sophiah Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 The guy in question is 17 and not a fluent English speaker. He doesn't know my age (have not concealed it, it's just never come up), but I'm about 20 years older. The reason why I wonder is that I get quite mixed signals from him. And while trying to figure out my own side of the story, am trying to make sure I'm not reading more into something than warranted. Essentially, he's done all the dreamy eyes, staring, winking, grasping the arm, acting a bit tense, hovering moves. But at the same time, can then slightly reverse course the next meeting and pay less visual attention, but still hover. Can hover, but then, when we're having dinner with a group, does not, say, sit next to me. Puts a seat between us. Should add that he's actually a dance instructor, who occasionally holds hands with me (a few times with other students) to show me a move. Am afraid that's what put the question in my head, b/c he seemed to hold them longer with me, and do things like squeeze my hand or interlock the fingers. That's when I first picked up on some sort of a vibe. But am reluctant to focus on that since it may just be a teaching technique. Any thoughts would be quite appreciated. Am really a bit befuddled by myself and the whole situation.
Trialbyfire Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 How about worrying less about what he feels and being highly concerned about why you're interested/attracted to a 17 year-old boy?
Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 You're old enough to be his Mommy and I am greatly concerned about the pedophilic implications here. Have you always been interested in children romantically? Is this something you have acted on in the past? This is not healthy by any stretch.
jerbear Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I think you are just hot for the teacher. The thing is you are much older and like the closeness, intimate closeness from dancing. You're getting lead, thought, "wooed", by dancing. Dancing is an aphrodisiac for some but if you were to say dance with another instructor your age (probably older), you might fall for him also. I think you are actually associating the dance instruction with something else. Something missing in your life the closeness that intimacy provides. I suggest taking a break from the dance instructor. If not seek therapy.
Pluto Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 In Eastern Europe she wouldn't be considered jailbait as in some of these countries the concent age is 14. However I have never understood why a grown man or woman would be attracted and interested in a young teenager. 37 - 17 is a huge age gap, if he was six or seven years older, then fair enough, but he isn't so leave him be.
saraispiel19 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 In Eastern Europe she wouldn't be considered jailbait as in some of these countries the concent age is 14. However I have never understood why a grown man or woman would be attracted and interested in a young teenager. 37 - 17 is a huge age gap, if he was six or seven years older, then fair enough, but he isn't so leave him be. that is true lets just hope shes not in america
Pluto Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I was 17 once and had fantasies about sleeping with 30 something women, even forty something women, but the keyword here is fantasy, they weren't real and I never had a strong desire to pursue women old enough to an aunt or mother. The poster needs to just step back and assess the situation, the kid is still a kid, he is not a man, if he was 21 or 22, I doubt anyone would raise an eyebrow. Let the kid turn eighteen and have experience with his own age category then someone who could be his mom.
Shygirl15 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 The guy in question is 17 and not a fluent English speaker. He doesn't know my age (have not concealed it, it's just never come up), but I'm about 20 years older. The reason why I wonder is that I get quite mixed signals from him. And while trying to figure out my own side of the story, am trying to make sure I'm not reading more into something than warranted. Essentially, he's done all the dreamy eyes, staring, winking, grasping the arm, acting a bit tense, hovering moves. But at the same time, can then slightly reverse course the next meeting and pay less visual attention, but still hover. Can hover, but then, when we're having dinner with a group, does not, say, sit next to me. Puts a seat between us. Should add that he's actually a dance instructor, who occasionally holds hands with me (a few times with other students) to show me a move. Am afraid that's what put the question in my head, b/c he seemed to hold them longer with me, and do things like squeeze my hand or interlock the fingers. That's when I first picked up on some sort of a vibe. But am reluctant to focus on that since it may just be a teaching technique. Any thoughts would be quite appreciated. Am really a bit befuddled by myself and the whole situation. This is really weird. Seriously. :sick::sick:. Yeah, I'm sick to the stomach.
theobserver Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Pay these peopel no mind. Younger Man and Older Woman relationships are fine and are increasing these days. The problem here is if his age wether legal at the moment in your country or not. I would wait til he's 18 or 20 before making the move or if he does eventually wait a move and this feels like the real thing see if he's willing to wait. Just make sure it's legal before you do the TANGO! Going into a relationship like this takes much commitment and be prepared to be judged harshly unless you look young for your age and he looks considerably older. Sadly it's more accepted for an older man to to go after teenaged girls then it is for older women. Why you ask? Because it's a Mans world and we've successfully manipulated most of the female population to not think it's much of a big deal and to accept it "he probably cant get it up, she's after his money, he's after sex," It's funny when I see older women and younger men as a couple I'm more inclined to believe it's love then older men and younger women probably because I know what they're having to go through. Although sometimes the pairings aren't so obvious. There's also the problem the younger male may stray once once you are appearing considerably older and possibly getting health problems. I like to say 15yrs should be the cut-off in inter-age relationships but people will do as they please. I'm not going to spite what is right and wrong here not too long ago many people didn't agree with interracial relationships infact some still don't though they wont make it known in public even international pairings can be frowned upon sometimes you just got to stick a finger up to the world Aslong as both of you are Legal consenting ADULTS(adults being the key word here) the world can suck it. Now I'm not sure his actions suggest he's interested in you. It seems you are more infatuated with this young man. If you really want to find out strike a conversation make up a fake story about a younger guy hitting on you and find out his opinion " A younger guy hit on me the other day, I was shocked what would he see in me, as a younger man can you understand his actions" then based on his answer just leave it there if he does like you try to keep it emotional and professional until he's abit older if either of you can wait. Best of luck. If this doesn't work out start getting out there to date sounds like you need to get laid asap.
BentSpine Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Welcome to Loveshack, sophiah. If he's interested I think he would be attentive to you and try to talk to you when not many people are around. He perhaps fears that his interest is not reciprocated by you and would rather not everyone to know until he feels more secure. At 17 he would clearly be above the age of consent here. That means that a group of lawmakers have already though long and hard about this romantic age gap issue and came to the conclusion that it's alright. Happy dancing!
Meaplus3 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 My guess is that he probably looks up to you in a Motherly way. AP:)
Trialbyfire Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 While I can understand the Mrs. Robinson style of interest from the boy, what I can't understand is what a 37 year-old woman would see in a pimply-faced kid. No offense to anyone but a boy that young wouldn't even be properly formed, in that he would most likely still be awkward and gangly. I cannot see the appeal of someone so mentally, emotionally and physically unformed.
Shygirl15 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Pay these peopel no mind. Younger Man and Older Woman relationships are fine and are increasing these days. The problem here is if his age wether legal at the moment in your country or not. I believe the reason most people here are concerned about is the fact that the boy is 17, and not because she's older by 20 years. In most countries, this age is considered a minor. It would have not been that disturbing, if he was 25 and she, 45.
D-Lish Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I am 38 and have had a smattering of dating experiences with guys in the 22-25 age range. They have always been the ones to do the chasing, and it was fun for a while- but the maturity gap is really hard to deal with. It has brought me nothing but trouble to be honest- I thought dating that young would be fun- no strings attached, some company, no commitment. But I have had problems with them getting attached- and even a little stalkerish in some cases. I don't advise getting involved with someone as young as 17... Sounds like he likes to flirt. As a dance instructor, it's his job to touch you and guide you physically. I'd recommend just keeping this a fantasy!
Lizzie60 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Humm.. it's not the 20 year difference that is the matter.. it's the boy's age.... My biggest age gap is 31 years.. I'm 56.. he's 25.... but.. under 25.. I don't think so.. that would be waayyy too young for me.. but that's just me.. I can understand if you're attracted to him.. he might be very 'mature' for his age.. he might look way older too.. Some 25 yr old look like 15.. some 15 look like 25.. it's hard to say sometimes.. But I KNOW that young guys are a LOT of fun...
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