pandagirl Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I don’t want to let people go from my life. It’s incredibly painful and hurtful, yet I know that this is what I’m going to have to do. I need space from him. The thing that’s ironic is I know a month or two will pass without him, and I will be fine. I probably won’t even need this friendship anymore and he’ll just be another person I once knew and don’t know anymore. Sure, maybe we’ll grab a drink every couple months or so, but what we had, will be forever gone and never recaptured. The looks we’d exchange, the kisses we’d share, will all just be a memory to think about, and yet, even those will fade with time. Getting older gives you the knowledge that you move on. Everyone endures heartache and breakups and everyone moves on to someone new and hopefully better. Human beings are resilient. Past experiences have taught me that lovers are lovers and don’t become friends, at least in the sense that I’d like them to remain. You can’t keep the intimacy you once had with a lover. In the end, we all end up on our feet, but it still hurts when people just become memories.
kizik Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 True words. I agree that you WILL need space from him to move on. It may not even be a good idea to be thinking about hanging with him every couple months. I'm beginning to realize that it won't be possible to be friends w/ my ex. There's too much emotion there. I don't even wanna see her. IMO it will be a great relief when she becomes a memory without the emotional pain that comes with those "snapshot" memories.
Author pandagirl Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 I think we all know that we all end up fine, but I HATE letting people go. It's not really in my nature. I like keeping people close to me. I'm a pretty discerning person, so if I let someone into my life, they usually stay put, but it never works with exes. And it always breaks my heart when people disappear.
Author pandagirl Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 People do disappear though. But it doesn't mean they forget about you necessarily. Life is just a constant intake and outake of people and things. If you think about it a different way, it's quite beautiful -- how lucky we are to experience these emotions and people that mean so much to us at different moments of our lives. Not to get all Buddhist, but we create our own pain and suffering. We choose to be miserable or sad. Or we can choose to take things for what they are and move on with hope and the lessons we have learned. For me, it's an incredibly cruel joke on my heart that we can love people and let them go. But its something I'm trying to reconcile with.
sunshinegirl Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I'm struggling with this - the disappearance from my life of a man who I loved for over a year, who I shared so much with and spent so much time with. *poof* ...gone. It's been 30 days of NC, since I found out he cheated on me. 44 days since the breakup. I hate that his face is fuzzy in my mind now. I hate that he is becoming memory and is no more a reality. I'm afraid that as he becomes memory, it means my love for him meant nothing, everything we shared meant nothing...maybe worst of all, that he's forgotten all about me, too. But at least I'm not crying right now...I'm in that weird numb place. Wish I could channel some Buddhist thought right now...
Recommended Posts