Tabatha Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I was on the phone with my ex boyfriend as he was down at the lake doing some fishing. Earlier today he took me to a Sports Bar where I landed the job on the spot for a server. The Bartender who we were speaking with gave me the Bar's number and her personal number just incase I am not able to get a ride for tomorrow night, my first day on the job. Well, when we were in the car leaving, my ex said, "hmm, what's her number again? You can email me this, right?" jokingly. I knew he was messing around with me. He kept saying how he was going to go back later, and get it himself...blah, blah..." and then he said while he looked at me, "You know I'm ****ing with you, right?" So he took me home. On the way home he held my hand and I was singing Eric Clapton "Wonderful Tonight" the lyric that goes, "How much I love you.." he was like alright..changed the channel, but still held my hand. I was like awww....and making faces at him. Back to tonight, I called him up and let him know I talked to the same Bartender and she told me what to wear for tomorrow night....and then I jokingly went into..."And I told her how much you liked her and she said she liked you too and wanted your phone number!" He said, "Well, next time I see her I, I'll tell her how you told me how she liked me, and thanks for giving me permission to hook up with her!" hahaha, but I explained to him that I would be devistated if I knew he was with someone else..... and this is were I get to my point... I asked if he would care if I was with another guy. He said he wouldn't ever want to see me with someone else. He said if he "didn't give a ****, it wouldn't matter," but he said he cares. Then he said he doesn't know what we are anymore. That's what he said the first time we broke up and still hung out. We were friends, that all of a sudden transitioned back into Boyfriend and Girlfriend. I told him, i don't know either. I said it doesn't really matter. I told him we are like Friends/Lovers. He agreed. So we are not Classified. I'm comfortable enough to know this, because like I said in previous posts, and to those who been following my story, I'm leaving for Montana soon. I wouldn't want to get back into a serious relationship, knowing I would be far away...and LDR will never work between us. I'm just going to enjoy my summer with my Friend/Lover and have as much fun as possible. Thoughts?
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 It's adorable because you're young and it's so light and easy and fun, even the breakups. We old farts get jealous of all that stuff
kizik Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 It has nothing to do with age... they just can't bear to separate. I'm 24 and still jealous. You and your "ex" should be together, T.
Author Tabatha Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 ah, well. I am honestly shocked to be where I am now with my ex. When he broke up with me almost 2 and a half months ago, I was thinking that was it. I thought I would never be apart of his life again, and he will never be apart of mine. It came close to that many times during the first month of seperation. I've done some pretty stupid things through this break up that pushed him away. I've struggled, cried, got frustrated, and even felt confused at some points these last couple months. We have our bad days and our good days. We fight, argue, and get mad at each other, and then we kiss, hug, hold, and make love. It's like a relationship, without actually being exclusive. It's just something about these last few days were we've been getting closer and I think we are starting to feel those same feelings we once felt when we first fell in love with each other. I know he still loves and cares for me. Break-ups are truly difficult. It can go in two types of directions: NC all the way and move on faster, or do what I did and stayed in contact (which I'm not saying is the right thing to do because that's where we usually argue and get mad at each other is over the phone. And that just causes us to get hurt and our emotions fuel our actions. Then we say stupid things. But we get over it.) People are going to heal how they want to heal. People are going to take different actions into moving on. We are all different in how we handled our break up. Some outcomes are good, some not so good. I don't think I'm right or wrong for staying in contact. It was my choice and I am shocked as Hell that it turned out for the better.
Author Tabatha Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 It has nothing to do with age... they just can't bear to separate. I'm 24 and still jealous. You and your "ex" should be together, T. Yeah, but I've kinda got over it on my part, that we are not together anymore. I've learned to accept it and believe me, it took me up until a few weeks ago to do so. If he wants to get back together, he'll make the decision. I'm got going to push it anymore. That just pushes him away farther. and besides pretty soon, "I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again," lol.
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 It has nothing to do with age... they just can't bear to separate. I'm 24 and still jealous. You and your "ex" should be together, T. Hey, live another quarter century and we can talk Wait, I'll have Viagra in my vitamin water by then.... Seriously, things are just different when one is older. Can't explain it. They just are.
Author Tabatha Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Well, I started my job last night. He came up and picked me up with one of his buddy's. The Server training me walked up because his friend wanted a beer, so she said "So is this your boyfriend?" (pointing to his friend haha) and I said no, and I introduced her to my guy. I was trying to tell her it was my ex, but she kept calling him my bf lol. I told him that but he said I can tell people that he is my boyfriend or whatever, he doesn't care because he said he doesn't know what we are (once again). So I can prefer him as my boyfriend around work. wow. I guess it works though. We still are very close. I hung out with him after work and he was hugging me, holding me, kissing me, and told me he still loved me. He asked if any guys hit on me at the bar, and I was like nooo at first then said yeahhh, and he smiled. Then I was on myspace and I was messaging my cousin in montana because she was wondering about my new job, he asked who it was and I told him. He said "good, it's not one of those guys you talk to..." He was Happy about that. He still has interest. hmm... How do I transition it into a relationship without pushing him away? I'm kinda in this wierd place where he's my boyfriend/lover/friend/ex. I would like to be gf and bf again, but I don't want to ruin what we have now. Should I just be grateful for what I have and leave it alone, and be happy? (Which I am, very much so)
fabulousgal Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 you should be chill and play it by ear. most importantly dont make yourself totally available to this guy. he is treating you like an option no matter what the lip service your getting from him (which all seems well and good btw). hang out with him, but why not hang out with the gf's or flirt with guys or strike up an independent hobby to spend some time on? you'd be surprised at how attractive that will be.
Author Tabatha Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 That's what I'm going to do, is just sit back and see how it goes. I hung out with him yesterday and today (had to spend the night at his house because no one in my house supposedly never heard me pounding on the door or ringing the door bell constantly at 2 am, to let me in. I usually leave the garage door unlocked, but they want to be asses and lock me out. So I walked 5 miles down(20 minute to 30 minute walk) the road at 2:30am to Steak N' Shake. Thank Goodness they are open 24/7 so I called my ex to come pick me up on their phone.) Yesterday we were talking about our relationship and I asked if it bothered him that he didn't know what we were and he said it doesn't. Then we talked further and he mentioned how he likes "Open" relationships. I told him I don't, I prefer Monogimus(sp?) relationships. I told him, if he likes to have sex with different partners, he might as well stay single. He said he can still love the person, and have sex with others to have fun. I brought up, well what would happen if you were with me and we had an "open" relationship, you go out and get a girl pregnant, how would that be? He said that would be a f'd up situation. He used the term "Wife", as if he was explaining the misshap to another person. "Yeah me and my wife here have to take care of this other womans baby, yeah it's a messed up situation...." But he also said, thats why you use alot of condoms and spermacide. I draw the line there. NO WAY am I going to be involved with someone who wants to go have sex with different people, including me. I hope he was just talking to talk, and maybe he will just consider a CLOSED relationship between him and I. Freaking Gemini's!!!
Nemo Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 He said he can still love the person, and have sex with others to have fun. :lmao:
LikeCharlotte Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Kind of reminds me of this... http://xkcd.com/355/ OMG that is one of my favorite xkcd's! Karyyk suddenly you are really attractive! I'm totally not flirting. I swear. My favorite one http://xkcd.com/289/
LikeCharlotte Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I'm just going to enjoy my summer with my Friend/Lover and have as much fun as possible. Thoughts?That's all you need to know kitten. You are doing it right.
Nevermind Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I send this to my ex before I came to see him once... http://xkcd.com/162/ He mailed it back to me a couple of weeks before d-day, saying that he loved it and was reading it a lot. He had been having an affair for months then.. NM, Suddenly sad. Tabatha: have fun!
LikeCharlotte Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I send this to my ex before I came to see him once... http://xkcd.com/162/ He mailed it back to me a couple of weeks before d-day, saying that he loved it and was reading it a lot. He had been having an affair for months then.. NM, Suddenly sad. Tabatha: have fun!I was just reading your posts NM. I am glad you are starting to feel better. You like xkcd and he tainted it for you. This puts him on my D-list.
Author Tabatha Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 those are funny!! ...and yet true...lol Today sucked!!! WE fought. He said he doesn't see a FUTURE with me. He doesn't see us working out. He said there's been too much bad that outwieghs the good. Okay, the only time we fight, is over the phone. And it's not really fighting. We don't yell at each other, just get frustrated and argue. He gets mad and I cry!! I'm EMO, that's why he says we won't work. I'm too emotional, wtf!!! I admit I cry alot, but thats because I sense things are going wrong, and I want to fix them (my habit he hates). So, what I've learned. I've learned to let him go when he gets mad, let him cool off for a few hours, and wait til I collect myself. Then everything is back to normal. Oh and it totally crushed me when he told me, he thinks I should get involved with another guy. Even though, he truly likes me, he thinks it will help in getting over him. I asked him if he's over me, he said he's over US.."wait no, I'm not because you don't let me.." He said I'm scared to take a chance to let him go and move on. He said I'm scared to see what happens when I move to Montana. He said that he is not pushing me to go, to get me away, but to see me better myself because he doesn't like the situation I am in with my family. "And who knows, I may miss you too much and go out there to be with you." For the past two weeks...things were so perfect!! We got along and he had a moment where he thought, hey, we do work...but nooo...my aunt had to come along today and talk nasty to him on the phone. I still believe she was on SOMETHING! He says he doesn't like to deal with my family, but he also doesn't like it when I act the way I do because of them (this going back to the crying too much!), more. So I'll give it a few days...see if it all blows over. Pretty soon we'll be back to normal.
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