Why did you wait so long to give someone a second chance that you love?

[horriblewoman]

You love someone, the ball is in your court, but instead of coming to them right away ; you made them wait. What are some of your reasons for doing so?

[carhill]

1. Deciding what the reasons are would be at the top of my list. Haste makes waste...

[Trialbyfire]

Here's what I've experience from past exes coming back:

• Pride.
  
• Concern about displaying vulnerabilities.
  
• It sometimes takes awhile for them to miss you or realize what they lost.
  
• A game of breaking the other person to ensure they meet your needs.
  

I've only once given anyone a second chance. It was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made! An ex is an ex for good reason because it turned into the same old, same old crap, regardless of promises given.

[carrotgirl]

it turned into the same old, same old crap

I think avoiding this outcome is why at least one ex is going so slowly.

 

Carrot

[Trialbyfire]

I think avoiding this outcome is why at least one ex is going so slowly.

 

Carrot

The only way for second chances to work, is to stop the problem by truly changing.

[carrotgirl]

The only way for second chances to work, is to stop the problem by truly changing.

Recognizing what needs changing isn't easy.

 

Carrot

[Trialbyfire]

Recognizing what needs changing isn't easy.

 

Carrot

Never said they were which is why I've always been so anti-second chance.

 

Who knows, your relationship with GD might be one of those that succeeds.

[carrotgirl]

 

• Pride
  
• Concern about displaying vulnerabilities.
  
• It sometimes takes awhile for them to miss you or realize what they lost.
  
• A game of breaking the other person to ensure they meet your needs.
  

Carrot was guilty of committing all above sins in the not too distant past, and the last one in particular just a couple days ago.

Carrot took herself by the ego and gave herself a virtual duct-taping!

 

It's so much easier to point and say it's his fault. He's going slowly. He's the bad one. He left me. Bitch bitch. Whine whine. I'm going just as slowly. More slowly to "get it" than I realize because when I realize I feel like a moronic a$$ for seeing how it's all right there and I still could not get it sooner. And then I have to decide if I'm going to deal or if I'm going to be a lazy nit.

 

Carrot