jimbo Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Hi all, I wanted to get some advice on something. I am on Match.com, and was introduced to this wonderful lady. She's a couple years older than me, which is not a problem. Lives like 30 minutes away, again, not a problem. Things exchanged over the last few weeks via e-mail. Slow, but steady. Seems calculated to me. Waiting three or four days to respond to my e-mails. Each of our e-mails, back and forth, are pretty detailed and long; several paragraphs. So, it seems like she's interested. Anyways, in the last e-mail she mentioned that we should talk on the telephone. I said that is fine and replied with my number, and requested hers. She then replied the next morning with her number and said she'll call me or I can call her. What should I do? Should I be more calm and cool and wait for her call, or be more progressive and call her? I do not want her to think I am to anxious. It seems, by the times she takes in replying to e-mails, she likes to take things slow. Then again, not sure if this is a test or not in seeing who calls first. Anyone care to lend some advice??? Much thanks!
johan Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I wouldn't call her unless I was sure I was interested in her. And I wouldn't be sure about that, unless I had met her. I equate the phone to an anchor, and don't anchor myself for random people. So meet her, and then the decision whether or not to call will be no big deal.
Author jimbo Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Yes, I am interested, but seems she'd like to talk on the phone first before meeting. The question is, yes she gave me her number, and said I will call you Monday or Tuesday, but also left it open for me to call her. Is this a test to see how I would react?
johan Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Your decision whether to call or not should have nothing to do with what you think she thinks about it. If you want to talk to her then call. If you don't then don't. That's all you need to consider.
Author jimbo Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Very true. Next issue... What to talk about. Any pointers? Until I get to know a person, I am a bit awkward over the telephone. Just don't want the silence and to sound boring and such.
johan Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I just talk about whatever occurs to me. If you think about this too much, you're going to make it so you can't function on the call. She's not expecting Superman. Just you. Awkward silences and all.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Just grab your phone and call. Overthinking things will not make it any better. Personally I love it when the guy calls first, it shows he's interested.
imbewildered Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Much thanks! YOu need to call her, have some time alone with her and QUICKLY determine whether she is a keeper or not. I would take her reply time of THREE days to my emails as a mark against her. Dude, you need to get into the mindset of auditioning woman, and not wasting your time, money and resources (and hopes) on the lame, attention wh*res, married women looking for an ego boost, cougars and the emotionally disabled. THat leaves you with only a small pool to swim in. Get started today.
ibisflight Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Dude, you need to get into the mindset of auditioning woman, and not wasting your time, money and resources (and hopes) on the lame, attention wh*res, married women looking for an ego boost, cougars and the emotionally disabled. THat leaves you with only a small pool to swim in. Get started today. WOW... auditioning....and all those sad mental states.... My dear imbewildered... I am sorry you have met all the bad and evil women on the face of the earth. BUT I agree with you. He should CALL her, get that part over with. The voice can be a very telling thing - does she pause to spit? Keep dragging on a cancer stick? Is she articulate? Is the voice educated, well modulated? Does she sound like a whiny brat? a linebacker? Anyway calling is the key - just jump in. The telephone puts plenty of distance between you, AND you can both change your numbers if either one is a stalker.
Author jimbo Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 E-mail responses are getting faster. Its about a day or so. She's an admin at a SUNY college. Friday was her last day. Apologized for the the previous late replies too. Anyways, assuming the call progresses well, should I ask her to get a bite to eat, movies, etc? One main problem is we live 30 miles away from each-other. Do I suggest somewhere in the middle? Ask her for recs in her area? Suggest she come to my city? Screwed the last two relationships up cause I as too cautious. Trying to learn from my mistakes. Since this one is older (only 2 yrs), I am hoping she'd be a little more open in stating what she likes and dislikes. Trying to play it safe ruined the last one. The one before I was moving too fast... Very hard in reading women sometimes. This one seems to be playing it safe, which is fine. Just hoping not to screw it up. Thanks for all the feedback thus far.
Author jimbo Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 So we talked for about 1 1/2 hrs and it seemed to go well. Asked her out for the weekend, and she said yes. One problem though... Since we talking about everything I could think of, what do we talk about at dinner? There were no silent moments on the tel, and hope the same for the din. But, I think I covered all topics aside from religion and politics.
factually speaking Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Talk about your surroundings.. does she like this that, talk about her voice(since it didn't turn you off) poke a little fun at yourself, talk todays news, Carlin's demise, the latest red/blue political wars (today it was whether an attack would help McCain)whether the food is ok for her, does she cook, do you cook okok what? Chit chat. nothing important.
Author jimbo Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 Yea, I was so in to the conversation, I forgot about Carlin; damn shame. Guess it really is bad for ya. He will be missed. She seemed like she was interested in me. She was laughing and seemed to be having a good time. Why else would she stay on the tel for so long? OK, here's a really newbie question. How to end the date. I am not taking her home, we are both driving to meet at the restaurant. Forgive my nativeness. I've been away on three tours. So I am new at this; relatively speaking.
imbewildered Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 She seemed like she was interested in me. She was laughing and seemed to be having a good time. Why else would she stay on the tel for so long? . You been on three tours and you are agonizing whether some itty butty chick is liking you. ? She is a chick , not some regional Taliban hotshot who wants to knife you. Get a grip of your n*ts man. The issue here is whether she is good enough to date YOU. YOu got this deal all azz backwards. Two dates are usually enough to run a woman throught the audition process - but you need to know what to look for and what questions to ask her. It is like those job applications where the prospect goes back for a second interview. Most women will not make it past the first. That is why most guys who are savvy do not call after one date. Do you have any clue abiut what I am saying. ?
Author jimbo Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 I'll be honest, no, not really. Sorry to say, I do not know much about this dating stuff. As I said,I screwed up the first two this year because I was unsure what to do. Talking about the tours, well, is never a good thing.
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