CandyGirlXO Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Should I??? The ex and I talked a little last night, and I know we will not get back together. We are not good for each other, but I miss the SEX. I broke up with him, so it would be okay if I call the shots. I hear guys on here say that a guy can separate love and sex. So do you think my ex who probably still wants to be with me, can handle just having sex? I am just not sure if this is a great idea. I fear me going there having great sex, and then feeling bad afterwards for leaving. I also fear him crying to me begging me to give him another chance. Help me! Some advice or experience, what should I do?? I have this fear that I am not going to have sex ever again.... or at least not for a VERY LOOOONNNGGGG time. Is this a bad idea???
northstar1 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Should I??? The ex and I talked a little last night, and I know we will not get back together. We are not good for each other, but I miss the SEX. I broke up with him, so it would be okay if I call the shots. I hear guys on here say that a guy can separate love and sex. So do you think my ex who probably still wants to be with me, can handle just having sex? I am just not sure if this is a great idea. I fear me going there having great sex, and then feeling bad afterwards for leaving. I also fear him crying to me begging me to give him another chance. Help me! Some advice or experience, what should I do?? I have this fear that I am not going to have sex ever again.... or at least not for a VERY LOOOONNNGGGG time. Is this a bad idea??? Well, emotions certainly can play a big factor. It's rare that both could just enjoy that and walk away completely emotionally unscathed. Is it worth it?
Meaplus3 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Candy, It sounds like from your post that you will end up feeling bad about it. So I would conclude that it's infact a bad idea. Hang in there. AP:)
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 Well for me I think I can handle it... he is moving far away anyways My concern is that he might not be able to handle it, I am sure he would be all up for it. Its just the leaving part that concerns me. But I always hear how guys can separate love and sex, so I thought maybe he could deal with it. I mean I could just call him and ask him what he thinks about it, but I already know he isn't going to turn me down.... he is a guy. I just wanted to get other peoples opinions on it. We had a pretty horrible break-up but we have recently have had some okay conversations. I just don't want him to cry to me, and make me feel guilty. I just feel like its been so long since I have had sex. But part of me tells me not to do it, because eventually it will be gone, and I will be stuck by myself.
sultry33 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 having been in this situation and being female i can say.. you may think you will be strong, but it is very difficult to walk away and not ask yourself questions.. feel sad. it feels safe and familar with an ex.. but sex is just that.. for me i need to feel the love connection.. we both feel good, we both feel sad.. if he was leaving i dont think i could do it.. for me its about keeping our connection.. keeping our love.. we may not be pysically able to be together.. but its a start and a continuation of our bond. you need to ask is this what you really want? sex you can get anywhere..
gummybear Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Life works in funny ways. Looks like from previous threads that while you are over the r/s, you are not quite over him yet. By having sex with him, your feelings will remain strong and you might have second-thoughts and maybe even ask to get back with him. Then maybe by that time he has moved on and it will hurt. OR, even if you don't ask for him back, when/if he gets a new gf or when he moves away it will only leave you feeling more alone/sad/hurt. Don't drag out the pain. You miss the sex. But if you keep doing it, you will only miss it more once you lose it again.
iwish Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 My ex GF dumped me (a few times) and we met up a couple of weeks ago for sex. It was great sex and a great night.. The next day however was awful. I told her i loved her and she walked away saying nothing.. A few days later i saw her with another guy.. My point is, from the male dumpee's perspective. It hurts a hell of a lot after the fun, when the girl you love walks away. I didn't cry and i didn't beg but inside i felt awful and still do now. Did it give me false hope.. Yes Do i regret it... Yes and No... Would i do it again.. Damn right!! But then i'd have to go through the pain of getting over her again. And that's just bloody hard.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 You guys are right. I need to not go back there and drag this out. I also do not want to give him false hope. I am not going to go through with it. Looks like I am on my own with this one.
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