Cov Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I crossed paths with this girl in a store where she works, we got chatting as she was serving me. I left the shop with a good impression of her. She is smokin' hot and seemed bubbly and chilled. I visited her store a few more times, deliberately buying things I'll never use in order to speak to her. Finally after four or five visits to the shop she works in, I managed to exchange numbers with her. I phoned her up later that evening and we had a nice conversation for around thirty minutes. I then gave her my facebook address and this is where my attraction has declined. She added me and I accepted, I then checked her page out of curosity and wasn't impressed, because I expected us to have something in common and we don't. She likes shopping, drinking too much and clubbing, as a teenager that's hardly surprising and I like it too, but she has albums after albums of her smashed and she is a real poser. She wants to get to know me better, but from the off you can tell we are polar opposites. I am into rave music, hard rock, grunge. She likes R'n'B, Hiphop and Rap (I hate these forms of music with a passion). Our fashion sense is completely different, I dress in skinny jeans, straighten my hair and wear strippey jumpers and emowear. She likes short skirts and tops that models would wear etc. It's like Paris Hilton and Benji Madden all over again, except we are better looking then those two twats. She doesn't read, she doesn't want to visit the same travel destinations as me, her idea of a holiday is going to a party island and having fun and mine is laidback sight seeing in Thailand, Norway and other places. Am I being too shallow? Do polar opposites attract? I just don't see how things can work, then again am I acting prematurely? Should I give her a chance.
Pedigree Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 She added me and I accepted, I then checked her page out of curosity and wasn't impressed, because I expected us to have something in common and we don't. She likes shopping, drinking too much and clubbing, as a teenager that's hardly surprising and I like it too, but she has albums after albums of her smashed and she is a real poser. It's facebook, mate. Unless they've gone on an overseas trip that's all the pics that people have. Give her a go.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Yeah, most of my pics on Facebook were taken at various social events, many including drinking. I also have a bunch of travel pics. But...there are no pics of me going to church or exercising or any of the more healthy things I sometimes do as well. As far as the music, how do you know she wouldn't like what you like if she were more exposed to it? Give it a chance, mate. It sounds like there is some chemistry there. People can be opposite in some ways and very alike in other, more important ways. My very good friend is the polar opposite from me in many ways. Yet, we get along fantastically and always have a great time together. I know that's not dating, but if I saw her Facebook profile and didn't know her I wouldn't want to know her. I'm glad I do, though
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 You never know- perhaps you can learn something from each other? If you were attracted to her in person, and enjoyed the phone conversation... then that should hold more water than facebook pictures. I have silly S**t on my facebook- it isn't a true reflection of who I am.
Author Cov Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 There's no harm in giving things a go, I just believe we are too different for anything meaningful or worthwhile to take place, who knows maybe I will proven wrong? I am attracted to her and she seems like a thoroughly nice person and from first impressions, I am well... impressed. It's not so much the facebook pictures that have swayed my opinion, I have some less than flattering pictures of me on mine, it's more to do with us having very little in common. Favourite Television programmes, films, music, etc. Obviously I wouldn't want us to have lots in common, that would just be boring, but I feel there needs to some form of common interest, otherwise what else will we talk about? I'd like to get to know her better and I suppose we can learn from each other, but I'm just worried that our lack of common interests could prove a large obstacle in not so distant future. I'm a bit worried because the girls I have met in the past have had some form of common interest and that was always an integral part of something flourishing and happening. I'll be experiencing something new.
Balthazar Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Definitely give it a go! As a favorite rapper of yours would say "Little to lose, much to gain....":D
sunshinegirl Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 It's not just that they're 'polar opposites'...he seems to detest the things she likes/wears/listens to. Facebook is a place where people create the image they want you to have of them - she WANTS to be seen as a partyer. I think that's fairly telling even if it is not the 'whole story' of who she is (which an online profile inevitably is not). But I say pass. There will be more cute girls in your future that you will have more in common with.
sb129 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Ah Facebook. Adds a whole new dimension to our paranoia! Cov, I hadn't picked you as an emo type following some of our previous "discussions". Pleasant surprise that you don't drive a truck! As many of you know, I met my fiance via online dating and I picked and chose my dates EXACTLY the way Cov is doing now. Music taste, attitudes, employment status, how he looked in pics, travel ambitions, interests etc. If my fiance had been as much of an opposite he wouldn't have gotten a date, and I am being 100% honest. I have had my time dating polar opposites to me, and a few non-success stories later, I was tired of the hard work. Online dating is a little more obvious than facebook, but it isn't SO different- lots of people use it as a dating site. So while I could say "what would you have done before Facebook, give her a chance etc etc?", it would be very hypocritical of me to say that. Depends on whether you want a bit of fun or a long term mate.
sb129 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 PS- I am with you on the holiday destinations Cov, Thailand and Norway are cool. I can't stand the 18-30 Party Island Package Holidays that the Brits seem to LOVE. Shudder.
Jilly Bean Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I think you're focusing on the wrong things here. For any relationship to have any traction for the long-haul, you need to have core values in common. The rest of it, social compatibility, is all very secondary, and easily compromised. You seem to be way too concerned that your opposing taste in music or fashion would be a deal breaker. SO not so. Go out with her, find out what REALLY makes her tick. That is where you will find out if there is any true commonality.
Keridan Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I think you should give it a shot! You are right to be concerned about all the differences. They could present a problem later. But they could be great! You were attracted to this girl and found things to talk about at first. It may be that you have much more in common than you think. Facebook is hardly a biography. It's a social networking site. It's a few bits and pieces of her life chosen to suit what she thinks other people her age want to know about her. It can give you a few small insights, but don't read too much into it. You met a hot girl that you can flirt with and who was willing to drop her digits on ya. See where it goes from there! She might be completely and totally wrong for you, but half the fun is in discovering that instead of guessing it!
v33 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I think you're focusing on the wrong things here. For any relationship to have any traction for the long-haul, you need to have core values in common. The rest of it, social compatibility, is all very secondary, and easily compromised. Good advice.
bayouboi Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 If she's willing to shallow, I think you've found yourself a keeper.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I know I'm old because i don't know what this emo stuff is. I know it has something to do with some kind of music. Anybody?
mixwell Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 You should for sure give it a shot dude.. I once dated a girl who was basically into all rock and what not and I mainly (nowadays) listen to hip hop.. The crazy thing was when I would drive and have "my" music on she actually liked it and downloaded some of the hip hop artists that I liked.. I wouldn't take facebook so literal.. I am seeing a girl from myspace and she HATES hip hop and listens to rock/ alternative but when we hang out we get along well. I guess the only difference is that besides hip hop I listen to a lot of other music from older UK punk, reggae, classic rock, 80s rock, 90s rock (Greenday, Nirvana etc..) I have been through different stages of music and the cool thing is that I can appreciate all music that I like for what its worth but my main love for music right now is REAL hip hop (not that radio garbage) and reggae. Judge her on her personality and how well you 2 communicate not on her interests in music and such... Peace
Author Cov Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 It's not just that they're 'polar opposites'...he seems to detest the things she likes/wears/listens to. Facebook is a place where people create the image they want you to have of them - she WANTS to be seen as a partyer. I think that's fairly telling even if it is not the 'whole story' of who she is (which an online profile inevitably is not). But I say pass. There will be more cute girls in your future that you will have more in common with. I do not detest anything about her, what the hell are you on about? I have never dated a girl who I struggled to find any common interests with. The whole facebook issue with regards to her partying is not really the main issue, I have, its having pretty much nothing in common with her. Now I have taken the advice of everyone who has been kind enough to post and I have arranged a date with her as of yesterday evening, we are going out next saturday. We are going out for lunch, then we are going to a ten pin bowling alley, followed by going to the cinema.
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