CandyGirlXO Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 This makes me so mad about life. I had this life plan that I would go to college, get my degree, meet my future husband in college, and then get married after we graduated. Then have children after we both had secure jobs. This plan of mine never happened. I graduated college, I have an okay job, but now NO BF. My friend on the other hand after HS she just did nothing but little jobs here and there, no college, no plans. Now she is married and she has a daughter. Her husband makes enough so that she can stay home and take care of her little one. I am so happy for her, but this pisses me off. I was trying so hard thinking/planning out my future, and she just la la la during the whole time and now I feel like she is so FARR ahead of me in life. Get my point/frustration?!?!?! What gives?
Prodigal Princess Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 She did nothing after high school and is now a stay at home mum? God, I could not imagine anything worse! At least you have something to look forward to. Dates, lust, spontaneous holidays, romance, never knowing what's around the corner... Most of this is pretty much behind her now she is stuck with just a screaming sprog and Oprah for company day in day out. Enjoy your freedom and make the most of it!
Karyyk Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 @Prodigal Princess: Not everyone wants the same things out of life, you know? What seems like horror to some men (being "tied-down," married, having children, etc.) happens to be what I want, though I'm not going to "settle" to get it. Different strokes for different folks I guess. For me, not knowing what's around the corner = anxiety. @CandyGirlXO: Just don't give up. Your plan sounds a lot like my "plan." I went to college and got my degree (although what I do for a living now has nothing to do with it), but never met the right woman. I've had some serious relationships, but none of them turned into the marriage I had been seeking. No one would commit, and honestly, they probably had some good reasons not to, judging from my personal inventory of faults and shortcomings. You can't really "plan" for that kind of thing. You never know when love is going to come, you never know when that special someone is going to enter into your life, and you never know whether or not the circumstances in your life are going to be where you want them to be when that love does enter your life. All you can do is better yourself, living life as well as you possibly can and try not to worry about that. It's hard sometimes, I know that better than most, but you can't really rush that kind of thing. Try to enjoy life, try not to get bitter about the things you want but don't have and never, ever settle for less than you know you deserve. Things will get better.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I am so happy for her, but this pisses me off. I was trying so hard thinking/planning out my future, and she just la la la during the whole time and now I feel like she is so FARR ahead of me in life. She isn't so far ahead. It's great to plan and have goals but somethings are not completly with in our control I'm not trying to sound like an AA member but here is a portion of the serenity prayer. ...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; I am not religious or in recovery but I've always thought that this passage has wisdom. If you keep moving on your path two things will happen. First your goals and ideas about your life will change due to your circumstance. Second, you will get there but THERE will be nothing like you imagined it (like a vacation to somewhere you've never been). It will be better.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 19, 2008 Author Posted June 19, 2008 @Prodigal Princess: Not everyone wants the same things out of life, you know? What seems like horror to some men (being "tied-down," married, having children, etc.) happens to be what I want, though I'm not going to "settle" to get it. Different strokes for different folks I guess. For me, not knowing what's around the corner = anxiety. @CandyGirlXO: Just don't give up. Your plan sounds a lot like my "plan." I went to college and got my degree (although what I do for a living now has nothing to do with it), but never met the right woman. I've had some serious relationships, but none of them turned into the marriage I had been seeking. No one would commit, and honestly, they probably had some good reasons not to, judging from my personal inventory of faults and shortcomings. You can't really "plan" for that kind of thing. You never know when love is going to come, you never know when that special someone is going to enter into your life, and you never know whether or not the circumstances in your life are going to be where you want them to be when that love does enter your life. All you can do is better yourself, living life as well as you possibly can and try not to worry about that. It's hard sometimes, I know that better than most, but you can't really rush that kind of thing. Try to enjoy life, try not to get bitter about the things you want but don't have and never, ever settle for less than you know you deserve. Things will get better. Yes I agree, me not knowing makes me have anxiety!! Thanks for the posting I am really trying not to be bitter about the things I do not have but it is hard. And I will not settle for less than I deserve thats why I broke up with my BF.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 19, 2008 Author Posted June 19, 2008 Thanks LC for the quote, I always like your advice Prodigal Princess thanks also, I never looked at it that way. I know these kind of things in life we can't really plan. I was just trying to.
saraispiel19 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 She did nothing after high school and is now a stay at home mum? God, I could not imagine anything worse! At least you have something to look forward to. Dates, lust, spontaneous holidays, romance, never knowing what's around the corner... Most of this is pretty much behind her now she is stuck with just a screaming sprog and Oprah for company day in day out. Enjoy your freedom and make the most of it! what a horrible thing to say about stay at home mothers. i am completely outraged by your remark- how very unkind and an inconsiderate daft moo you are. as for candygirlxo: things unplanned often are better; you do have a lot of free time so why not focus on bettering your career and meeting new people, traveling is also a plus. Not following through your life plan is nothing to be pissed off about, some of the things like "finding your future hubby" is not something you can just pick out like being at a grocers. He'll come one day and it's worth the wait- haste makes waste. good luck to you and enjoy your life.
emerald72 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 having had my first daughter when i was 19, i sometimes feel i missed out on what my peers where doing, clubbing, dates, girly holidays! But i made the decision to have my daughter so i gradually felt comfortable in my own skin. eventually i went to University got my degree and masters, married (though mine is not one to use as a role model!). If i had not have got pregers then i would undoubtedly wanted to travel, date, and have as much freedom and fun as i could before i settled down. Stay at home mums are fantastic (i think so !) but so is having the freedom to choose what you want to do each day. Make the most of it, and when its time to meet the love of your life, you will know!! And just think! it might be in one of the far off places you will be able to visit!!:)
justaman99 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I understand you having your dreams but things don't always pan out exactly like we want. You have accomplished a lot so far and you're still so very young. Let things roll, smile when you're out in public and soon enough you will find the person you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Let it happen, don't force it to happen. -Just
kladia Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 don't have any advice, but i sympathize... got dumped out of the blue by my college boyfriend right after christmas. of course within the next few weeks i learned that pretty much the rest of my graduating class had gotten engaged over the holidays. my plans were ruined too. i've learned a lot about myself blahblahblah all sorts of good things, but whenever i hear about another friend of mine getting engaged, i just can't muster up anything but feelings of hopelessness. who's going to marry me if everyone's already married? I just graduated last year, could i just go maybe 3 months without a wedding or an engagement for chissakes?! at least i know not to waste my time at alumni events trying to meet people! anyhoo...it's good to realize that just b/c other people are engaged/married/whatever that they're lives (and relationships) aren't necessarily better. The people i know who waited until their thirties to get married were glad they didn't do it sooner! also the older you are the less chance you have of getting divorced, so not wishing anything bad on all the couples, but hopefully when we get hitched, it'll be for real!
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