AllSmiles1011 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I'm new to this, so try to bear with me. I've started seeing this guy I work with. I'm 22 and he's 34. He's also in upper management in the company and I'm the director of a department. We've been seeing each other for about a month now. We go to dinner, go down the shore, go to the movies, watch TV, and I've stayed at this house a few times. He has told me that he doesn't want anyone at work to know about us. But relationships between employees at our company are fine and there are quite a few couples within the company. He says that he doesn't want the people at work knowing his private business. But he has said that if we're still 'doing this' (not sure what he means) by the time the holiday party comes around, then we can tell people then. He constantly tells me how much fun I am and how great of a time he has when we're together. But he also said that he wants to keep things simple and doesn't want them to get complicated. I like him a lot, but I'm not sure if he's just having fun with me or likes me too. I don't know if he takes me seriously because I'm so much younger than him. I tried to bring it up, but he doesn't seem to understand what I mean and I don't seem to be able to explain it. I know that I'm young, but that doesn't mean I just run around and sleep with people without looking for something more. He tells me that he cares about me a lot and he's very sweet and affectionate when we're together. I'm very confused and I don't know what he wants. Any advice on how I could bring it up or what I should say?
Balthazar Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I can understand why he doesn't want your relationship to go public. He is not at the same level as you are; being in upper management possibly means he makes decisions about people lower in the hierarchy. It certain cases it may appear as if he is favoring you over others. I think you should respect his wishes on this matter, at least for the time being. Taking your ages into consideration, he is leading the relationship and expecting you to follow. My advice would be to enjoy the relationship for now, after all it has only been 1 month. You should still be in a state of bliss. It will possibly be better to define where things are going in a few months or so.
mixwell Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Honestly it sounds like he doesn't want to make it public because it would "put him on blast" since you've only been seeing each other for 1 month. Seems like with him being his position he doesn't want to announce it until he knows for sure that your relationship together will work out. I would say wait it out some more and feel out the process. Seriously how lame would it seem if he was like me and so and so are seeing each other and then you guys stop dating .. Seems like he wants to know its a legit relationship before announcing it. Just wait it out and see what happens in my opinion.
saraispiel19 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 hes older and you work under him. He sounds like a nice guy and he's just concerned about the prestige he's maintained at his workplace you are young so that may leave him to wonder if you are "immature" as older men tend to think about younger women. He probably wants to wait and see if this is more than just a "fling" and gets to know you a lot better. Enjoy your relationship and stop over-analyzing it he's happy with you, your happy with him if keeping it on the DL for a few more months is all what you have to do then go for it! Goodluck to ya!
Author AllSmiles1011 Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Thanks a lot you guys. I guess I probably knew to just let it play out and see how it goes, but I just needed someone else to say it first.
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