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I can't stop e-mailing my ex!


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Posted

She broke up with me nearly 15 months ago. I still love her and think of her every hour, every day, but I haven't seen or talked with her once since I moved out of her house right after we broke up. We had some brief email exchange, but otherwise it's been completely NC ever since.

 

Then, last month, I mailed her a birthday card. No response. Then, a week later, I emailed her saying I wanted to be friends. No response. Then, I sent her a forward. And another. And another. More emails. More frequently. And no response yet to any of them. It's like a slippery slope; I can't stop, and I'm doing it more and more.

 

I know through mutual friends that she's single, that she loved me (at least when we were dating), and that she's been single since she broke up with me. Yet, she avoids me like the plague.

 

Now I find myself getting hooked to emailing her, even though I know that she almost certainly won't respond! I'm doing it every other day now, and I can't stop!

 

Anyone else ever have this problem? How do you deal with this? :mad:

 

 

-PBM

Posted

Your obsessing over her and this is not healthy. I have been there and done that No good came from it. Distract yourself. Find an intrest other then her. What ever little steps you can take in the right direction.. do it. Best of luck. Stay Strong.:)

 

AP:)

Posted

15 months, still thinking of her every hour, every day, is unhealthy, as AP37 says. I highly suggest some therapy. If you can't do therapy, then fill your life with good things and people!!!

 

With each email you send, you're sending yourself deeper into shame, guilt, regret and low self-esteem.

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Posted

Thank you for your responses, and you're all so right.

 

I know my story isn't new, but I just can't seem to shake it that she was PERFECT for me. I know, I know, most of us felt or still feel that way. But, it's like become an addiction now for me to email her. Even though I know I won't get a response, I still persist. It's awful, I know. I'm sliding backwards. I USED to be able to distract myself, etc.

 

I'm starting to become convinced that the only way to replace an obsession/addiction is with another obsession/addiction (i.e., another girlfriend). Nothing else is distracting me enough.

 

 

-PBM

Posted
Thank you for your responses, and you're all so right.

 

I know my story isn't new, but I just can't seem to shake it that she was PERFECT for me. I know, I know, most of us felt or still feel that way. But, it's like become an addiction now for me to email her. Even though I know I won't get a response, I still persist. It's awful, I know. I'm sliding backwards. I USED to be able to distract myself, etc.

 

I'm starting to become convinced that the only way to replace an obsession/addiction is with another obsession/addiction (i.e., another girlfriend). Nothing else is distracting me enough.

 

 

-PBM

 

 

Look at it this way. If she is not contacting you then how can she be perfect for you? She seems to have removed herself from the R. While I know you are hurt.. Forget it! Move on to someone thats worthy of your affection.. and commitment. Best of luck.

 

AP:)

Posted

I would think inside you now feel a pretty serious rejection. That she isn't replying to anything. You need to STOP now because it will only upset you and drive you to do stupid things. Leave her alone. Do yourself a favor to and just stop anything and everything to try and communicate with her. You're starting over 15 months later.

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