pickingupthepieces Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 So I have a long complicated story that has taken up so much time and space in the "coping" section!! I never thought I would EVER be writing in this section. I tried SO hard for a second chance and wanted it so bad... but got NO where. Now I think I may have a chance at a second chance.... but do I want it? I mean I THINK he wants it... I don't know ...how do I approach the situation without making myself look weak and fall to pieces? Maybe he likes just "being with me?", but not really having to BE with me. We are spending time together.. slowly. Now we have been calling eachother everyday for just about a week straight. Not long convos, just chatting, I love yous etc.. It has changed alot from months ago.. It was me who was always trying to contact him... I mean I love this guy, he knows this... he loves me and I know that.. GOD I wish it was that easy. I think we have changed since we were together and see things differently... So I am stuck on two things: How do I find out what he wants? AND How do I know if I CAN do this? I mean "fixing" a relationship is ALOT of work... and I don't know if I can handle getting my heart broken again. Plus we BOTH have to want it... me or him can't fix it on our own. ANY ideas??? HELP
carrotgirl Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I think we have changed since we were together and see things differently... So I am stuck on two things: How do I find out what he wants? AND How do I know if I CAN do this? I mean "fixing" a relationship is ALOT of work... and I don't know if I can handle getting my heart broken again. Plus we BOTH have to want it... me or him can't fix it on our own. These are similar to some questions I had to re-think for myself. Instead of "How do I find out what he wants?" I'm making an effort to accept that what is ... IS. I am what GD wants. This relationship (in whatever form) is what GD wants. If he wants something else I already know he'll inform me of that decision, so until I hear otherwise, I will accept that this is what he wants. What I'm learning is that my relationship is better served by me deciding what I want and then concentrating on fulfilling what I want instead of what GD wants. The GD will take care of his own wants. Can I do this? is a big question that I won't know the answer to until I look back and say, Yah! I did that, or No, I couldn't do it. I'm in strength training with that question, managing my emotions and reactions a little at a time. Carrot
Author pickingupthepieces Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 I guess he must want to be with me in some way...otherwise we wouldn't see eachother and he wouldn't be calling. I need to get myself under control though and make sure I don't get caught up in all of this! Thank you I am going to try and decide what I WANT... which I haven't come to a conclusion on yet, but I mean decisions don't need to be made RIGHT away! I think I'm going to try and take it slowly which is HARD for me!! But I have to get myself together and try and manage myself better... I have stuff I need to work on... jealousy... control issues etc... So I think I will focus on me (as much as I can) and TRY and keep him to the side... I AM more important then our relationship... I just have to remember that
gummybear Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Be careful not to let him see you too much or get yourself into a fwb thing. If you're too available, he won't have a chance to miss you. He might just be using you to pass time until he finds someone else. Just tread carefully.
Recommended Posts