borelandkaren Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I'm having the PMT week(s) from hell. I've had an argument with my older brother (he's a meth-head), a guy from work who stuck his nose in and told me I couldn't talk to another woman that we work with. My counsellor accused me of choosing my own prison with Tony, of stalking him (via consumer affairs, discrediting him for not having a builders license to do his work), told me to stop trying to be "best" friends with my family who systematically abused me sexually and emotionally all of my life, states that she feels I have a personality disorder and to top all of this off, the police turned up on my doorstep tonight with a summons for me to appear in court in Adelaide next month due to taking the rap for Tony growing dope in our house (he was already growing it when I moved in with him) 5 years ago!!!!! When they turned up on the doorstep, he ran and hid in the toilet and I VERY VERY stupidly took the rap for him because I LOOOOVED him!!! What a crock of ****! That line in the Faker song This Heartattack, "I've got your back but you don't got mine..." is so appropriate to exactly how my whole relationship was with him that I could weep. So now I've got a drug conviction hanging over my fecking head as well!!! WTF next...?
Nevermind Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 PMT? Oh, karen. I am so very sorry to hear about that. Can I do anything to cheer you up? Hopping like a bunny? Maybe you can make a deal with the police and tell them that you'll be a witness for your ex's drug cultivation, if they give you a minor punishment or none? What your therapist said must not be bad, nor must it be true. You can and should get a second opinion. However, having a disorder is not the end of the world. You learn to cope better with yourself and end up happier than ever before. But if you feel your therapist isn't right for you, you need to switch. Is your family abusive? Are you maybe getting into something that won't help you in the long run? The guy from work is a total idiot, and you shouldn't listen to him. You can talk to whomever you want!
Author borelandkaren Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 PMT? Oh, karen. I am so very sorry to hear about that. Can I do anything to cheer you up? Hopping like a bunny? Maybe you can make a deal with the police and tell them that you'll be a witness for your ex's drug cultivation, if they give you a minor punishment or none? What your therapist said must not be bad, nor must it be true. You can and should get a second opinion. However, having a disorder is not the end of the world. You learn to cope better with yourself and end up happier than ever before. But if you feel your therapist isn't right for you, you need to switch. Is your family abusive? Are you maybe getting into something that won't help you in the long run? The guy from work is a total idiot, and you shouldn't listen to him. You can talk to whomever you want! Thanks, darl! The hopping bunnies worked a treat!! Just having a bad run. U know how it goes. You're dead right on all counts, though. Guy from work, idiot. Therapist? Who knows? PD? Maybe. I believe I suffer more from problems with my hormones than anything else. We'll see. My family. Definitely abusive. 2 older brothers sexually abused me from age 3 until 14. I never had the faith in my parents that I could say anything to them. I knew they'd blame me or deny it happening. Turns out, according to my oldest brother, my father knew. He never said a word to my mother from what I can gather. And my mother is completely neurotic. I love her but only because she gave birth to me, not because I have any respect for the person she is. My mother and father were both physically abusive towards me and both very controlling. So the best thing for me is to keep them at arms length, I think. And the drug conviction? Will ring a lawyer 2moro and find out what I can do about it. If I take the rap for this, it will mean I can't travel outside of Australia for a very long time. Not that this was in my immediate plans but who knows what's going to happen. It will also impede certain employment, so I have to get it sorted out. I made mistakes in the past but that's just it. In the past, not now. I'm trying to get my life sorted out and I don't want any crap hanging over my head. ((((nevermind)))). Thanks. :)
Author borelandkaren Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Well, I spent today off work, getting (or starting to) get this mess sorted out. Got onto a solicitor who will appear in court for me. This is a good thing. And I can pay her off. (Funnily enough, her brother is one of Oz's top comedians! That should be interesting.) Also went and saw my bank about getting a loan to consolidate my debts. They won't but she gave me a few other ideas about how to get everything sorted out. I'm very rapidly getting over Tony. I've realised that everyone I've been involved with over the years (my family included) are not real good people. For some reason, I attract losers. Like attracts like. I'm not saying that I'm a total loser but obviously something in who I have been is saying to these people that it's OK to come and treat me like ****. Well, now I say it's not OK. Am still trying to work out what I want to do with myself but I'm going to stop rushing it. Have sat down and worked out a budget for myself and with what I'm earning, I can afford to pay everything and still have a little bit of a life. It's not easy because I wasn't taught very good coping skills by my family but I'll get there.
Recommended Posts