EMBeee Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Hello all, me again Well as most of you know my situation already, I am just gonna cut to the chase on this one. Well, my LD bf did finally start to call me since he was too tired to talk on the phone most of the time, I decided I wouldn't call him and let him call me... well he did finally pick up the phone and dial my number. When he did call me, it was about 5 or 6 days that passed with little or no contact with him whatsoever... mostly him being too tired or he didn't pick uo the phone and what not. It seemed really awkward when we finally did talk. When I answered I was like "Hey, wow, how have you been? Haven't heard from you in years!" lol... I guess I was just more shocked and amazed that he called me. Now, it seems like the flame has become burnt out... I still love him and want to be with him, but with him not contacting me all those nights and without me seeing him put any effort into this relationship... me being the one to go there, me being the one to always call, me being the one to send the gifts... I just feel burnt out! I feel bad that it's like that... I still love him but I feel like I am not "as interested" as before. Had he put in the effort and showed me that he "cared" -- which I think he does, just has a lazy, very lazy way of showing it... I would still be full force with the relationship. He called me last night also, but again he was tired... so I just wasn't too interested in talking, partly because my kids were being loud and obnoxious and I myself was also tired. I feel bad though... I am going to see him in July... July 8-13 to be exact and I am wondering if you think the spark will re-ignite??? I hope so... I was feeling so bad that he might have lost interest in me because of his lack of communication but now I feel like I am the one who is also losing the spark... not so much the "interest" part of it but laziness or maybe because I am now enjoying my "freedom"?!??? I really can't wait to see him again, I just hope the spark will re-ignite... any thoughts?? thanks!
Author EMBeee Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 I just wish that he would've showed me that he's "thinking" of me or "misses" me, but through the months his contact and effort with me slowly faded and I feel like he was/is taking me for granted.... and because of that, I feel he's pushing me away. I don't want to be pushed away, I'm the typed of girl that needs that "loving" attention and I need to feel wanted and pursued and I need to feel like I'm worth his time... and if I don't "feel" like I am important to him, then my attention wanders... not saying I will cheat. I just wish he'd show me that I am important to him, that's all. So... to anyone struggling in a LDR, please don't take your loved ones for granted. It is VERY important to establish communication... because without the "physical" ailments... a phone call is really all you have, or IM, or email... communication is key!!!
Petahs116 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Wow, I'm not alone! I'm a male, and currently i've been going through the same in my LDR with my girlfriend. I feel exactly how you do right now. Everything you wrote matches my feelings, to the t. I'm a bit curious as to what to do myself.
Nevermind Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 It's relatively easy to say and incredibly hard to do: break up. Communication IS the relationsip in long distance relationships. There is nothing else. If it doesn't work, you're merely a holiday **** friendship. Or a romantic security net. Whatever you prefer. If your partner is not making any effort, he is not in it as much as you. Of course, everybody goes through a rough spot once in a while, and for this, we need to be patient. But if nothing changes, they just don't care enough. Point blank tell them how you feel, give them the chance to change. If they don't take it, you'll know it's over. Speaking from experience, I allowed myself to be dragged along for a very long time and nothing good came out of it. Long Distance can work - but only if both of you are working on it. If not, it's doomed.
Author EMBeee Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 Well, I'm going there in Early July and then again in mid August for his b-day. I guess I will just see how things go these 2 times and after that it'll be up to him... I will leave the ball in his court. He needs to be able to come and see me once in a while too. I can't be the one to always visit him. There's so many things I'd like to take him to see here where I live... but he hasn't come up here yet. It just felt so right!! He talked about wanting children with me - even though we already have kids of our own from previous relationships, we talked about moving together... etc... he called me his "angel", he "needs" me in his life, I'm "special" to him, there's a reason I'm in his life... since I went to see him last he never says those things to me anymore The time we shared was very special!! Very romantic, we made love... you could feel it!!! And since I came back in April, it all slowly disappeared!! On his part... I've always kept up my end. I just want to know why it has died out?!? Shortly after I came back home I said to him that he's probably not going to like me anymore after our meeting, he said "Why wouldn't I ?" he said I am beautiful etc... I just wish he'd make me feel like he did in the beginning - just so I know that he feels the same way. I'm afraid to even go there in July and August because I'm gonna get attached again and I'm gonna come back home and it's gonna be the same thing all over again... I'm gonna get depressed and he won't come here and I'll feel unimportant and then I'll have to end it if he doesn't pick up his slack... There are other men who are showing me attention... I am pushing these other men away because I am hopeful... why? Because I'm a fool!!!!!!!
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