sunshine111 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 should you lend a new boyfriend of one month who is on 6x your salary £700? im on a very low wage, but have a credit card and certainly couldnt afford to lose that amout of money. He doesnt have a credit card and needs to find £700 for a deposit for a flat.. he was hinting that I could lend it to him and that he could pay me back in two weeks. I think the world of him we get on so well so should I trust him?
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Absolutely not. That's what banks are for. Of course, you could take the pink slip (ownership document) to his car as collateral
Author sunshine111 Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 he's now sulking saying that i dont love and trust him. He's one of those boyfriends who constantly talk about their feelings towards you all the time. I accidently left my credit card in his flat and I cancelled the card incase he used it. He has never given me any inclination that he would but I feel like ive only known him for a month, its not long enough. He said the minute i cancelled that card was the end of the relationship because it showed him i didnt trust him... Would anyone else have dont the same? was a silly and paranoid to cancel my card?
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Get down on your knees and thank the deity of your choice that this happened after only a month. Talk about dodging a bullet. Loser with a capital L
jerbear Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 he's now sulking saying that i dont love and trust him. He's one of those boyfriends who constantly talk about their feelings towards you all the time. I accidently left my credit card in his flat and I cancelled the card incase he used it. He has never given me any inclination that he would but I feel like ive only known him for a month, its not long enough. He said the minute i cancelled that card was the end of the relationship because it showed him i didnt trust him... Would anyone else have dont the same? was a silly and paranoid to cancel my card? He is playing the victim card and hoping to get the better of you. At one month, why in the world would you trust him with money? I don't lend money to people I know for a month. If he makes 6x your income and can't put up a £700, what does that say about his finances? Also why should you lend him £700, are you sharing the flat? If not then you can say no. I follow this ideal, if I can afford to lose the amount lent then I would consider lending it. Otherwise, nope. From what you said, the amount is not something you can lend.
SeraBella Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Way too soon for him to expect that of you. Big red flags for what the future would hold. How did he know you cancelled the card?
Touche Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Way too soon for him to expect that of you. Big red flags for what the future would hold. How did he know you cancelled the card? That's exactly what I was going to ask. If you didn't tell him then we all know the answer to that one. Wow, I agree with the others. You dodged a bullet. Oh and no, I wouldn't have loaned him the money either. He was wrong and showed no class in even hinting around about it.
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 That was also my first question after reading through the thread, then I saw Serabella and Touche's responses! I wouldn't lend a new b/f money unless it was a business transaction with a private loan agreement. You have no idea if he's even telling you the truth about his salary, whether or not he can afford to pay you back.
Author sunshine111 Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 he knew I cancelled the card because I told him. Maybe i shouldnt have?
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 he knew I cancelled the card because I told him. Maybe i shouldnt have? In telling him, you're in essence telling him flat out that you don't trust him. In not telling him, he will either use it or not. If he uses it without your permission, especially if you state upfront not to use it, it would pretty much answer your question about what type of person he is.
jerbear Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 he knew I cancelled the card because I told him. Maybe i shouldnt have? There is no easy answer to this one. So I'll use my own opinion. I wouldn't have said a thing. A gf's does not need to know that I have cancelled a credit card or even opened an new account. When it gets serious, that is when I'll provide my income statement, balance sheet, and state of cash flows, to her if she asks.
Author sunshine111 Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 thank you for your advice, it has been helpful. I shouldnt have told him i cancelled the card, if it had been the other way round I would have been very upset and very hurt he thought so low of me.
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