nitabean Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Hey everyone, I have been dating this guy for close to 6 months. Actually 6 months today that I met him but we didnt make it official until January 1st. (And by the way he doesnt have a clue of our "date") Things so far have been great. He is real easy going not a lot of drama. Up to know I could emotionally tell when he was pulling away and when he would come back. Usually it lasted only a few days. About a month ago I could tell that he pulled way back emotionally, stayed there for almost 3 weeks.I was ready to break it off and before I could he switched back on. Now we seem to be in a holding pattern, like planes on a runway....not quit ready to take off. I have already met his son and the three of us do a lot together but he has gotten into this pattern and I dont know which way to go. He texts me daily, sometimes it is early in the day sometimes not until 5pm or later. I work 3rd shift so he texts me off and on while im at work and every night I get the "good night babe" text before he goes to bed. He used to make a point to come see me before work on his days off but now he doesnt. There is always something else he has to get done. I just kinda go with the flow and try not to make a big deal out of it but now it is starting to bother me. Thursday night like clockwork he comes over and stays the night, he used to stay 2-3 nights a week and now its down to one. He says it is hard for him to get up and go to work when he is here because my room is like a cave due to me working nights. He still continues to make future plans for as close as next day to as long term as next year! BUT.....I am stuck in limbo and have no clue where he stands. We have a friend that we both talk to named Melissa and I am sure that he knows we talk, he told her last week that when he opens up in relationships they fall apart. I know he was with his ex for 4 yrs and she hurt him when she cheated but how long can I expect to be put at a distance because of her? I know they lived together and now he is staying with friends. He keeps talking about finding a responsible roomate but I never seem to even be on the list. I dont think we are ready for that just yet but even the thought of being a "possibility" would make me feel good. (BTW....I already own a house with plenty of room...) I really wanna know if I am wasting my time, and between Saturday and Thursday when I dont see him that feeling spins outta control, but as soon as I see him I think "why would you even think of letting him go". I just dont know what to do, I wanna say something but with crazy work schedules, his son, my second job its almost like I feel selfish and should wait it out. Someone please help me, advice or something. I am really falling for this guy and dont wanna lose him but I dont want to waste my time either. I want to know how he feels, I want to know that he is with me for the right reasons, I want to hear HIM tell me he thinks I am beautiful instead of hearing it from his friends and I want to tell him these things but I dont want to scare him off either! I wanna believe he is scared to open up like he told Melissa but how long should I wait!......and like clockwork as I write this I just got my "good night babe" text.........
GPFan Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Sounds like it is time for the two of you to sit down and have a conversation. I can't think of any other means of getting your questions answered. By the way, I love your signature line quote!There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. ~Ghandi
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I think you've been dating long enough to be able to talk with him about this. Sometimes you need a conversation to move things forward, otherwise they just sort of stay in this limbo place. It sounds like he is pretty content with the way things are right now. Sometimes you hear what you don't want to hear, but that is important too. It's time to figure this out or throw this fish back in the sea. A friend recently had a conversation like this with her boyfriend. It turns out he felt like she was the one who was content with the way things were. He did not know she cared about him as much as she did until she told him that he had become an important part of her life. Things have progressed to a new stage for them. She knew, however, if he didn't feel the same way they would probably end.
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