XxBacktoBlackXx Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I sent my EX a final E-mail saying that I do not want to be in contact nor do I ever want to be friends. That may sound harsh, but it was a respectful/mature E-Mail. There have been thoughts floating through my head. I really wish I could say all the things that I wanted to say. If I didn't have my pride, I would have instead written: I think it is best that we no longer remain in contact, as I'm not able to be friends with you and will not be able to in the future. I need to close this chapter in my life. I appreciate the time that we spent together, however I must admit that I'm very hurt that you told me you don't care about my world and my family and friends and then expect a friendship after revealing these feelings. I feel incredibly disrespected; I spent 3 hours every weekend and on my days off driving to your house. You wanted me to be involved in your life and immersed in your friends and family, so I did this. I watched videos of your family vacations and trips with you. I went out to coffee and to basketball with your Dad and spent time with your Mom. I spent hours at your best friends' house, meeting your friends and watching you play video games with them. It still stings to think about the comments you made about my world during our last conversation. It hurt me when you said you never have cared about my world, only me. It also hurt when you said the things you said about my family, even though you have only met my parents for 20 minutes and have never met my siblings. Honestly, I feel like a complete fool for spending the amount of time in your world that I did and doing all of the things with you in your world for 8 months, when you never cared about mine. It hurt me that you could spend three hours every day waiting for a Wii for your friends, but could not spare me hours to get to know my world. It hurt me that I worked hour long shifts and spent a portion of this money on gas to see you, but at the end, I understand that even though you love me, this would never be reciprocated because that is "the way [you] are and everyone knows that." Yes, I did work long shifts, partially so that I save the money to visit you and spend the gas money as well as money for when we were together. I wish you could have appreciated how hard I worked, especially since you did not have a job while we were together and still don't. I don't think you understand what it is like to work as hard as I do. I do not want a friendship like this. I think we have had some lovely times, however these comments will sting me for a time. I have enough friends and feel that we should part ways in this life. I wish you the best for your future and am hopeful that your dreams in writing come true. Sincerely... .... I know I shouldn't send this and I won't. I needed to get this out, though. I would not even think about sending this. But, I will admit, sometimes these thoughts eat away at me. I often think about the time I spent on someone who never cared about my world and it really hurts my feelings. I do not want the relationship back. I honestly don't want a friendship, either. I know when I made my last post about sending my EX the final E-mail, many stated that they thought I eventually wanted a friendship...I don't. I closed that door already and do not want to open it. However, I do fantasize that I had said the above things so that I had this weight off my shoulder, but I won't actually do this. I want to just get on with my life and meet somebody that loves me and wants to get to know my world, as that is a part of me.
lorilynne Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Well, that e-mail was pretty well thought out. I'm glad you posted it here instead of sending it to him. We would at least would appreciate it. It sounds like you really went out of your way for him...I'm noticing most of us on this site do that! Getting burned makes it hard to want to the next go round! Sending that to him might have just resulted (of course I don't know him) in him feeling like he doesn't need you to tell him to miss. And honestly...you don't! If you did all those things with and for him...he's gonna miss you. All those people in his life that you mentioned will ask him about you. He'll have to answer. And at least for a little while, coffee & basketball with his dad will remind him of you. The same with his video games. Just think of all the times in the day you think about him...it's happening on his end, too. By not sending that e-mail, you get the satisfaction of knowing that he's going to miss you on his own...not because you sent him an e-mail to remind him about you. Again, I advise...but I'm unable to follow through with this advice myself. I think everytime I want to reply to a text from my ex...I should come to this website instead and just reply to someone else's post!!! LOL!
lovemediator1 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 IMHO, i think you should have sent that email to him so that he will realize what a HUGE loss he just had. Based on what you did for your bf I humbly think you're such a really nice person and that you DON'T deserve that type of guy. At least you found out early what he really is. I know letting go is difficult but remember, it's not your loss, it's his. When a window closes, a new door opens. But if you really like to let go of that load, send him that email then move on and don't look back, never answer any of his calls or emails if he ever do so. That would be like a slap in his face which he deserves anyway.
Nevermind Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 i think you should have sent that email to him so that he will realize what a HUGE loss he just had. Sadly, it doesn't work like this.
joejoechen Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Girl, you deserve a BIG hug. ** HUGZZ ** feelin betta? Well.. you're doing great, some guys just don;t deserve good girls like you. You'll find a better one. Keep us posted! Joe
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Ugh, I'm feeling so terrible today! I was doing fine and then everything hit me. I just want to cry it out. I don't know what it is that I'm so upset about.
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