alialui Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I wish he would come back... if it's meant to be... gosh... I miss him a week since I started NC
kizik Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Oh God, if all you do on a date is think about your ex, you're doing a disservice to your date, and yourself. Stop missing him. Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about fairy-tale concepts like "meant to be." And stop HOPING and WISHING. A lot of people of here agree that the number one key to start getting over a person, is to accept that THEY ARE NOT COMING BACK.
df273 Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 How long has it been since the break-up? If you still miss someone, i personally do not think its right to pursue others. Take a time-out and be you.
Author alialui Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 we broke up last october. but it was an impulsive breakup initiated by me. he begged me back. (he was the one who chased me for 4 months and we didn't have sex before the breakup) we got back together but after 4 days, i said some disrespectful thing and he broke up with me (i told him that i was not dating him considering marriage and called another guy marriage material. it was not true tho. that guy was not even dating material, and my ex was totally marrying type) after that I thought we were over. but he kept calling me and tried to help me out when something really bad happened to me several times new love interests were involved, but all of them were just rebounds. we still love each other and tried to get back together many times, but we ended up getting scared and fighting I want to be with him and i know we still love each other. but i really needed to get us out of this cycle of hurting each other back and forth. but I really wish we will have a chance to start a brand new relationship. I'll just surrender. I'll just wait for God to show me if he's the one or someone else. so i'm not gonna initiate contact. God i miss him, but i really think i should over him if i want to have a fresh new start with him later. if we get back together right now, we will go back to the bad cycle again please give me some support
Love_Forest Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I am in a similar situation like you. every time i go on a date I miss my ex. it seems there is pattern of "broke up - get back". I do not know how to solve the equation. I think your date is "the right one" you have to seek the next date.... Myself I was on several dates and i still did not find the right one and I am thinking to contact my ex. I do not think about any of my ex-dates I had since we split, I am not in contact with any of them. One date perhaps is not enough to find out if your ex is till the one..
wareagle Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Sucks to be you! Not trying to sound harsh, but You don't deserve this guy!
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I think that you are probably not ready to date. You broke up 8 months ago, but have only been NC for a week? Have you been clinging to the hope he'll come back the whole time? You need to let go before you date, it's not fair on your dates. Face the reality of your situation. You split, you've been in touch this whole time and nothing has changed. You need to move on emotionally before looking for a new relationship.
kladia Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I wouldn't go so far as to say you can't date...just try not to get too serious. If during a date you're missing your ex and not having fun, you probably wouldn't have had serious chemistry anyways. Good for you for getting back in the saddle again. I think it's great that your trying to get out and meet people. Maybe they'll be duds, maybe new friends, maybe a new love interest, but don't rush anything serious. If you rush things, THEN you're not being fair to your dates (it doesn't seem like you're doing this, so I think you're just fine). In my opinion a first date doesn't carry any expectations beyond just getting to know someone a bit. It'll probably help you too, if nothing else to get you into the mindset that you are "single" and "dating" again, not in a relationship. So in short, if you want to go on a date, go ahead, don't worry about it. Hopefully if you DO find someone you like you'll have learned from the mistakes you made in your last relationship. That being said, if you don't feel ready to date nothing wrong with calling up your girlfriends for a night out, or a dvd and microwave popcorn in. Sitting home alone doesn't help anything. You probably didn't have as much time for them in the relationship, so enjoy being single and hanging out with your friends now! The busier you are the less you'll think about him.
Author alialui Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 it was a stupid breakup. nonoe cheated, lied or lost interest in the other. we lost trust going thru many fights and hurting each other. we always missed each other and wanted to get back together. I realized that if we were in this cycle, it would keep undermining our attraction. so i got out of it. but, for some reason, I have a faith that he would contact me someday as he had alwayd done. even if he won't, that's fine. i'll think someone better is waiting for me. actually, i'm dating 2 guys and not willing to any of them seriously.
Love_Forest Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I think the you have to end the pattern , to find out how to not break again with him... I do not know how to do it... by dating other you will see if you really want him back...
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