Strange situation... what am I doing?

[AugustLane]

I got out of an LTR (which lasted over a decade) about a year ago. I have been on a few dates since, but nothing serious.

 

I recently reconnected with the last guy I dated before my LTR . The thing is, we reconnected online and he lives in another country. I thought I was in love with this man back then, but I always thought our relationship was just a summer romance that I fell too hard for (even at the time I thought that, the relationship only lasted for the summer). He was about 7 years older and I was only 19. He left because he got a job in another country but he tried to keep in touch. We did for a while- but being 19 (and assuming I was reading too much into the situation) I moved on quickly- to the guy the became my LTR.

 

Now that we are talking again it seems odd. I remember who I assumed this guy was. We had a great time, but I never took him or the relationship too seriously. I figured he was just enjoying my company for the summer (as was I- but being the very emotional girl I was/am I fell hard for him) and would move on as soon as he left- so I did too. But talking with him again I learned that I was wrong. Now that we are speaking as adults, I am beginning to see exactly how much alike we are. It's creepy. Also turns out, he wasn't using me for the summer after all.

 

Nothing can come of this because he lives in another country- but it feels weird speaking with him again. I have had 2.5 great loves in my life. He was one of them (the .5 was my decade long ex). This man always saw me as an inspiring woman- even at 19. It feels so nice to speak with him because I feel like I am reconnecting with who I was before this last relationship drove my spirit into the ground.

 

Why do I feel so excited and yet so trepidatious about speaking again? It isn't like anything can come of this.

 

Have you ever experienced something similar?

[AugustLane]

P.S. we are both single, so no one is being harmed in this reconnection... (just an fyi)