Willyone Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I lost my everything 3 years ago, for my inability to commit, we both made plans of marriage and everything and when it came the time to meet her parents, i totally backed out. I was scared, don`t know why, i really loved her and still do, but i cancelled and made up a silly story. I told her that if she really loved me she would understand me and give me a break to think things over. And she did give me a break! She told me she didn`t want nothing to do with me and she also said "i still love you and you are the love of my life, but i can`t be with you...you hurted me deeply and i can`t forgive you now" i asked her for understanding, but i was so selfish! i didn`t understand her and her needs. I realize that you don`t do that to the person you love, you don`t plan things for the future and then cancel them, they just don`t understand, maybe if someone died..but just because i was scared? it`s not enough reason. And that`s what i did and she left to another country. I went to the airport to say bye to her, she was supposed to come back in a year, but it`s been 3 and she`s still gone and i`m miserable! before leaving she said "i still love you" and i said the same back...she looked at me with a sad, disappointed face as if she was waitting for more, like "stay! let`s do this!" but i didn`t and i still don`t know why!! I know if i would have done things different, i would be happily married to her, because she was a great woman, sweet, loving, caring, passionate, smart, sexy and the list goes on... but i blew it and i didn`t try to fix it...i should have gone to where she was and ask her to come back to me, but i didn`t! I`m a very sad and lonely man now, i have been dating a few girls, but nothing compares to my Lucy and i can`t forget her. i know i lost "the one", now she`s married with some doctor and she`s expecting her first baby.
4givrnt4gtr Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I lost my everything 3 years ago, for my inability to commit, we both made plans of marriage and everything and when it came the time to meet her parents, i totally backed out. I was scared, don`t know why, i really loved her and still do, but i cancelled and made up a silly story. I told her that if she really loved me she would understand me and give me a break to think things over. And she did give me a break! She told me she didn`t want nothing to do with me and she also said "i still love you and you are the love of my life, but i can`t be with you...you hurted me deeply and i can`t forgive you now" i asked her for understanding, but i was so selfish! i didn`t understand her and her needs. I realize that you don`t do that to the person you love, you don`t plan things for the future and then cancel them, they just don`t understand, maybe if someone died..but just because i was scared? it`s not enough reason. And that`s what i did and she left to another country. I went to the airport to say bye to her, she was supposed to come back in a year, but it`s been 3 and she`s still gone and i`m miserable! before leaving she said "i still love you" and i said the same back...she looked at me with a sad, disappointed face as if she was waitting for more, like "stay! let`s do this!" but i didn`t and i still don`t know why!! I know if i would have done things different, i would be happily married to her, because she was a great woman, sweet, loving, caring, passionate, smart, sexy and the list goes on... but i blew it and i didn`t try to fix it...i should have gone to where she was and ask her to come back to me, but i didn`t! I`m a very sad and lonely man now, i have been dating a few girls, but nothing compares to my Lucy and i can`t forget her. i know i lost "the one", now she`s married with some doctor and she`s expecting her first baby. Im sorry you are hurting so bad. While reading your post I couldnt help but hear my now ex saying the exact same things to me. We were supposed to get married, we were doing great, and then, as he put it, he choked...he got scared and did something really stupid. He doesnt understand why either, much like you did. From the point of view of a woman, this fear you men speak of to us translate as you not loving us enough. To me it tells me that even if you dont really realize it consciously, deep inside you know its not right, you dont feel strongly despite how great you might think we are. Thing is, no matter how good she looks on paper, deep inside you knew what needs to be there in order to make it a long term thing just wasnt there. Just like my ex, you were with her because you felt like you couldnt ask for more, yet, she didnt fulfill you so the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone who didnt make you forget about everything else, scared the living bejesus out of you. (As I said, this is how I translate this whole fear thing...and I have a suspicion most women do too). Your ex is a lot stronger that I am, fortunately. I asked my ex to take time to think about what he truly wanted and then call me if he found out he loved me the way I deserve to be. I know he will realize that he doesnt, since the whole 'i lost her" thing isnt there to scare him. In a way Im helping him not having to deal with what you are dealing with now. But in the end, I am the one who's gonna be really really hurt. WHat im saying is, if you had the chance to get back with this girl, and you seriously think about it...you will find that you dont love her as much as you think. Its just the whole "i lost her" factor that is playing. Know that everything happens for a reason...whether you know it or not. Your subconscious told you she wasnt it...Accept it, know that you will meet someone who wont give you the willies when push comes to shove, and THEN you will have a lovely married life. sucks how things arent always black and white doesnt it?
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