Francesco Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 So like I said, me and the ex of 3 1/2 years split about nine months ago. She left me, and I have since become involved in another relationship. My ex and I have had very little contact in these nine months, but since the beginning of the summer we have been on somewhat friendly terms. We randomly talk through facebook or emails, but its nothing more than a "hows your family/how are you" sort of thing. Well two days ago we talked through facebook. For the first time in nine months she actually seemed genuinely interested in the things I have been doing and wished me luck with my new relationship. Because she is transferring to the college I attend in our hometown next year, she told me she expects to see me around a lot. Later that night I went downtown with my girlfriend and a group of her friends. At the end of the night we stopped to grab some food, and sitting right there by the door was my ex. Its only the second time i've seen her since we split, and the first time she has seen me with a new girlfriend. It was an awkward situation, and we didnt speak. I think it was hard for her to see me moved on and with a big group of people while she was only with one of her friends. The next day she sent me a facebook message continuing the conversation we had the day before...never mentioning seeing me. I figured I would apologize for not saying hey, and tell her given my situation it was best not to say anything to her in front of my girlfriend. She agreed, but then told me she misses me, but that its like missing a stranger. She told me she is reminded of me a lot and that its all hard getting used to. It shocked and confused me beacuse this girl broke my heart and told me she never wanted to talk to me again. Hearing this from her was such a bittersweet feeling. I told her I still miss her too, but life moves on, you ended it and now Im happily dating. She quickly responded with a "Im glad we arent together...we definitely weren't meant for each other." This confused and shocked me even more. I told her "yeah, probably not. Even if we were, the events that took place after our break up would never allow us to have a healthy relationship." She fired back with a big message telling me how next year she dosent want to hang out with me or see me...she dosent want to cause fights between me and my current gf. She told me we are exact opposites and could never be friends...and that she dosent think she really loved me. Basically, she contradicted most of what she has been telling me all week. Before, she was saying she will be seeing me all the time next year, that she missed me, thought about me, etc. Any help reading into this? Part of me still deeply cares about this girl, she broke my heart, and I'm not understanding what shes trying to do here.
df273 Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I wish i could advise on such a situation. I'm going to keep my eye on this thread tho, cuz i feel my break-up might come to this. It's been 4 weeks since my GF asked me to leave. Alot of ups and downs, but i could see my ex resorting to this, and i want to have some insight on how to handle it if it does occur.
tinke Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 It seems to be the ole reel him in..and let him go! Mixed messages, hence the confusion. Did she do this throughout the relationship with decisions, etc.?
Love_Forest Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I think she was very emotional after seeing you with your gf and your friends. Give sometimes to her, 1-2 weeks to see if she has still the same opinion.
D-Lish Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 I think she has mixed emotions after seeing you with someone new. The fireback messages indicate some anger- and where there is anger, there is still passion. I think it would be hard to take her initial response seriously because she had just seen you with your new girl. I am sure she is still processing that, hence the anger response. It's a defense mechanism- at least that is what is sounds like.
vivrantflo Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 She told me she is reminded of me a lot and that its all hard getting used to. It shocked and confused me beacuse this girl broke my heart and told me she never wanted to talk to me again. Hearing this from her was such a bittersweet feeling. This was her throwing you a line to see how much of an impact she still has on you... I told her I still miss her too, but life moves on, you ended it and now Im happily dating. She quickly responded with a "Im glad we arent together...we definitely weren't meant for each other." This confused and shocked me even more. This was you taking that very same line, and throwing it back at her.. and because she's immature, she lashes out with that stupid response.. I told her "yeah, probably not. Even if we were, the events that took place after our break up would never allow us to have a healthy relationship." She fired back with a big message telling me how next year she dosent want to hang out with me or see me...she dosent want to cause fights between me and my current gf. She told me we are exact opposites and could never be friends...and that she dosent think she really loved me. LOL You ex has the maturity level of a twelve year old. She felt the rejection from you, so she tries to regain power by saying she never loved you. What immature crap. Luckily, my ex's ex said that same foolish line to her, and it's worked heavily in my favour. You're showing her that you're happy without her.. which in turn, bruises her ego. She wasn't expecting that cause she wanted you to stroke it instead. Her reactions here, should not be getting you upset, they should be giving you a chubby.. She broke your heart, and now it's killing her to see that you've benefitted from the breakup. That's her damn problem. You have a new woman now. Put this other chick in the past, and concentrate on the great woman you're with right now. Your ex is drama.. trust me. NC and enjoy your girlfriend!!
TrustInYourself Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 So like I said, me and the ex of 3 1/2 years split about nine months ago. She left me, and I have since become involved in another relationship. My ex and I have had very little contact in these nine months, but since the beginning of the summer we have been on somewhat friendly terms. We randomly talk through facebook or emails, but its nothing more than a "hows your family/how are you" sort of thing. Well two days ago we talked through facebook. For the first time in nine months she actually seemed genuinely interested in the things I have been doing and wished me luck with my new relationship. Because she is transferring to the college I attend in our hometown next year, she told me she expects to see me around a lot. Later that night I went downtown with my girlfriend and a group of her friends. At the end of the night we stopped to grab some food, and sitting right there by the door was my ex. Its only the second time i've seen her since we split, and the first time she has seen me with a new girlfriend. It was an awkward situation, and we didnt speak. I think it was hard for her to see me moved on and with a big group of people while she was only with one of her friends. The next day she sent me a facebook message continuing the conversation we had the day before...never mentioning seeing me. I figured I would apologize for not saying hey, and tell her given my situation it was best not to say anything to her in front of my girlfriend. She agreed, but then told me she misses me, but that its like missing a stranger. She told me she is reminded of me a lot and that its all hard getting used to. It shocked and confused me beacuse this girl broke my heart and told me she never wanted to talk to me again. Hearing this from her was such a bittersweet feeling. I told her I still miss her too, but life moves on, you ended it and now Im happily dating. She quickly responded with a "Im glad we arent together...we definitely weren't meant for each other." This confused and shocked me even more. I told her "yeah, probably not. Even if we were, the events that took place after our break up would never allow us to have a healthy relationship." She fired back with a big message telling me how next year she dosent want to hang out with me or see me...she dosent want to cause fights between me and my current gf. She told me we are exact opposites and could never be friends...and that she dosent think she really loved me. Basically, she contradicted most of what she has been telling me all week. Before, she was saying she will be seeing me all the time next year, that she missed me, thought about me, etc. Any help reading into this? Part of me still deeply cares about this girl, she broke my heart, and I'm not understanding what shes trying to do here. It's called the art of defense. She's scared so now the barriers start blasting out of her voicebox. You want her? Kill her fears. You don't. Reinforce them by telling her you would break her heart into a million pieces with just a glance.
TrustInYourself Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 This was her throwing you a line to see how much of an impact she still has on you... This was you taking that very same line, and throwing it back at her.. and because she's immature, she lashes out with that stupid response.. LOL You ex has the maturity level of a twelve year old. She felt the rejection from you, so she tries to regain power by saying she never loved you. What immature crap. Luckily, my ex's ex said that same foolish line to her, and it's worked heavily in my favour. You're showing her that you're happy without her.. which in turn, bruises her ego. She wasn't expecting that cause she wanted you to stroke it instead. Her reactions here, should not be getting you upset, they should be giving you a chubby.. She broke your heart, and now it's killing her to see that you've benefitted from the breakup. That's her damn problem. You have a new woman now. Put this other chick in the past, and concentrate on the great woman you're with right now. Your ex is drama.. trust me. NC and enjoy your girlfriend!! This is good sh*t. Vivrant you are wise in the force.
Love_Forest Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 If you want her back you may try to tell to her you sorry you both meet in such situation, you did not want to happen that, say to her you did not want to hurt her in such way....and wait.....her response... if you do not want her say to her that is the reality you move on and you are happy with your life.....
justaman99 Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 This was her throwing you a line to see how much of an impact she still has on you... This was you taking that very same line, and throwing it back at her.. and because she's immature, she lashes out with that stupid response.. LOL You ex has the maturity level of a twelve year old. She felt the rejection from you, so she tries to regain power by saying she never loved you. What immature crap. Luckily, my ex's ex said that same foolish line to her, and it's worked heavily in my favour. You're showing her that you're happy without her.. which in turn, bruises her ego. She wasn't expecting that cause she wanted you to stroke it instead. Her reactions here, should not be getting you upset, they should be giving you a chubby.. She broke your heart, and now it's killing her to see that you've benefitted from the breakup. That's her damn problem. You have a new woman now. Put this other chick in the past, and concentrate on the great woman you're with right now. Your ex is drama.. trust me. NC and enjoy your girlfriend!! Flo nailed it on all points. Read this a few times.
Author Francesco Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 So get this...after I fired back a few messages, she responded with a simple "I think you severely misunderstood what I was saying." I told her "how, you were pretty straightforward." She then went on to tell me she only said those things because she thought I didn't want to be on good terms with her, and because she didnt want to mess up my current relationship. She told me she is so glad we are talking this out, and that she was sorry she said mean things in the messages the other day. This whole situation is just really confusing for me. I know deep down, this is the one person for me (if there is such a thing). I am happily dating again, but I dont think I could ever love anyone like I loved my ex. And now, after 9 months it seems like she is finally being nice to me and wanting to patch things up...at least as friends. She is transferrring to my college, we will be at the same school for two years. And this is a liberal arts college of less than 2,000. I am glad we are patching things up, but I am sensing that she might be regreting leaving me. And if that turns out to be the case, I am going to need some incredible advice from everyone. I'll keep updating.
vivrantflo Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Ok, I got some questions.. How long has it been between you and your new girlfriend?? Your ex saw that you had a new woman on Facebook. How soon after the breakup, did you start dating your current gf?? What were your ex girlfriend's reasons for breaking up with you?? You said when you went downtown with your girl, and friends.. that's when your ex saw you for the 2nd time since the breakup... when was the first time?? Did your ex date another guy (stupid question) after you two broke up?? I still think your ex is immature and has potential for causing drama.. but your answers to those questions would help me see this situation more clear.
Author Francesco Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 "How long has it been between you and your new girlfriend??" we dated for over 3 years. "Your ex saw that you had a new woman on Facebook. How soon after the breakup, did you start dating your current gf??" we have been dating for 2 months, so 7 months after the breakup "What were your ex girlfriend's reasons for breaking up with you??" our relationship became too routine, and she felt like she couldnt be herself around me anymore and had to conform to my lifestyle since i was a little bit older "You said when you went downtown with your girl, and friends.. that's when your ex saw you for the 2nd time since the breakup... when was the first time??" about 3 months ago. i ran into her when i went to an alumni event at our old high school "Did your ex date another guy (stupid question) after you two broke up??" no one officially. she talked to a few guys but never took it further.
Author Francesco Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 okay i just got another message...im going to copy and paste certain parts of it on here. tell me what you think. "i really like talking to you.. it makes me sad. no, i loved you. i never hated you.. you KNOW me. you know the extremes i go through to get over someone.. just completely detaching myself from it all... our relationship wasnt torture for me.. i promise. i meant that at the end we were just hurting each other .."torturing" for not talking it through. we just relied so much on the strengths of the beginning that we failed to see that we both had changed soo much toward the end and that our relationship had changed too.. not bad but different than it was in the beggining. and neither of us were happy with who we were! you know?? so it reflected in our relationship. i was too afraid of losing you so i never stood up for myself.. which made you mad bc all you wanted me to do was just that.. tell you how i really felt.. the break up killed me. and i never imagined it to be so bad... im soooo sorry i hurt you.. it kills me.. i have never had a best friend like you.. and i hope i find someone who can be half the friend to me that you always were.. please talk to me next year.. when the time permits.. i know sometimes it wouldnt be the right idea. its crazy because we're so different now.. in the sense that we went from spending 365 days per year for three years together and going from that to nothing for nine months is crazy, it makes you feel like your going insane and imagining it all.. do you feel like that? i know that whoever i end up with i wont make the same mistakes i did with you with him.. i was selfish with you and did a lot i wish i never had done... im sorry for the pain i caused you.. but we had laughs too.."
ate_the_paint Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Damn! That is quite the message! I am curious to read flo's take on this. If it means anything she definitely wants you back. You need to figure out why. And you need to figure out if she's only going to cause more trouble in the future. I think flo is right, however. This girl is drama. But my fiance just left me two months ago and if she sent me an email like that I would definitely melt. Tough choices. I don't envy you. Just remember not to hurt the girl you're with, whatever you do.
Author Francesco Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 haha well Flo...give me some of your wisdom man. I need it bad. This might be the only time she says this kind of stuff to me. I do believe this girl is the love of my life, but I dont know how to read into this.
vivrantflo Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Francesco, tough spot you're in my man..lol.. I experienced something quite similar to this. Bear with me as I digress..lol A year and a half ago, my ex dumped me, she got another dude right after.. and teased me with a return the whole time.. for months... when I decided to move on, I started dating another great girl.. My ex found out I was dating.. she had previously separated from her man, and started persuing me again. Thing was, I was 1 month into a new relationship. I wanted my ex back so bad, but I didnt want to hurt this new girl... I had a decision. I ended up dumping the new girl for no reason, and went for my ex.. after a week, she played me, and went back to her ex, and I was left there lookin like a jackass... of course, the woman that I hurt, was shooken.. rightfully so, and didnt want me after that. What my ex and your ex have in common.. is that they are both immature.. however you got much more of an apology and a somewhat offer at reconciliation than I did.. so your situation is tough. The thing is.. she gave you the reasons for the break up.. that being.. things were routine..she couldnt be herself, and she had to conform to you. With that being said, if you two got back together, what has changed about your lifestyle and her thought process and position in life.. that would allow a second chance to work?? You two miss each other yes, but a relationship ends for a reason.. and nothing has changed in any of you, for those previous "problems" to just go away... see what I mean?? This is why everyone on Loveshack, always instructs dumpees to move on with their lives and date. You did that, and because you did, you are now sooooo much more attractive to your ex, cause you've shown her that you dont need her to be happy. Im sure she does love you man, but where was this speech before you got a new girlfriend??? That's what worries me. I wouldn't want you to experience what I did.. break up with this innocent girl, go back to your ex, just for her to dump you again 4-5 months down the road. It's a tough call, cause her email was very heartfelt, and just recently I received a response like that from my ex, and it made my stomach drop.. It really is tough man. You love your ex, she loves you.. but it's just her motivation to spill everything out now, is what concerns me. I would recommend staying with the girl you're with.. but ultimately.. you have to be honest with yourself, and ask how you really feel about her. Do you see great potential in your relationship? Or is she just a nice girl, that's killing time for you? Your ex's email seems heartfelt, and THAT particular email appears to be more than just a "line" she's throwing out.. it's a tough call lol.. How do you feel about the woman you are with now?? Honestly??
justaman99 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Damn! Just remember not to hurt the girl you're with, whatever you do. Two-way street bro. Protect your heart as well. Women can hurt men just as well.
Author Francesco Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Francesco, tough spot you're in my man..lol.. I experienced something quite similar to this. Bear with me as I digress..lol A year and a half ago, my ex dumped me, she got another dude right after.. and teased me with a return the whole time.. for months... when I decided to move on, I started dating another great girl.. My ex found out I was dating.. she had previously separated from her man, and started persuing me again. Thing was, I was 1 month into a new relationship. I wanted my ex back so bad, but I didnt want to hurt this new girl... I had a decision. I ended up dumping the new girl for no reason, and went for my ex.. after a week, she played me, and went back to her ex, and I was left there lookin like a jackass... of course, the woman that I hurt, was shooken.. rightfully so, and didnt want me after that. What my ex and your ex have in common.. is that they are both immature.. however you got much more of an apology and a somewhat offer at reconciliation than I did.. so your situation is tough. The thing is.. she gave you the reasons for the break up.. that being.. things were routine..she couldnt be herself, and she had to conform to you. With that being said, if you two got back together, what has changed about your lifestyle and her thought process and position in life.. that would allow a second chance to work?? You two miss each other yes, but a relationship ends for a reason.. and nothing has changed in any of you, for those previous "problems" to just go away... see what I mean?? This is why everyone on Loveshack, always instructs dumpees to move on with their lives and date. You did that, and because you did, you are now sooooo much more attractive to your ex, cause you've shown her that you dont need her to be happy. Im sure she does love you man, but where was this speech before you got a new girlfriend??? That's what worries me. I wouldn't want you to experience what I did.. break up with this innocent girl, go back to your ex, just for her to dump you again 4-5 months down the road. It's a tough call, cause her email was very heartfelt, and just recently I received a response like that from my ex, and it made my stomach drop.. It really is tough man. You love your ex, she loves you.. but it's just her motivation to spill everything out now, is what concerns me. I would recommend staying with the girl you're with.. but ultimately.. you have to be honest with yourself, and ask how you really feel about her. Do you see great potential in your relationship? Or is she just a nice girl, that's killing time for you? Your ex's email seems heartfelt, and THAT particular email appears to be more than just a "line" she's throwing out.. it's a tough call lol.. How do you feel about the woman you are with now?? Honestly?? yeah, this is just really complicated. I asked her why now, why after nine months of nothing are you suddenly giving me this information...she said "im all about timing, you know that...and before the timing wasn't right." so then I asked if she was just clearing her conscience and getting it off her chest or if she is sincere. she said "I just think you deserve an explanation for everything, i really mean what I say." Because she is basing a lot of what she is saying off of my reaction to what she says, I cant tell if she is waiting for me to say something that gives her the go-ahead to open up and tell me how she feels... To answer your question about the girl im with now. She is a really great girl and I am happy with her, but I dont know if I can ever love her, at least not like my ex. I know its wrong, but even after everything my ex has done, my feelings for her havent changed in the least bit and I dont know why. If I know I am still in love with the ex, should I say something to her? I dont want to take a gamble like that without being sure what Im doing is right.
sunshinegirl Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 If I know I am still in love with the ex, should I say something to her? I dont want to take a gamble like that without being sure what Im doing is right. How about not stringing your current girlfriend along? If you don't think you can love her, why are you with her? Are you only going to keep her around until you get a better offer from your ex? That's cruel and selfish.
Author Francesco Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 How about not stringing your current girlfriend along? If you don't think you can love her, why are you with her? Are you only going to keep her around until you get a better offer from your ex? That's cruel and selfish. Thanks for making those assumptions, but no...This is a break up forum so Im only discussing what? My break up. So before you pass judegement on whats cruel and selfish think for a second about the forum we're in, and then look at your post, and then realize you are trying to deamean something you know nothing about. Im not seeking advice on my current relationship, nor have I given the details of that relationship, and until I have, I would appreciate refraining from misguided statements. The relationship I am in now isn't built on a foundation of something me or my current girlfriend thought would end up being true love. We both went into it coming out of tough relationships. We only planned to date for the summer, and if things worked out, try the long distance thing when she moves in August. Im trying to get advice on a serious situation, obviously, so if you cant contribute and tell me something helpful, then I don't know why you are posting on this thread. I have a great time with my girlfriend now, we have a lot of fun, we are happy, but I dont tell her I love her. She knows how rough my past break up was on me. Its not a big secret...If I were telling her I love her, it would be a different story and what you posted might hold some validity. But thats simply not the case, but thanks anyway. I dont make false promises and I'm not leading this girl on in any way.
vivrantflo Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I asked her why now, why after nine months of nothing are you suddenly giving me this information...she said "im all about timing, you know that...and before the timing wasn't right." so then I asked if she was just clearing her conscience and getting it off her chest or if she is sincere. she said "I just think you deserve an explanation for everything, i really mean what I say." She says she's all about timing... before the timing wasn't right (when you were single, and she was dating around) and now the timing is supposedly right after she finds out you have a woman?? Hmmm I'd be really careful about this girl.. Because she is basing a lot of what she is saying off of my reaction to what she says, I cant tell if she is waiting for me to say something that gives her the go-ahead to open up and tell me how she feels... Half of me wants to say ask her how she really feels about you.. but the other half is telling me not to play her "game" of speaking about feelings.. cause that can, and will play a role in your current relationship.. which is probably what your ex is trying to do.. in a passive-aggressive way.. make sense? To answer your question about the girl im with now. She is a really great girl and I am happy with her, but I dont know if I can ever love her, at least not like my ex. I know its wrong, but even after everything my ex has done, my feelings for her havent changed in the least bit and I dont know why. Your feelings haven't changed for your ex, cause the relationship didn't end on your terms. But this is a time when you have to separate your emotions from your brain. You still love her, and it's possible that she may want you back.. but even if that is so, would that be the correct move?? And in your current gf's defense, you haven't been with her long enough to love her.. so it's not fair to compare her to your ex in that sense.. it's only been two months, and so far, by what you've said, the relationship is going great. Why ruin a sure thing, for something thats very uncertain? Still a tough call.. but being honest... if I was in your shoes, I'd like to know how my ex is feeling about me.. so it's hard for me to tell you not to find out. It's tough man...lol one of the trickiest stories I've come across on here.. but something deep down doesnt really trust your ex's motives and true intentions
orangehose Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I have to agree with the wisdom of vivrantflo, here. Your ex opening up AFTER seeing you happily moved on to another girl is VERY suspect. If I were you, I'd stay with the current girl. You'd be really kicking yourself if you dumped her, got back with the ex, THEN got dumped again at some point, AND you'd feel guilty for hurting an innocent party. Just see how this new relationsihp plays out.
vivrantflo Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 The relationship I am in now isn't built on a foundation of something me or my current girlfriend thought would end up being true love. We both went into it coming out of tough relationships. We only planned to date for the summer, and if things worked out, try the long distance thing when she moves in August. Ok, I didn't know this was the dynamic of your current relationship. Wow dude your situation is something else!! lol.. Well, not all relationships start with the intentions of becoming a married couple in the near future.. a lot of relationships start out casual, and then develop into something much deeper. I just think what you have with your girl now is good, and to end it could be a mistake. At the same time.. you both put a "trial period" on your relationship which I suppose would allow you to make a cleanish break if you wanted to. But what if she's attached to you?? What if she's actually falling in love with you but hasn't voiced it yet. In either way, you're going to see your ex a lot in the fall when you go to school.. Ok, you have to ask yourself this man... and be honest. Can you see yourself with your current girlfriend for a long time?? Can you see you yourself giving the relationship a fair chance to actually succeed? Or is this more a less a relationship to have female companionship for the summer?? Cause yes, being single in the summer blows pinwheels... If the answer is yes, then you need to separate yourself from your ex again, and concentrate fully on the woman you are with. But 100% into making it work, and let your current girl know thats how you feel. That you do want her, and that u do want to make it work. If the answer is no. What you should do, is be honest with your current girl, and let her know that your ex has re appeared into your life and you're confused about your feelings about her. Now your ex may react two different ways.. she may appreciate your honesty and take a step back so you can get your emotions in check...OR she may be hurt cause shes falling for you.. and didn't expect you to want your ex back. Regardless... you wouldnt see her long term, so the relationship would have to end... better sooner than later. Do you see yourself in a possible long term relationship with your current girl?? Keeping in mind, you've only been together for 2 months.
Author Francesco Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 Ok, I didn't know this was the dynamic of your current relationship. Wow dude your situation is something else!! lol.. Well, not all relationships start with the intentions of becoming a married couple in the near future.. a lot of relationships start out casual, and then develop into something much deeper. I just think what you have with your girl now is good, and to end it could be a mistake. At the same time.. you both put a "trial period" on your relationship which I suppose would allow you to make a cleanish break if you wanted to. But what if she's attached to you?? What if she's actually falling in love with you but hasn't voiced it yet. In either way, you're going to see your ex a lot in the fall when you go to school.. Ok, you have to ask yourself this man... and be honest. Can you see yourself with your current girlfriend for a long time?? Can you see you yourself giving the relationship a fair chance to actually succeed? Or is this more a less a relationship to have female companionship for the summer?? Cause yes, being single in the summer blows pinwheels... If the answer is yes, then you need to separate yourself from your ex again, and concentrate fully on the woman you are with. But 100% into making it work, and let your current girl know thats how you feel. That you do want her, and that u do want to make it work. If the answer is no. What you should do, is be honest with your current girl, and let her know that your ex has re appeared into your life and you're confused about your feelings about her. Now your ex may react two different ways.. she may appreciate your honesty and take a step back so you can get your emotions in check...OR she may be hurt cause shes falling for you.. and didn't expect you to want your ex back. Regardless... you wouldnt see her long term, so the relationship would have to end... better sooner than later. Do you see yourself in a possible long term relationship with your current girl?? Keeping in mind, you've only been together for 2 months. I appreciate the help. I mean I am very compatible with my current girlfriend and she does make me happy. I think a lot of my doubts are just there because this is the first somewhat serious relationship i've been in since my ex. I can see myself with her, not as far as marriage of course, or at least not yet, but I can see myself dating her and seeing where it goes. This whole situation is just life you know? As soon as I am feeling happy and comfortable again, something happens to knock me off course. I think I might try to see how my ex feels about me, for my own personal reasons, but not really do anything with it. I will do it for peace of mind, but not throw away what I have now for something I have already had. Now, If my ex can tell me the most moving, heat-felt apology ever, then who knows how I would react. Im not pretending to predict how I will feel if she does want me back, but for now Im going to date the new girl for the remainder of the summer and put my efforts into that. I will see my ex in the fall, and will be around her everyday for two years...If anything is supposed to happen, it has plenty of time to. What ever is supposed to happen will happen I guess, and there is no need to force something. If my ex is someone I truly love, I believe it will circle back around. If not, someone else will...and maybe the girl I'm currently dating is that someone.
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