Template Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 So after a little more than a month of no contact (except for this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t155100/), she e-mails me this evening. It wasn't that she emailed me that was disturbing, but what she said in the email. (A little background: you could our relationship "started" by her contacting me, that she's was keeping an eye out for an item on woot.com for me. From there, it blossomed and died into what our relationship is today.) So she emails me tonight, and instead of a "How are you?"-type of contact (which I was prepared for if that day came), she emails me that she's still looking for it (the item in question as referenced above)for me. Suffice to say I was taken aback. Seems to me she put some thought into what she wanted to say to initiate contact. And even if not, she's the one that told me to "f@(K off". Why would she still be looking for me? I tell you it's things like this that just pisses and confuses the hell outta me, and I liked the clarity of life I was having nowadays.
kizik Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 T, it's not about the item. The item is an excuse for her to contact you, to see if she still has you on a string. The item provides an easy in for her to bother you, put you back in the pain that she KNOWS you've been getting out of. To quote an ebook that v33 set me: They want us to be thinking of them. They want us to be sad over them. It's a f*cking battlefield, man, and to stay alive you have to use your shields. Don't write her back, and just try to forget she bothered you.
kizik Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Y, I'm really tired of your posts. They're not contributing anything. You are only contributing anger, bitterness and childishness. You sound like a f*cking 10-year-old. I tried to help you earlier. If you don't have anything to contribute, don't f*cking post.
justaman99 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Y, I'm really tired of your posts. They're not contributing anything. You are only contributing anger, bitterness and childishness. You sound like a f*cking 10-year-old. I tried to help you earlier. If you don't have anything to contribute, don't f*cking post. completely agree
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 OP.....solution. Don't read the e-mail. In fact, black hole any known addresses so the e-mails go right to trash. See, don't you feel better? Part of NC is getting in the mindset that she doesn't exist in your universe, ergo she cannot contact you nor you her. It's not possible... Hate to say it, but I think you need to restart the clock. You accepted contact and considered its content. I know I'd start over. Just your coming here and wanting to discuss it, rather than just report it coldly, tells me it's on your mind. Not good...
Author Template Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 OP.....solution. Don't read the e-mail. In fact, black hole any known addresses so the e-mails go right to trash. See, don't you feel better? Part of NC is getting in the mindset that she doesn't exist in your universe, ergo she cannot contact you nor you her. It's not possible... Hate to say it, but I think you need to restart the clock. You accepted contact and considered its content. I know I'd start over. Just your coming here and wanting to discuss it, rather than just report it coldly, tells me it's on your mind. Not good... Well of course it's still on my mind, it's only been a little over a month. There are people on this board that still discuss their frustrations even years after their split-up. Are you suggesting that when these transgressions arise I keep it to myself? I thought (and felt) one of the strengths of this board was this we could post honestly, and recieve positive reinforcement. Correct me if I'm wrong or naive?
Author Template Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 T, it's not about the item. The item is an excuse for her to contact you, to see if she still has you on a string. The item provides an easy in for her to bother you, put you back in the pain that she KNOWS you've been getting out of. To quote an ebook that v33 set me: They want us to be thinking of them. They want us to be sad over them. It's a f*cking battlefield, man, and to stay alive you have to use your shields. Don't write her back, and just try to forget she bothered you. k, you are right, and I knew this. I just found it disturbing that she used this particular piece of info to try this. This must have took some real thought on her part, and damn that's evil. Personally I'm the type of person that is very conscious of my actions, and if people don't deserve a certain type of treatment, I don't consciously do it to them. However, to purposely pull this on me, DAMN, I can't fathom it.
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Well of course it's still on my mind, it's only been a little over a month. There are people on this board that still discuss their frustrations even years after their split-up. Are you suggesting that when these transgressions arise I keep it to myself? I thought (and felt) one of the strengths of this board was this we could post honestly, and recieve positive reinforcement. Correct me if I'm wrong or naive? The positive reinforcement is to support getting it out of your mind and heal yourself. Of course, it's a difficult journey. My posting is merely a signpost, much as our psychologist provides me with signposts (definitely not always things I want to hear) to help me heal and change my behaviors. That's the duality of support, IMO. Empathize and challenge.
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