kizik Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 What I want to say here is inspired by my good friend Fox. At a certain point, you have to pick yourself up off the floor, wipe the tears from your eyes and say, "Time to stop whining." When you've talked your friends' ears off about the ex. When you've pined and yearned and wished and hoped, and it's changed nothing. So here it is: STOP IT! Stop your crying and your complaining. The ex is gone, they aint coming back, and you know what? They weren't all that goddamn amazing anyway. It's time to get out of bed, get out the door, go to work, go to school, hang out with friends, smile, laugh, and pursue the things you always wanted to do, but never did. Of course I still feel like sh*t, deep down, or maybe even pretty close to the surface. But I refuse to be a sad sap, a victim, or a bitter exboyfriend. The world didn't end. It expanded.
sailing Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Well, really - what's there to add? And why do we refuse to see just how simple the solution is? (Anyway, I think everyone is over on the GRD board watching drama unfold)
Nevermind Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Sounds weird, but it helps...we all should have a look at what "not being able to let go" can end like. Sailing: thank you for your words in my other thread. I really needed to hear it. I won't bump it, to not trigger reading about him just now, but I wanted to tell you anyway. kizik: I know what you mean. I am still pining about my ex because I - like you - am without a real life support group and this messes up your emotions and hightens the neediness. He is a piss-poor excuse for a human being, actually. I just need to get him out of the system. And tough love is what I need for this. Completely understand your point! There are new worlds to discover for you!
orangehose Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Your posts are inspirational, kizik, always a good pick-me up or somehow insightful wherever I am in the slowly dampening vicissitudes of my grief cycles
replicator Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 You're right Kizik. Don't be a victim. I'm feeling the same way.. You know it sucks, and it is unfair and all, but that's life. We can choose to live in the PRESENT, and focus on TOMORROW, rather than living in the past and letting it taint everything we do. Learn from this pain. There is a lesson for us, and we can't lose sight of that. Learn and grow, and don't give up. There is no point for us to drag ourselves through the mud over and over.. It's just so pointless. We need to think about what we can do to help ourselves, and do it for us and nobody else. Sh*t happens. We either pick ourselves back up and move on, or we stay here and wallow in self pity. I say there is lots more of life to live, and more love to give... And I'm a poet and don't know it.
foxh1234 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 What I want to say here is inspired by my good friend Fox. At a certain point, you have to pick yourself up off the floor, wipe the tears from your eyes and say, "Time to stop whining." When you've talked your friends' ears off about the ex. When you've pined and yearned and wished and hoped, and it's changed nothing. So here it is: STOP IT! Stop your crying and your complaining. The ex is gone, they aint coming back, and you know what? They weren't all that goddamn amazing anyway. It's time to get out of bed, get out the door, go to work, go to school, hang out with friends, smile, laugh, and pursue the things you always wanted to do, but never did. Of course I still feel like sh*t, deep down, or maybe even pretty close to the surface. But I refuse to be a sad sap, a victim, or a bitter exboyfriend. The world didn't end. It expanded. Bravo man, well said!!
LikeCharlotte Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 The ex is gone, they aint coming backIs that acceptance I'm reading? Still some anger in there maybe but Wooohoo Kiz! Glad to see you are getting through it.
Author kizik Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 LC, acceptance and anger are not mutually exclusive. We're done, and I'm pissed.
tinke Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 kizik, how long has it been since the break-up? sorry, if you had already mentioned.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 LC, acceptance and anger are not mutually exclusive. We're done, and I'm pissed.I was just hoping that the pissed part was waning. You seemed very positive but a little pissed in your post. You can be both of course but anger is more painful than empowering for me so I suppose I'm coming from a different place.
sunshinegirl Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 I was just hoping that the pissed part was waning. You seemed very positive but a little pissed in your post. You can be both of course but anger is more painful than empowering for me so I suppose I'm coming from a different place. I had been strangely happy in this break up find my anger so quickly (I guess cheating will do that to you!)... but I have found being angry is incredibly exhausting. It's not a state of mind that I can maintain indefinitely --- it takes a lot out of me to be so pissed --- even though I have every right to be pissed! But it's tiring. I'm not through with my anger yet, to be sure, but LC is right that it can be more painful than empowering. Anyway, kizik you're as always a big inspiration. Congrats on the progress you've made!!!
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Of course I still feel like sh*t, deep down, or maybe even pretty close to the surface. But I refuse to be a sad sap, a victim, or a bitter exboyfriend. The world didn't end. It expanded. In a nutshell, this is the attitude. Everyone had a choice when selecting their exes. As adults, you entered into the relationship with free will. You also had a choice in exiting the relationship when you weren't being treated properly. (All generic "you's".) Do people think it wise, allowing someone to have that much control over your life, when they don't choose to be part of it? When you over-analyze the ex/demise of the relationship, you feed an obsession. Time to step back from feeding it and using that energy to learn to live again.
Recommended Posts