It's the total silence that I get from her during those long periods when I'm not home or during the weeks. I don't think I've shown her any "loser" behaviour either because I also try and keep quiet but when I've promised I'd call then I just did. It's just that I would expect that she'd show more interest in me after those great nights. At least when we're together she seems really warm and happy and that she's having a great time... I'm on the same boat as you. This girl I'm interested in seems fun when she's around but when she isn't it's like I never get a phone call from her or anything. Like you, I don't want to call her too much because I don't want to appear as needy. It's really weird, this is the first girl that I know that can actually keep the silence, whereas the other girls I've known tend to call almost everyday. I guess you should take the situation for what it is. She has a life of her own so she's busy and doesn't have much time to call, or that she's not much of a phone person and would rather hang out than talk on the phone. Either way though, I don't think you should maintain the silence TOO long or eventually one of you is going to lost interest in the other.
Author Marcas75 Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Yes she might have her own life but she may also have changed her mind...there's one thing I haven't described that happened last time we had sex. We had unprotected sex (we are both tested actually and talked about it, would never do it without a condom before I know). But she doesn't have any contranceptive protection. Last time we had sex in the morning (which was the last time I saw her since I left the next day for vacation) I was so taken away that I think that an accident may had been caused...I wasn't that sure but I couldn't stop thinking about it. So as soon as she came to an orgasm and she was happy I stopped and I told her my concerns. She became very unhappy, didn't really say much but she lost her mood completely, I could see her face. She told me that there is the morning pill solution but that usually isn't a solution for "maybe" situations. All this morning we were having breakfast she was moody. Then my friends called, they had arranged for a basketball session and as I had promised I needed to go which made her even more sad. That was how I left her and in my mind I'm afraid that she may have had second thoughts about me and that I can't get trusted.
Author Marcas75 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Anyone else that can provide me with some more pearls of wisdom?
ls3360 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Anyone else that can provide me with some more pearls of wisdom? Since few others are replying, I'll post.... I can't say that I have enough positive experience to make a suggestion. Her being intensely connected when together and then nothing when apart has never ended well for me. It's usually meant there is someone else. But the fact that she actually felt "sad" suggests that she does care about you to SOME degree. The suggestion earlier about being silent too long is probably good. If you want to know if she wants more, nudge things forward a bit or show more interest and if she doesn't reciprocate, don't repeat for a while.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Yes she might have her own life but she may also have changed her mind...there's one thing I haven't described that happened last time we had sex. We had unprotected sex (we are both tested actually and talked about it, would never do it without a condom before I know). But she doesn't have any contranceptive protection. Last time we had sex in the morning (which was the last time I saw her since I left the next day for vacation) I was so taken away that I think that an accident may had been caused...I wasn't that sure but I couldn't stop thinking about it. So as soon as she came to an orgasm and she was happy I stopped and I told her my concerns. She became very unhappy, didn't really say much but she lost her mood completely, I could see her face. She told me that there is the morning pill solution but that usually isn't a solution for "maybe" situations. All this morning we were having breakfast she was moody. Then my friends called, they had arranged for a basketball session and as I had promised I needed to go which made her even more sad. That was how I left her and in my mind I'm afraid that she may have had second thoughts about me and that I can't get trusted. Pregnancy scare is horrible. She might have wanted a little bit more concern and support from you, but your running off to a basketball game made the situation worst. You could have offered to drive her to the clinic, or at least to the pharmacy for some morning after pills, but you took off and left her hanging.
BrooklynBridge Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Hello everyone, I'm new here and hopefully you people can help me to take the shadow away from my questions that bother me the last weeks. I met this girl through a community gathering a month ago. Very exotic, very beautiful and very smart with a great job and everything...can't really find something negative on her. She's 27 years old. I met her two times while on these gatherings. Then one friday I got an sms from her where she was telling me that she'll go out with a friend and whether I wanted to join. I joined, and by the end we kissed passionately and we ended to my place and had sex. It was great and she also seemed to enjoy it very much! I then left for a business trip for two weeks and as I had promised her I called her as soon as I was back. No previous communication during the trip from me or from her. We met again at a gathering...she was a little cold at the beginning and noone from the group did understand anything that something had happened between the two of us. But after some drinks we were hugging and kissing again and ended up to my place again! She suggested to meet next week. I called her (again) to arrange. All nice and happy. I took her out for a meal, paid for her, then out for some drinks, and by the end to my place. The next day I went for vacation for two weeks. Two whole weeks and no sign from her. Of course, I didn't contact her either cause I don't want to seem pushy cause she seems a woman with very strong opinions about guys and relationships in general and I don't want to do anything stupid that may make her thing I'm a loser that has lost his mind by her. I just got one sms two days before I return back where she were asking me a typical "how are you doing? we're arranging a gathering on fri, are you back by then? talk soon". And I replied her next day a typical reply ( at the same level as hers). Now...I've heard that women usually can't resist on calling the man, that they show a lot of interest and that everything is about not scaring of the man. I don't see this on her. It's the total silence that I get from her during those long periods when I'm not home or during the weeks. I don't think I've shown her any "loser" behaviour either because I also try and keep quiet but when I've promised I'd call then I just did. It's just that I would expect that she'd show more interest in me after those great nights. At least when we're together she seems really warm and happy and that she's having a great time... I'm very confused! Can you people tell me your opinion about this? Is there a possibilty she wants something more out of this? Thanks in advance! I look at it differently. You are not pursuing her. Women want to be pursued, chased, etc. I'm not saying you should sms her and tell you miss her and crap, that would be lame. But after hooking up with her a number of times now, and you're constantly traveling, she is DYING for you reach out her, say hello to her, tell you her you're excited to see her again. Stuff like that. You can't just go MIA and expect her to not think YOU'RE the one not really into her. Be a man, show some confidence and reach out to her, let her know that you're at least thinking about her and wanting to be with her.....
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