Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Ok this is kind of long but I REALLY need help and don't know what to do. Please read! Background: So I met this guy named Jack at a gradparty. We danced, and he was a friend of a friend so I decided to facebook him. I facebooked him and he responded we exchanged messages and he gave me his number. We started to text, and talked A LOT. He was very sweet and responded fairly quickly and was very funny. We decided to chill 3 days later. It was cute we went to a movie he didnt try to make a move or anything, we went back to my house and played guitar hero. At the end of the night he gave me a small goodnight kiss. Things went on like this perfect, if I dare say that word. We chilled almost every day and talked every day via text for the entire day. When we chilled, it wasnt just hooking up, we talked and played videogames and had lots of fun. We went to dinner a lot and it was cute. I had let him know earlier in the relationship that I was not going to have sex with him and he seemed fine with it. PROBLEM: So a few days ago we were talking and he was telling me how much he missed me and he was begging me to chill with him. He is like "When are we gonna chill?" and "Can I chill with you after work?". And I was like sure if I dont have to work today we can (I had a call-in that day). I then called into work and they said that they did not need me. This was terrific! Now I could spend the entire day with him. So I called him once. No answer. Called him twice. No answer. (Keep in mind this is the first time I have ever called him and he has not answered). This was very strange behavior, so I sent him a text saying "I called you twice, guess you don't want to chill?". I waited a few hours, had no response. So then I called him again, worried. Again, no response. That same night, I had my friend call his number from her phone (with a mississippi area code) and i live in florida. A female answered the phone. This is when I began to be somewhat worried, I mean, i couldnt possible be mad at him for having other women, because we were not going out. The next day I expected a text from him explaining his actions (because whenever he stops answering my texts or something for a night he always texts me the next day early explaining why). I got no text the next day. I waited the entire day for a text and I hadent heard from him. Now this was the longest it had been without me talking to him. Later that same night (the second night). I send him a text saying "hey, whats going on?". I then summarily received the following response. "your lookin for jack im guessin...he left his phone at my house..hell get back at you later". Now this was strange, for a few reasons. First of all what person goes and answers their friends texts when they leave their phone at their house. Second he has a lock on his phone and not just anyone can text. And finally, according to him he had left his phone at this persons house over a day ago. The battery would have already died by now. Now I began to question things. How could things to from perfect to him not talking to me at all. And if he HAD left his phone he could have easily contacted me via Myspace or Facebook. (I checked his myspace and he had been logging on daily). So today extremely distraught and sad. I needed to find the truth. So I had my friend call his phone from hers (to see if he would answer). And he answered. Or at least a male did, we were not sure if it was him. She then called again somewhat later and said "is jack there?", and he hung up on her. So this is where I am now. Confused, sad, and lonely. What does all of this mean. Is he over me? But why, what happened within an hour? He wanted to chill with me more than I wanted to chill with him. He was borderline obsessed with me. I plan on calling him in about 45 minutes and seeing if he will answer. This is my final battle. PLEASE HELP ME.
refurb Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It all comes down to this: I had let him know earlier in the relationship that I was not going to have sex with him and he seemed fine with it. You told him he wasn't going to be anything more than a friend to you. I'm sure he'd love to hang out with you again, when he isn't out finding a woman who wants a relationship. I don't mean to come across as snarky, but what did you really expect? A guy looking for a relationship is obvious going to place a higher priority on pursuing available women vs. hanging out with a friend. RF
xpaperxcutx Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Sounds like a jackass. Don't call him anymore, it'll make you obsessive. You don't even want a relationship with him right? Maybe you just liked the attention. Have some selfdignity, and delete his contact.
Author Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Well, I told him that I was not going to have sex, unless we were in a relationship. I should have been more clear about that sorry.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Well, I told him that I was not going to have sex, unless we were in a relationship. I should have been more clear about that sorry. Well he just doesn't seem genuine. Seems like he just wants a booty to tap, and when he didnt get it from you, he went looking somewhere else. Don't blame yourself.
Author Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Well he just doesn't seem genuine. Seems like he just wants a booty to tap, and when he didnt get it from you, he went looking somewhere else. Don't blame yourself. It's not like we weren't doing anything. We did plenty and he seemed very happy. I didnt think he would invest that much time and that much money on a girl that flat out told him that she wasnt trying to **** him. He would have backed off much earlier. I am just trying to understand why he is doing this. and I just called him a few minutes ago, no answer. Strange that he doesnt answer my calls but will answer random numbers.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It's not like we weren't doing anything. We did plenty and he seemed very happy. I didnt think he would invest that much time and that much money on a girl that flat out told him that she wasnt trying to **** him. He would have backed off much earlier. I am just trying to understand why he is doing this. and I just called him a few minutes ago, no answer. Strange that he doesnt answer my calls but will answer random numbers. It doesn't matter, what's happening now is that he's not answering your calls. I told you to stop calling him yet you refuse to listen. What would you have expected had he even picked up in the first place? It's evident that he's avoiding you and yet you're persistent in trying to contact him. He doesn't owe you any explanation as to his behavior. Maybe he just doesn't like you anymore. Whatever the reason, you should just stop calling and texting him.
SS49 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 It is possible that he did leave his phone at a friends house and hasn't yet been able to retrieve it. Your theory about his phone dying is way off, my phone can hold a charge for 4+ days depending on the use. Also a lot of locks on phones are pretty straight forward to unlock, besides I know the lock code on a few friends phones. Most locks aren't to keep people out but to rather keep the user from accidently calling someone when the phone is in their pocket or jacket or whatever. Also if someone was constantly calling a phone that was at my house I would have no problem texting or answering a call to get the person to STOP CALLING!! Also you're just a friend to him at the moment so if I were him I wouldn't be too concerned in getting in touch with you to tell you I left my phone somewhere. If I couldn't get in touch with a friend I'd simply leave a message and wait for them to give me a call. Your obsessive calling and texting probably freaked him out!
Author Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 It doesn't matter, what's happening now is that he's not answering your calls. I told you to stop calling him yet you refuse to listen. What would you have expected had he even picked up in the first place? It's evident that he's avoiding you and yet you're persistent in trying to contact him. He doesn't owe you any explanation as to his behavior. Maybe he just doesn't like you anymore. Whatever the reason, you should just stop calling and texting him. This was the first time ive called him in about 3 days. I haven't been calling him or texting him. When my friend called him to find out if he would answer, it was her and she hung up right after he said "hello". So he does not know that that was me at all. So for all he knows. I called him twice the day we were supposed to chill. (about 3 days ago) and once just now.
Author Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 It is possible that he did leave his phone at a friends house and hasn't yet been able to retrieve it. Your theory about his phone dying is way off, my phone can hold a charge for 4+ days depending on the use. Also a lot of locks on phones are pretty straight forward to unlock, besides I know the lock code on a few friends phones. Most locks aren't to keep people out but to rather keep the user from accidently calling someone when the phone is in their pocket or jacket or whatever. Also if someone was constantly calling a phone that was at my house I would have no problem texting or answering a call to get the person to STOP CALLING!! Also you're just a friend to him at the moment so if I were him I wouldn't be too concerned in getting in touch with you to tell you I left my phone somewhere. If I couldn't get in touch with a friend I'd simply leave a message and wait for them to give me a call. Your obsessive calling and texting probably freaked him out! I have not been obsessivly calling and texting him though. I called twice when we were supposed to chill. Left one text. The next day sent him one text. And tonight was the first time ive called in about 3 days. And he has an Iphone and his lock has a passcode. And apparenlty the phone has been going through vigirious usage if the person is responding to his texts and answering his phonecall. And If you left your phone at someones house would you wait 3+ days to get it back?
SS49 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 And If you left your phone at someones house would you wait 3+ days to get it back? Yeah it's possible. Depending on what I was up to, and where I had left it. Also if I was planning on getting together with the person who's place that I left the phone I'd just wait for them to bring it to me. I hadn't realized that you had only called a few times. Sorry for the assumption. He has initiated conversation before so I would let him make the next move. I imagine that you probably just want to know why he seems to have switched off, but I wouldn't pursue it any further. He'll get in touch if he wants to hang out again.
Author Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Yeah it's possible. Depending on what I was up to, and where I had left it. Also if I was planning on getting together with the person who's place that I left the phone I'd just wait for them to bring it to me. I hadn't realized that you had only called a few times. Sorry for the assumption. He has initiated conversation before so I would let him make the next move. I imagine that you probably just want to know why he seems to have switched off, but I wouldn't pursue it any further. He'll get in touch if he wants to hang out again. That is EXACTLY it. I want to know how it went from him telling me how much he missed me, and how much he wanted to hang out. To him ignoring me completely. Because the day this all happened, we were just talking HOURS before. And he was begging me to hang out and telling me how much he missed me, he was even making future plans, telling me that we were going to see certain movies together etc. How could it have changed to quickly, and why?
SS49 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 That is EXACTLY it. I want to know how it went from him telling me how much he missed me, and how much he wanted to hang out. To him ignoring me completely. Because the day this all happened, we were just talking HOURS before. And he was begging me to hang out and telling me how much he missed me, he was even making future plans, telling me that we were going to see certain movies together etc. How could it have changed to quickly, and why? Only he can tell you that.... could be any of a hundred reasons. The curiosity sucks, but IMO you just gotta deal with it and put it behind you. I'm sure that doesn't help you at all... sorry.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 That is EXACTLY it. I want to know how it went from him telling me how much he missed me, and how much he wanted to hang out. To him ignoring me completely. Because the day this all happened, we were just talking HOURS before. And he was begging me to hang out and telling me how much he missed me, he was even making future plans, telling me that we were going to see certain movies together etc. How could it have changed to quickly, and why? Think of it this way- he has your number, so he has your contact. Why doesn't he call you back? He doesn't need you to constantly call him because he can reach you with a push of a few buttons. The only answer is that he's just not that into you.
refurb Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Well, I told him that I was not going to have sex, unless we were in a relationship. I should have been more clear about that sorry. I take back what I said then. It sounds like this one just didn't work out. A lot people are like that, they go from infatuation to infatuation. RF
Author Atinaros Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Think of it this way- he has your number, so he has your contact. Why doesn't he call you back? He doesn't need you to constantly call him because he can reach you with a push of a few buttons. The only answer is that he's just not that into you. thank you so much.
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