zoe1983 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 So my boyfriend and i always joke that i am anti-social but sometimes i worry that there really is something wrong with me. I like hanging out by myself and actually tend to enjoy doing that more than spending time with friends or family. Mostly because i like being on my own schedule and not having to worry about other people and if they are happy, bored, etc.. However i do make myself hang out with my family, mostly because they make me feel really bad when i dont. When i was in high school and college i had plenty of friends but was never really happy and always felt lonely on the inside. I felt this drive to hang out with people as much as possible and meet new people to try to make me happy. Ironically most people would consider me a people person and I am really good at finding things to talk about with just about anyone. I am a good listener and am good at making people feel comfortable. After college I met my present boyfriend and he is the only person i feel one hundred percent comfortable around. I feel like i finally met someone that I can be me with, warts and all, and I know he wont ever judge me. The only problem is i cant find any friends. I admit that i kinda stopped trying after a while, mostly because everyone i met either already had kids and just wanted me to help babysit, or they had drug or alcohol problems. I guess im really picky when it comes to friends but i feel like why should i spend time with someone i only kinda like and kinda have fun with when i can spend time by myself and really enjoy it. I don't talk much at work either, although if someone starts a conversation with me i will definitely talk back. I talk to the one girl my age all the time but I don't really like her enough to spend time with her outside of work. Everyone else I work with is at least 40 years old and I am only 24 so we don't have much in common. Most of the time i am perfectly happy with my life, although i admit every once in a while i miss girl talk and stuff. The thing is i guess i am worried that this isnt healthy behavior. I know people always say you shouldn't just have a boyfriend, that you need friends, but i just don't have much of a desire. I am the happiest I have been in my life but im just worried that there is something wrong with me, especially when my family makes me feel bad for not spending more time with them. I live about three hours away from my parents but they have a beach house only 15 minutes away from me. When they come for the weekend (which is usually every other weekend) I always see them at least once but my mom is always complaining that I don't see her enough and that I should come home more often. So i guess i was just wondering if there is something wrong with me, i feel like i finally have things going right, but maybe im wrong?
Explorer Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Hello Zoe, Nothing wrong IMO. You're obviously internally motivated, which I personally believe has more beneifts as opposed to being externally motivated and relying on other people for motivation/happiness. As long as you're HAPPY and socially withdrawn, it shouldn't be an issue. However, if you're socially withdrawn from being bitter, resentful, angry....then you should be concerned. Happy hunting, Explorer
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