ls3360 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 So how do YOU forget about your ex's? I'm a 43yo guy. I met a gal recently and we hit it off really really really well. We began making plans for the future, but then we hit a snag. She wasn't ready to leave her boyfriend. (She was about to leave him when we first met and then I found out later she had not after we reconnected for a while. This all happened very quickly.) Anyway, we've decided that despite things being really good between us, that she needs to finish what she started with her boyfriend first. To keep things "simple" for both of us, we've decided not to communicate until she works out whatever she's going to be doing with her boyfriend. Unfortunately, I can't get my mind off her. Oddly I'm not in emotional agony, but I am in an unproductive limbo. If I don't try to distract myself, she and her dilemma is on my mind about 95% of my waking hours. Even if I distract myself, my mind eases right back to her as soon as the distraction is less compelling. I'm getting pretty tired of keeping my mind actively distracted all the time. It wears me down. This is cutting down on my productivity at work, etc since my life+work are often not as compelling as her and her situation. So what can I do? I don't want to hate her because we might be getting together in a few days, weeks or months. Friends have been of limited help as distractions. I don't really want to mourn my loss of her either since I might not have lost her and mourning might make the second try harder. Anyway, I'm not sure if I can be helped, but I'm curious about how other people forget their (ex-)significant others when they need to? Mr T
Lucky555 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I feel your pain. However, its not easy but remind yourself of making yourself healthy. its not a good benefit to think so much because it just cause you distress. Distress= unproductive with your daily life activities, mind, and well-being. I strongly advise that you partake in leisure activities such as a sport or class. I think its the longing for the person you can't have that gets to you the most. I think that shes probably a great person but not with you for other reasons. YOU cannot put your life on hold just because she needs to straighten things out. You must keeping living and in order to do this I think you really have to get away from everything that reminds u of her too. Having no contact and knowing the might is probably driving u crazy! Imagine this, your doing something that you enjoy and all of a sudden a wonderful women enters your life that does not need to straighten things out with anyone and only wants to be with you? PRESTO! You may have met your match. There are many opportunities in this world don't let people hold u back or mess up your mind like this. Yes i bet this woman is a great person but clearly shes UNAVAILABLE. In the mean time you should move on, hey she may come around and she may not. Or u may be taken and she has missed out. This is how u keep your mind off her MOVE ON. Its going to be hard and its going to take effort but you must try.
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