siris Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Forum: Need some insight. A few weeks ago I post a thread called is being the bigger person a silly idea. Which was about running into my ex who dumped me and trying to be the bigger person by saying hi and the reaction I recieved back from her was as if I dumped her- not good. Well I work in retail and upon leaving the store I seen my ex's son there was a big smile from him so I returned the smile with a smile and a hand gesture as in saying hi. @ this time I did not see my ex then all of a sudden I see her with her new mate. There was no eye contact with the two of them because they were looking @ something. But as I seen his profile I was like im not believing this- this is a guy she cheated on me with many years ago. Keep in mind that this was a 11year realationship in which I was around her son since he was 1 years old. I did not approch them I just wanted to leave asap. We have been apart for 11months now. I just feel that after being together that long it seemed like a low blow to come in the store with her new mate. I felt so small and disrespected. I felted as if she wanted me to see them together because there are two store of the same type in the town we live in. Not saying she has no right to be there but during this break up I have never seen her in that store and yes she knows that I work there and then the fact that its with a guy that she cheated with many years ago. It seems as if she is not statisfied with the pain that I have already been thur. Why would she continue to be this heartless. I still think 11months is still not enough time to heal with the ending of a 11 year realationship. Some of my friends think that she did this to get a reaction from me but I told them that they are wrong I think it was to hurt me even more since it was this guy. Sorry 4 being so long but please provide some insight; thanks!!!!!!!
kyta Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Who know what her motives were, but thinking about it wont help you, you still have emotions to deal with, i think the best thing to do is try to forget it, i know its hard but, think of a reason why will only confuse u more. If she cheated on you yrs b4 with this guy, then you are better off out of it, shes not worth it, i caught mine in bed with a guy 2 wks ago, and we had been split up a cpl days, still nc is good, having up and down days but holding strong. Just carry on with your life and forget this incident, what ever her reasons were for coming to your store.
Author siris Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Thanks so much 4 the reply Im just still in a state of shock. Two of my friends think that I shoul contact her maybe by email and let her know that this had an effect on me but I told them that I really dont want her to know that this had an effect on me I feel as if that would just feel her with more pride.
serratededges Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Look, it sucks and I know it would be so much easier to think that once she figures out how badly this hurts you, she will want to be back with you. Oddly enough, it will make her feel a little guilty but she will realize either a. she wants to be with you out of guilt or b. she wants to avoid you so you will feel better or she won't have to feel bad. Whether its due to stress or problems or anything else, the feeling is not the same as it was for her. I know everyone's situation is different but moving on is really the best thing no matter how hard it is. I wish you luck and i wish my ex felt about me the way you feel about her, so take it one day at a time.
sparktonSS Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I have heard more than once that it takes at least the same duration of the relationship to get over the person. If you were together for 11 years, it might take 11 years to get over it (but I highly doubt it..I would say three years max). Bro, she cheated on you. Forget her and everyone else. She is not worth the gum on the bottom of your shoe. She may have done it to hurt you more, maybe not. Just listen to me and every time you think of her, make yourself think of something else immediately. You need to get her out of your head.
Author siris Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 To all that have replied thanks a mill it helps so much. It is just so hard to walk around with my head up. I just wish I could smile or feel that there is some kind of justice in this universe. Right now I just feel like the biggest loser. 2 c her with someone she cheated with years ago just makees it worst. Please keep the replies coming its medicine 4 my soul and hopeful the same 4 other going thur something of this nature.
mimi326 Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I know how you are feeling, but it just takes time, in a few months, the feelings you are feeling now will become a distant memory and you'll be able to get on life as normal. The frequency in which you will think of her will get less and less until you feel release. I understand that you want to at this point to email her, write it out but don't send it, true feelings are only shared to those who care and are worth it. In a couple of weeks read the draft of that email and you'll be glad that you didn't send it!
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