sultry33 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 hi well after a good night out.. bit too much to drink i texted him.. text 1 me.. i hate this.. i miss u so much.. i try an be strong but deep down i miss u.. people say forget him as he dont want u but i really love uan this is hard. i will give u time an space but i have not moved on please dont think that.. im doing what i think is best xxx text 2 sorry i know you prob fast asleep but i find it hard without u.. i do have others interested in me but they are not u an no matter what its u i miss.. i wish it didnt have to be this way.. why does it have to be all or nothing.. i cant move on like u seem to want me too.. i cant when i love u so much.. im not normally like this but u have my heart babe an nothing is going change that. i will not contact u again although this hurts like hell.. i need to let u go.. i know this.. im sorry i love u so much xxx its how i feel but my feelings cannot rule u . u need to do whats best for you.. they was at 3am.. yes i know it was really bad. woke up 11am.. text 3 sorry i wrote that cant be strong everyday xxx him.. u dont have to apologise.. as u said you werent drunk texting.. i know its difficult, we both know that by the conversation the other night. i i love u2 and always will.. u have begun to do things to move on and i think u should as the way things are. things arent going to change anytime soon are they so we both need to face facts xx me.. yea i know buts its hard to do.. i felt like i cheated just by kissing.. how is that right.. i would wait if i thought u wanted us to be together.. even if we dont live together.. but i think you dont want that.. what do we do now? stop all contact.. forever.. no more meeting up? its not what i want but maybe you do.. i hate that we have turned out like thisxxx him.. it hurt inside when i knew you'd been kissings others but at the same time i understood why it happened.. i cant see things changing any time soon an its not fair keeping u hanging on till things change or asking u2 as it could b days, months or yrs yet.. seeing each other now isnt going to work as already proved as you,ve already kissed others . it will only mean eventually something more will happen so im telling u to move on. from here if we,re meant to be together then fate will decide but for now thats it. its my fault im so busy but its my coping mechanism and i couldnt handle between us meeting up u having slept with someone else. take care of yourself and know i love you more xxx me.. ok i understand and its the right thing to do. i will always miss u and love u.. we tried.. if u ever need to talk please do so.. take care of yourself too ok. my heart hurts an i need to look after it so for now its goodbye sexy bum;) keep busy it will help xxx after this i was bit tearful.. but i will be ok im going out tonight so this is day one of NC for me wish me luck x
serratededges Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Well, I have faith that you can do it. I am on day one of no contact as well, but this is the first day since the break up I am out of denial. Good Luck.
Abomination Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Day 2 for me, so we're in the same boat. The good thing is you went out. At least you tried to have some fun, right?! I think, one day, you'll remember the texts you sent and think, "Wow... that was dumb. I should have just moved on!" At least that's what I keep telling myself. Chin up, and hang in there! "Whether you think you CAN or you CAN'T, you're always RIGHT." - Henry Ford
serendip Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It's been almost 3 months of complete NC for me(no emails, texts, calls, googling...etc)...it helps a lot in the healing process. You have to go cold turkey or else...the wound won't heal. It also helps that I was strong enough to ignore her last attempt at contact in early May. There are some days I feel sad that we will be strangers in the future...but it is needed for me to heal from her cheating...else I would be stuck in a never ending cycle.
Issues & tissues Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It's been almost 3 months of complete NC for me(no emails, texts, calls, googling...etc)...it helps a lot in the healing process. You have to go cold turkey or else...the wound won't heal. It also helps that I was strong enough to ignore her last attempt at contact in early May. There are some days I feel sad that we will be strangers in the future...but it is needed for me to heal from her cheating...else I would be stuck in a never ending cycle. It's been just a little over 3 months for me too of complete NC. He has tried calling a couple of times during those three months and I must admit that it was very hard not to pick up the phone on those occasions. On some days (like today) I miss him tremendously and the pain is excruciating. On other days I feel strong, confident, independent and question why we didn't break up sooner. We were together for 10 years, almost 11, in fact. I know that it's going to take me a long time to process the hurt he caused me and the damage he has done. My mantra is "one day at a time!".
serendip Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It's been just a little over 3 months for me too of complete NC. He has tried calling a couple of times during those three months and I must admit that it was very hard not to pick up the phone on those occasions. On some days (like today) I miss him tremendously and the pain is excruciating. On other days I feel strong, confident, independent and question why we didn't break up sooner. We were together for 10 years, almost 11, in fact. I know that it's going to take me a long time to process the hurt he caused me and the damage he has done. My mantra is "one day at a time!". It's been a little over a year since our break up...and I'm still processing the pain of being cheated on. I never even thought my ex was the type. This was our second chance at it after disappearing from each other's lives for 8 years. I was absolutely sure she was the one for me. She always told me she's never been happier with another person(she still told me this after the break up)...and I made sure she felt loved every day we were together. But I know in time it will get better.
Abomination Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It's been a little over a year since our break up...and I'm still processing the pain of being cheated on. I never even thought my ex was the type. This was our second chance at it after disappearing from each other's lives for 8 years. I was absolutely sure she was the one for me. She always told me she's never been happier with another person(she still told me this after the break up)...and I made sure she felt loved every day we were together. But I know in time it will get better. So she's gone again?
serendip Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 So she's gone again? Well I guess you can say that. I mean I could contact her if I wanted to....she text me in May("How r yu doing was just thinking of yu today") but I never replied. I suppose if I wanted to contact her I could but I don't see the point since she has a boyfriend and there is just too much damage for us to fix(she cheated, I forgave her and then she went behind my back with the same guy and I went nuts b/c I fought so hard to forgive her). It is sad when someone who meant the world to me is now a distant memory and will only become more distant as time goes by. I don't think there will be a 3rd chance for us given what happened.
Abomination Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 You're right. Everyone deserves at least ONE chance, even a second one. But a third is, in my opinion, a bit too much. Especially if you go through something like what you're talking about here. My ex "sort of" cheated on me too, I forgave her, but we still ended up going our separate ways (I dumped her), because it was a bit too much for me. I never f***ing expected something like that from HER. I'm sure you feel the same way. This chick still tries to contact me here and there, just to check on me. She always asks me if I'm dating. I always say yes, even if I'm not, just to piss her off. I want her to know that I don't need her. I think you should continue to do what you have been doing so far. She cheated on you twice. That's just not right, man. She thinks she can use you as her doormat? F**k that! Move on. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Yes, it's a sad thought to have. You probably spent some good times with this girl, and now you have to deal with this garbage. On the up side, though, I don't think there's ONE person in this world who hasn't had a failed relationship. Learn from this, and it'll just become another experience of the past that has helped make you wiser. Right now it's tough. Easier said than done, BUT! A lot of us are in the same boat. - A
df273 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Wow, i really evny the "no contact" you guys are maintaining. Right now im in the mist of moving things out. Even at that, she still contacts me at work. I'm in IT, and she is in so-to-say a sub-department of ours. I actually just got an e-mail from her about 20min ago. Strictly work related, but it still is contact. I don't know yet if it bothers me. We will see in time.
Author sultry33 Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 hi guys/girls:) well i was bad last night.. one last text.. crazy idea yes..was i hoping he would say.. ok i dont love you.. your right.. hurts that much more when we didnt really argue.. and he still loves me. didnt cheat or anything.. just our lives mean we wont be together. well i decided this morning im going get through this.. deleted his number and luckily he didnt reply to my last yes "drunk" text.. sometimes i do think that i should have gone nc right from the start but then i would not have known the "pain" he was going through too.. would have thoght we ended for other reasons.. would not have known that yes he does look rd for me at car shows.. would not have had those last few times together.. where i was strong. the last cuddle i held him that bit longer.. as for me i knew i was not coming back.. so now nc is the way for me to go.. to all those starting this journey.. we will get through this.. as another poster says one day at a time.. and as another said.. yeah i will look back and think im dumb for sending them texts.. crying too much.. wasting too much time thinking an thinking.. but with every situation you learn.. thanks for being so supportive x
Author sultry33 Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 i feel really sad today.. tears an everything.. why? i knew it was coming.. i made it happen this time with nc.. was just sitting there earlier watching big brother.. all of a sudden i had a kinda flashback.. day dream moment.. that he was looking at me saying he made a mistake, he wants to come back.. wtf is up with me i really want to return to myself.. previously i wouldnt have given him the time of day .. well maybe him but other exs i walked away from.. why cant i do it now. i really miss us. keep thinking i did the wrong thing.. maybe i should have given him time.. i dont know i feel more confused than ever today.
serratededges Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I think everyone starts questioning should of, would of, could of, but in the end the results are still the same. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. If our ex's don't feel the way they used to and we did what we could mostly, then it sadly simply isn't meant to be for the time being. I know we all will get through this. Don't feel so bad about the text, i actually dialed #67 so i could hear my ex's voice. I have never ever done that to anyone, and its childish and sad. Luckily that was the only time I did it and I won't anymore so he won't know. You can do this and so can all of us because we deserve better. Stay strong....
kyta Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Well last nite and today its hit me hard again, i thought i was ok the last wk, i thought i was dealing with it, but today i cracked, still doing nc, but i have be crying today, the pain is bad, i can feel my whole body pulse, i have anxiety today as well, and i still have to face court yet, and all i think of is for 7 yrs i took her and 5 children on, loved all of them as my own, loved her, gave her evrything i could, and i know i have some faults, im not perfect, but i did the good by her, and now it over, she has her new guy, i still have to go to court over her, and she could help me not have to go, all she has to do is drop her statment against me, she wont gain anythnig by carying on the lies, so why wont she drop them and let us both move on, i feel like cra* dont know what to think, i have all the answers in my head, but cant get focused on movibg on, i actuly feel like i would like her back, but i know we cant have what was b4, i think ill go have a cry and get some of it out.
Author sultry33 Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 thanks for your replies.. really helps even if it kicks my butt.. when we 1st broke up i used to call his voice mail but then couldnt speak for crying.. crazy huh.. must be really bad having to face them in court when they have someone else 7yrs is along time too i hope it goes ok for you.. ive been cleaning, now sorting through my clothes.. may as well use his drawers.. only taken me 3 months:eek: im trying to change the way my bedroom feels.. bought new toys;) wont actually need a man for a while:D bought cereise colour duvet satin set.. wow flowers lol.. its a start eh hugs to all x
critter909 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Feel your pain. Last three days have been incredibly hard for me too. NC for 8 days.... I didn't cry for at least a week until last night. I really broke down and had the water works flowing again. Just so damn sad. Thank god for LS!
Author sultry33 Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 Feel your pain. Last three days have been incredibly hard for me too. NC for 8 days.... I didn't cry for at least a week until last night. I really broke down and had the water works flowing again. Just so damn sad. Thank god for LS! yea thank god for this place.. i just say i have really bad hayfever.. lol ive never had it.. but people around me just dont get the loss i feel.. maybe its because there are others interested in me.. maybe because i have brave face.. but here i can let it out and get support which is great for me. im so glad tomorrow is the start of my weekend.. can get out an have some fun.. and hopefully feel better next week. been thinking this way for months though. i hope you have somewhere to go critter, let off a bit of steam and stuff i hate these tears.. hugs to you x
critter909 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Interestingly I miss him most when I'm having fun. I think he should be there with me, I've done everything with him for almost 10 years. It really wasn't bad until the very end when there were a lot of extenuating circumstances. I don't hate him, I wish I was angry, I wish I hated him.
stolenheart123 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Yes no one in my life really understands the loss I am feeling, but I guess I really do put on a brave face. Its the times that I am alone is when I shatter inside. Thank god for my job and that I work lots of hours a week. Its not like I can slack, because then my business would suffer. Critter909 and sultry33 hang in there. Keep busy and be strong, focus on moving on and making you happy because you deserve it.
df273 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Interestingly I miss him most when I'm having fun. I think he should be there with me, I've done everything with him for almost 10 years. It really wasn't bad until the very end when there were a lot of extenuating circumstances. I don't hate him, I wish I was angry, I wish I hated him. I am the exact same way. I want her to be there for the laughs and all. It only seems right for her to be there. I get really upset when I realize I miss her so much. I too wish I hated her or something, to make things easier.
kizik Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Go ahead and hate. Get angry. These are important steps. The fact is that your exes were not that great to you, or they wouldn't have let you get away. Undoubtedly they have mistreated you, and you need to think about those things to realize that they are far from perfect and most likely undeserving of your love.
Author sultry33 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Go ahead and hate. Get angry. These are important steps. The fact is that your exes were not that great to you, or they wouldn't have let you get away. Undoubtedly they have mistreated you, and you need to think about those things to realize that they are far from perfect and most likely undeserving of your love. yea i agree, atm though i just feel sad.. sad that he didnt love me enough to ride the ride of life.. i really want to get angry with him but its hard for me as generally im not an angry girl. was talking to a "friend" last night you know a guy i talk to but thats all! lol he said how come you dont ever get with anyone? how come a girl like you is single? i just said im taking time out.. just ended a relationship been out of for 3 months an you know i need me time to heal.. was 1st time i could speak about it an not get sad.. for me thats a big step. he said you know he has lost so much.. i said yep he sure has.. an you know he has. i loved him , respected him, basically idololised him.. we fitted, had mostly same interests.. i never critised him, never really argued, if we did it was short lived. i looked after him.. was the best sex he had.. was kinky.. norty, loving, happy, safe, spontaneous.. exciting.. did all the car shows.. listened to all the hyped up police stories.. held his hand when he was nervous.. kissed away his tears.. bigged him up when he was feeling down about life.. supported him finacially.. helped him get out of debt.. was his best friend.. was his soul mate.. was the foundation to his life.. his words.. and yet he wants to be alone well i have all this to give to someone more deserving.. f him x
kyta Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 yea i agree, atm though i just feel sad.. sad that he didnt love me enough to ride the ride of life.. i really want to get angry with him but its hard for me as generally im not an angry girl. was talking to a "friend" last night you know a guy i talk to but thats all! lol he said how come you dont ever get with anyone? how come a girl like you is single? i just said im taking time out.. just ended a relationship been out of for 3 months an you know i need me time to heal.. was 1st time i could speak about it an not get sad.. for me thats a big step. he said you know he has lost so much.. i said yep he sure has.. an you know he has. i loved him , respected him, basically idololised him.. we fitted, had mostly same interests.. i never critised him, never really argued, if we did it was short lived. i looked after him.. was the best sex he had.. was kinky.. norty, loving, happy, safe, spontaneous.. exciting.. did all the car shows.. listened to all the hyped up police stories.. held his hand when he was nervous.. kissed away his tears.. bigged him up when he was feeling down about life.. supported him finacially.. helped him get out of debt.. was his best friend.. was his soul mate.. was the foundation to his life.. his words.. and yet he wants to be alone well i have all this to give to someone more deserving.. f him x Ill take it if its still on offer, i could do with a hug.
Author sultry33 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Ill take it if its still on offer, i could do with a hug. BIG HUG TO YOU so any plans tonight? im not being forward lol just it does help to get out.. get tarted up and have some fun flirting:D last night i went to club.. had black top on.. black bra and my top kept coming down.. you know my male friends didnt tell me that whilst i was talking to them i was just in my bra lol.. bad boys:lmao: not wearing that top again.. funny thing was alot of guys was showing me there abs.. toned tummies.. i think they was saying well your showing me yours haha. got told i looked 22 last night.. not bad eh considering im 36;) seriously get out and shake some booty x
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