ioncebelieved Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Some here a somewhat familiar with my situation. Those who are not, I will spare the details. I have been trying NC for a women in NC, oh the irony of it. Anyways, I usually fail and get weak, but the other day she wanted me to turn my web camera on so she could she me. I was stupid and obliged the request!!! I guess that I write this post to say be vigilant on NC and watch for any cruel trick. Of course I could analyze the hell out of her request and say she misses me and wanted to see me or she just wanted to see if she still had me under her power or both!!! Who knows??? Only thing I know is that I am not over her yet and unfortunately I am still under her spell, but as each passing day comes, I am working hard on forgetting her and making a better me.
Nevermind Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 They break our hearts, and some of them...they want to see if they can break our souls, too. Hang in there. You have been doing really well. She can't destroy you!
kaykin1975 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I just wanna say, remember....you are not weak for breaking your NC rule....you are HUMAN with real feelings and real emotions. I break my NC rule every other day with my xh. I could sit here and say hang in there, it will get easier but I am not gonna BS you. It is hard and it sux, plain and simple. I am going on 14 months since separation and 6 months since divorce and I STILL have the crappy feelings. All I can say is keep posting here..it helps a little, and I am free to talk anytime!!!
LikeCharlotte Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I don't think the intent was cruelty. Maybe she just misses you or doesn't want to forget what you look like. Everyone copes in different ways. If it makes you sad or uncomfortable just say so and set some new boundaries. Breaking NC is just a sign that you care. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't hurt yourself and tread lightly.
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 I don't think the intent was cruelty. Maybe she just misses you or doesn't want to forget what you look like. Everyone copes in different ways. If it makes you sad or uncomfortable just say so and set some new boundaries. Breaking NC is just a sign that you care. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't hurt yourself and tread lightly. Well she has pictures of us and I have a myspace page that she has told me she looks at in the past. Like I stated in an earlier post... I could analyze her to death, but the fact remains if she misses me that much where she wants to see me "live" hence the web cam she knows what it would take w/o silly ass game.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Well she has pictures of us and I have a myspace page that she has told me she looks at in the past. Like I stated in an earlier post... I could analyze her to death, but the fact remains if she misses me that much where she wants to see me "live" hence the web cam she knows what it would take w/o silly ass game.Oh, I see what you are saying. I tend to know everyones story but its late and I've forgotten yours. I apologize and I will go back and read. So, if she misses you so much then she should get it together and be with you. Is that the idea? I tend to agree. When I first was dealing with my ex not wanting to know me I entertained the idea that maybe it just hurt him too much. We'd been to pet stores where he couldn't bear to look at the kitties in the cage at all because he wanted to take them all home. (he was very sweet but very emotionally defensive - case and point, really) Then I thought "If that was true he'd still be with me." and I snapped out of it. I see where you are coming from. Still, set those boundries and don't beat yourself up.
serratededges Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I think only a few people actually try to do it. I think mainly it has to do with some people thinking softening the blow ie...Using some lame generalized statement like "we are good as friends" , some are up front, and many are just too screwed up to know what they want. I am on day one of NC, and I hope it gets easier. Just hang in there.
carhill Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Why do they wanna break our souls? That's not cool. Y, for some people, they raise their self-esteem by degrading that of others. For others, they just have a vacuum where normally a soul would exist, so other's souls are naturally drawn to that vacuum. I call it the "black hole effect". Part of our life journey is recognizing the value of our own soul and how to share it with others in a healthy way. It's a process
americanrevgirl Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Once you get over the hurt, and start getting angry, it will be a lot easier. And paybacks are a bitch.
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Once you get over the hurt, and start getting angry, it will be a lot easier. And paybacks are a bitch. I have hurt for a while and been angry too. this mess has been a long ass roller coaster ride for a while now! I feel better knowing it will be her that is missing out, not me! Then one day I honestly feel she will realize it and try to act right, THAT will be my time for payback!!!
Author ioncebelieved Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Oh, I see what you are saying. I tend to know everyones story but its late and I've forgotten yours. Not a biggie! If you go to Y's can't take it thread, you will have a better understanding of my story. He is hard headed as hell!!! I had to let him hold it!!! I sure like you though and your advice!!!
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